Lance Armstrong Effect on Intersex and IVF

Lance Armstrong said, “I viewed this situation as one big lie that I repeated a lot of times”truth

The lesson learnt is that TRUTH always prevails regardless of legal suits, blaming others and arrogant denials. The “means” to an end have to be engulfed with TRUTH. Saying a thousand lies to hide one lie is not the answer.

Training hard for cycling to compete is not WRONG, Competing hard to win is NOT WRONG, Winning the ultimate cycling race and test of human endurance is NOT WRONG, lying, cheating and fraud is WRONG.

Being born intersex is NOT WRONG, it is natural, wanting to be married as an intersex person is NOT WRONG, wanting to have CHILD as an infertile, intersex person is NOT WRONG, lying, cheating and fraud is WRONG. There is no lying, cheating, fraud in LOVE. Love is unconditional and selfless.

If there were truth in the intersex and IVF industry, the innocent siblings would be united. If prevailing laws would be followed, the innocent siblings would be united. Uniting the siblings is the objective, save their future and not have a repeat of trauma and abuse upon the innocent children by forcing them to grow up separately. People like Tony Briffa and Imogen Callaway who are honest and making a change in their own ways is the right answer. People like the compassionate egg donor who died and the compassionate surrogate who died due to complications of an IVF child birth deserve justice. They are the true inspirations and we follow their lead. The spouse caregiver gave all the love and family support to an intersex spouse going through SRS unlike Sathya who died due to lack of family support and proper medical support. We do not want more stories like “Sathya” and so education and spreading awareness is key; secrecy and lying is a failed approach. And what happens to people like the spouse caregiver of intersex who tries to help in silence? SPLIT his innocent children? Why victimize children based on their parent’s gender?

The FACT is intersex people still cannot LEGALLY MARRY. The FACT is IVF children are still in “no  man’s land of laws” when it comes to international IVF/surrogacy. Even if Vedant is allowed to grow up separately, will other honest intersex people get EQUAL rights and will other IVF children get EQUAL rights? EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL and especially the minority within minority is a good cause. CHANGE the laws, not BREAK the laws.

Commonalities in Lance Armstrong story and the intersex and IVF storyTruth-brainwashing-alienation

Oprah: In your opinion, was it humanly possible to win the Tour de France without doping? Seven times in a row?

Armstrong: Not in my opinion.

Comment: It is unprecedented for any human to have a sex reassignment surgery (SRS) DURING a marriage (an extremely traumatic situation) AND be the primary care provider for an INFANT while being on a “COCKTAIL” of drugs. Is there any precedence to compare? This is a 1 in a BILLION case. Between two genetic males, and one undergoing medical treatment, who is the “traditional mother”?

Armstrong :  And I mean that, as I try to take myself out of the situation and I look at it. You overcome the disease, you win the Tour de France seven times. You have a happy marriage, you have children. I mean, it’s just this mythic perfect story, and it wasn’t true.

Comment: Look at it from the intersex person’s point of view. Got married (which is legally not possible) by fraud, overcame the revelation and got SRS DURING a marriage which is unprecedented, a child was born through IVF even though the intersex person is infertile, could not raise the child initially because of personal trauma in recovering from SRS and hormonal treatment, now has kept the child away from his PRIMARY CARE PROVIDER, the child’s only KNOWN biological parent. It is a MYTHICAL PERFECT STORY but not true. Why are the children being made the VICTIMS?

Armstrong :  I will start my answer by saying that this is too late. It’s too late for probably most people, and that’s my fault.

Comment: How many lives have to be ruined with LIES, FRAUD and CHEATING? What is the child’s (Vedant) fault? Why can’t Vedant touch, meet, see his sister? The sibling that Vedant WANTED? Has Vedant ABANDONED his sister? Are children their OWN INDIVIDUALS and have their own human rights? or should we reward LIES, FRAUD, CHEATING and BREAKING the LAWS and send that message to the CHILDREN?

Oprah: Were you a bully?

Armstrong: Yeah, yeah, I was a bully. … I was a bully in the sense that I tried to control the narrative, and if I didn’t like what somebody said, and for whatever reasons in my own head whether I viewed that as somebody being disloyal or a friend turning on you or whatever, I tried to control that. Say that’s a lie, they’re liars.

