The Balance of Truth Vs Lying

All humans have a degree of compassion from negative to none to a lot. Other words like forgiveness, sympathy, lincoln on slaveryempathy, doing the right thing, sadness, happiness, love also come to mind. People will do varying things in order to show their compassion from offering support or help to staying silent to secrecy to lying. At what point do we STOP lying and start saying the TRUTH? How do we balance LYING Vs TRUTH?

The TRUTH is needed for the greater good so that events of the past are NEVER repeated at least NOT without repurcusions from the law. Or maybe when someone’s life is in danger. Or maybe when someone is being abused. Or maybe when you need to change the laws for the greater good. Or maybe when being a slave to secrecy and lying becomes too overwhelming. Sometimes we all need a spark like Rosa Parks – standing up against the prevailing laws because its the right thing to do and let time be the real test. Ms. Parks could have just moved to the back of the bus, but why? Staying silent as a young, male, spouse caregiver of intersex AND an IVF father has been tried only with disastrous results including abuse of IVF children treated as property and NOT humans, why?

Cats, Dogs, or Humans?

As an IVF parent it breaks my heart to say but its true, a cat or dog has MORE rights than some IVF human children. I am by NO MEANS equating my IVF children or any other IVF children with a cat or dog but drawing attention to the stark differences in the prevailing LAWS when it comes to IVF child rights.

If a US citizen or resident agrees to have an IVF child brought into this world through surrogacy in a foreign country and then decides NOT to show up at the time of the child’s birth to take custody, does the US government condone such actions of its citizens and residents? Based on what I know about the US government, they would NOT condone such behavior, then what steps have been taken?

Should declaring an ongoing international IVF pregnancy  be mandatory when filing for a divorce in the US?

What are the EFFECTS on an abandoned IVF child as a result of such actions by an adult?

What are the rights of an abandoned IVF child? Are the needs of an IVF child any LESS than that of a natural born child? Does the IVF child have a right to a LEGAL IDENTITY? Does the IVF child have a right to a passport? If a child does NOT have legal identity, how can their legal rights be ensured and protected? Do we have respect for basic human dignity of an IVF child?

What is the responsibility and accountability of the adult who commissioned the international IVF pregnancy?

Who will “pay off” the surrogate if it was a commercial surrogate situation? Or should she be DENIED payment?

Should there be a “rainy day” fund for such rare circumstances in the best interest of the IVF participants?

If an adult who commissioned an IVF pregnancy in the US and decided to abandon the IVF child when born, would there be legal repurcusions? Then why not when its an international IVF situation? Is the “worth” of the international IVF child any LESS? We are living in a globalized world, where are the rights of the globalized world? We are asking the government to catch up with technology and pass laws for international situations in the best interest of the children.

If it is required to declare an ongoing natural born pregnancy when filing for divorce, why is not declaring an ongoing international IVF pregnancy NOT required? Or if there was suppression of facts, is it a crime to manipulate the court system?

If a cat or dog is abused, they have rights but if an international IVF child is traumatized, left in LEGAL LIMBO, no legal identity, left unwanted, left with no responsibility or accountability by the commissioning international adult, they have NO rights?

Rights of a Parent

Every person has a right to have a child – fertile, infertile and dysfertile. There is a right way and then there is the other way where rights of multiple human beings are violated and trampled and silenced with complete disregard for prevailing laws. The trauma, the abuse, the torture is unbearable. Its a gift to be alive despite being left for dead.

We need the TRUTH so that this can NEVER be repeated. The loopholes in the law need to be plugged in the best interest of IVF children and families. And for any violations and crimes in prevailing laws, it is up to the powers to be to decide what actions to take.


a) can be silent spectators OR

b) complicit in separating innocent, voiceless children from their biological families like innocent children were separated from single mothers during the baby scoop era and then apologize later OR

c) take action now and stop the ongoing ABUSE and SLAVERY to secrecy and lying.

One thought on “The Balance of Truth Vs Lying”

  1. Adorable little baby bump you have there at 17 weeks!!!! That is super exinitcg that you’re getting the flutters! I looove feeling the baby, it is such an amazing feeling and bond that only you and baby have and not to mention a great reasurance that there is in fact a healthy baby in there!!! Don’t worry about measuing a week ahead, that will change back and forth a few times as mine and all my friends have as well. They usually don’t change the date unless it is two weeks off the original date, so I’m sure your golden! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for that 8 pounder!!! 12 pounds boggles my mind completly!!! Leias photo while sitting on Daisy made me laugh since Whiskey always likes to sit or lay right on top of Yankee. I’m still waiting for photos of the rest of the pack missy!!! I know what Leia and Daisy look like! haha. I love you and enjoy those flutters :o)

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