What Does Equal Intersex Rights Mean and Would You Teach Your Child That?

Its 1999. You are Intersex. Legally, you cannot marry. Biologically, you are infertile and cannot have a child. What does one do? Being intersex is a naturally occurring condition meaning it is not the intersex person’s fault. However due to secrecy, stigma, lack of laws the situation is made worse. If you are a parent of an intersex child, what would you teach your child – to lie or say the truth? If you are a parent of a non-intersex child, what would you teach your child – to respect all or to discriminate? Every murderer is someone’s child, brother or sister, uncle or aunt, father or mother but they are still murderers. A murderer can be straight, gay, lesbian, intersex or different races, different genders – none of it matter, they are first a criminal then everything else. Every criminal who lies and breaks the laws is a criminal. Every criminal who coerces others to lie and break the laws is still a criminal. The question is what do we do as a society with criminals? Because when criminals get away with one crime, they tend to repeat their crimes creating more innocent victims.

As a parent, what will you teach your child about intersex rights? Will you say that all humans are created equal? Will you say that anyone should have the right to marry anyone? Will you say that despite being infertile, if a human has means to adopt or do IVF, they should be allowed to raise and love a child? Will you say that it is the love and character of a parent with a child which is more important than biology or gender of the parent? Most people would agree with this in 2014 despite the laws not in agreement. What do we do when a person who has followed all these tenants but still ends up being abused, victimized, persecuted for raising the voice and saying the truth? Worse, the children of that person are punished for crimes they did not commit.

It is a fact that up till 2000s, an intersex family who is also an immigrant and IVF family do not have rights and have to live in secrecy. In 2014, some things have changed but have a long way to go. More importantly, what protection does the government provide to victims who tried to give human rights to intersex people where laws itself fall short? Victims can be both innocent adults and children. Do they also have their own human rights? Or are they slaves of the lack of laws for intersex rights? And the strategy of secrecy and lies which has been used for decades/centuries in dealing with intersex will now be repeated on innocent immigrant, IVF families and children? How is that a solution of any kind? Are you on the right side of history?

Once the laws have conquered the human rights issues of today – race relations, disability relations, sexual orientation, marriage equality for all, gender relations, there is the NEXT – equal rights for IVF children and families. As victims of a triple whammy (intersex, immigrants, IVF) – what legal recourse do such victims have? When a death row victim who has been incorrectly convicted is exonerated based on DNA evidence, what do they feel like? The state gives them some compensation but can they restore the lost years of human dignity, the missed hugs and kisses of their little children, the missed opportunities to get an education and have a decent shot at a decent life? No amount of money can replace this and it is plane WRONG. One has to wonder what is worse – convicting an innocent human being and then exonerating them or just wrongfully killing them under the pretense of “law”.  The basic assumption why legal systems work is the notion of “fairness”. If the laws are anti-intersex then should people petition to change the laws or should people break the laws? And where is the “fairness” for immigrant, IVF families who are also part of an intersex family and its lack of laws?

With history on our side, regardless of what laws are enacted in future for equal intersex rights, equal IVF children and families rights, SPLITTING innocent IVF siblings due to lack of laws will still remain WRONG – just like wrongfully convicting an innocent human being for death row. Simple DNA evidence can prove the facts in accordance with the laws, why not use it?