Comment: Committing fraud and abuse and then forcing silence on an innocent spouse under threats is bullying. When faced with divorce and losing a child, making false and wild accusations, manouevering the legal system, leaving the father for dead to choose between two children and expecting him to defend at the same time his rights, his children’s rights HAS NO WORDS, rather its CONTROLLING the narrative. An infertile person attempts MURDER of other people just to have their child. Making wild and false accusations just to have a child may work in the legal system (guess its more smart than to KILL the father) but IS IT RIGHT FOR THE CHILD? Have the BEST INTERESTS of the CHILDREN been kept in mind?


Oprah: What did you tell him? (referring to Lance Armstrong’s son)

Armstrong: First I want to tell you what happened. When this all really started, I saw my son defending me and saying, ‘That’s not true. What you’re saying about my dad is not true.’ And it almost goes to this question of why now? He can’t — yeah. That’s when I knew I had to tell him. And he never asked me. He never said, ‘Dad, is this true?’ He trusted me. And I heard about it in the hallways.

Comment : Breaking the trust of a child you claim to love is the ultimate. As an IVF father the fight is to UNITE the IVF siblings not DIVIDE them for personal and selfish gain. Truth is the only way forward in this long saga of lies, secrecy and fraud. Punish the culprits who committed the FRAUD, why punish the innocent CHILDREN?

Oprah: How is she handling all of this? (referring to Lance Armstrong’s mother)

Armstrong: She’s a wreck. She’s not the type of person that would call me up and say, ‘Lance, I’m a wreck.’ But my stepfather called me and said your mom’s having a really hard time. And I said, ‘I’m sure.’ But she’s a tough lady. She’s gotten through every other tough moment in her life. Just pointing that out there. And we were facetiming with her grandkids and my kids back and forth, and I saw my mom. And I thought, ‘Oh, this woman’s a wreck.’ … And it took seeing her to really understand that this is taking a toll on her life.

Comment : The grandmother in this case is an emotional wreck. There are infants who are raised by grandparents because the mother died at child birth or the mother had a severe medical condition prohibiting her from discharging duties as a traditional mother. There are even grandmothers who act as surrogates for their grandchild in the case of IVF. This is probably the FIRST case where the grandmother was FORCED in a situation to raise an IVF girl child because the “mother” had abandoned her. How do you REACT? It is one thing to SLAP an adult but it is totally different to SLAP someone’s child, an innocent INFANT. What is the FAULT of the innocent grandmother who cannot see her grandson and vice versa? As a grandmother with health issues due to age, she overcame the trauma and showed great strength and love in raising the abandoned infant granddaughter taking a DIRECT HIT on her HEALTH. Why?

Oprah : The truth shall set you free

Comment : In this case, TRUTH is the only way forward. Take a stand as a parent and change the laws rather than break the laws. It is a message which will resonate with the child one claims to love when they grow up as an adult. Take the children’s perspective when they are adults. Why did we have to grow up SEPARATELY as siblings? Because someone chose to lie and was too selfish rather than say the truth and take a STAND for the good of the whole society?

Victims of Intersex and IVF Industry

Intersex is a very traumatic condition, as a spouse caregiver of intersex there is unique qualifications tobitter_truth_must_be_told understand and know that intimately. The FACT is there are MORE intersex people in the world than there are SPOUSE CAREGIVERS of intersex. The parents of intersex aided and abetted the fraud out of love for their biological intersex child, an IVF father is speaking up out of love for his biological children and wants to UNITE them.

This case is FIRST about UNITING the children. It is also about educating and spreading awareness in the IVF and intersex industry that it is NOT OK to LIE and FRAUD in the name of “sensitivity” and it is a CRIME. The medical industry needs to revisit how they deal with intersex and follow the prevailing laws. The medical industry needs to revisit how they deal with IVF and follow the prevailing laws. We need to put the CHILDREN FIRST and give them their own rights AND NOT the rights based on the GENDER of their biological parent. We CANNOT have it both ways – either give GENDER NEUTRAL LAWS or make it ILLEGAL for a male to have a child on his own through IVF. The laws need to “catch up” with the technology or ban the technology just like human cloning is banned. But do NOT punish and hold the innocent IVF CHILDREN HOSTAGE while we as adults are struggling to understand what is the right approach.

One thought on “Lance Armstrong Effect on Intersex and IVF”

  1. Our story to have a baby started out like most I would igamine. We began with planning the perfect moment to start conceiving making sure all the rest of our life was in order first. Then at that precisely planned moment we started into this journey of making a baby with such anticipation. The first few months were so exciting and hopeful. No one expects it to take more than a few months to happen but we soon learned that our path to a family was not going to be that easy. After about 1 year of trying on our own without medical intervention, the hope definitely started to fade. It was then that we got more active in trying to conceive starting with preliminary testing by my gynecologist. Soon, our hopes were answered and I was finally pregnant. However, the joy did not last long. Within a week or so of learning the exciting news, I also started experiencing severe pain and spotting sending me to the hospital numerous times. I was first told it was a natural miscarriage which was crushing but later after the pain continued to grow in intensity, I was told even worse news. I had an ectopic pregnancy and had to be rushed into emergency surgery on my last visit to the hospital. Subsequently, I lost one of my tubes as a result of the surgery but found a glimmer of hope in the fact that my other side looked healthy according to the surgeon. I willed myself to stay positive and kept hoping that the next time would yield better results. After the ectopic, I also changed OBGYN offices and was immediately referred to Dr. Gago by my new gynecologist given my history. From the moment I met Dr. Gago, I was impressed with her well rounded approach to my infertility problems. She examined things like my thyroid closer and found issues that even my primary physician missed. She made recommendations to start new thyroid medicine that played an important role in ultimately conceiving. Dr. Gago’s testing was so thorough that I found confidence in her treatment course immediately and thought that she could help me. Even so, after many trials of fertility medicines I found myself starting to lose hope again. It had been over a year since starting with Dr. Gago . A year that started very promising but produced many sad phone calls saying once again the pregnancy test was negative. However, throughout this whole process the staff at Gago Center for Fertility never sounded discouraged and tried to keep me feeling the same. One day after yet another negative pregnancy test, I started to talk adoption with my husband fearing that I could not take the roller coaster ride of fertility any longer. Then, as if fate interceded, Dr. Gago personally called me that week in the evening and told me she thought we should try IVF. She emphasized how she felt it was our most promising option given the results of failed medicine trials in conjunction with my test results. She continued by stating she did not want to prolong the process and my emotional battle any longer than necessary. She wanted us to be successful and thought it was time to go for it. It was if she read my mind. I knew that the time was right too. I soon started the IVF process during which I found the nurses and techs at the office so accommodating and helpful answering any and all my questions timely and thoroughly. Dr. Gago attended to every detail ahead of time to ensure a successful, uncomplicated procedure. Preparing for IVF was a long, detailed process but the procedures themselves were fast and easy. Afterwards, though I didn’t feel any different, I knew in my heart that it worked. Naturally, one would think the day I saw the positive pregnancy test was the best of my life, however I was still in too much shock and way too guarded after being disappointed for almost 3 years to really get emotional just yet. It wasn’t until we saw our first ultrasound at 5 weeks that it really hit me that we were going to have a baby. And now at 25 weeks, as we are painting the nursery and getting ready to bring our little girl into this world, I am flooded with more joy, gratefulness and excitement then I could have ever igamined. To all those who are still trying to weave their way through this hard journey of infertility, I pray my story gives you some hope that anything is possible. I think the first thing we have to realize is to throw time tables out the window. It may have taken 3 years but I think it only made this baby and the experience that much more precious. Second, allow yourself to feel the whole spectrum of emotions that come with this journey without judgment. You are allowed to feel anger, resentment, and sadness along the way but ultimately never lose the hope. And realize that hope also comes with having the best team of professional behind you who truly care as much as you do and are in the fight with you like Dr. Gago and her team. I have heard numerous success stories come from her clinic like mine. She really is the best at what she does and can make miracles happen. I think our story proves it and I am grateful everyday God brought us to her.

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