Are we forgetting the EQUAL RIGHTS of innocent children in our zeal to give equal rights to adults? With increasing gay, lesbian, transgender, intersex relationships and current inequality of rights, there could be fraud or forgery or misrepresentation of facts to have a child during this transition period of equal rights. What about the equal rights of an in vitro fertilization (IVF) child? What are the different scenarios in an IVF? And who are the parents?
| IVF Child | FS | ME | MW | AS | AE | SW | IF | IM |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  | | | ?? | ?? | |||
| 2 | | | | ?? | ?? | |||
| 3 | | | | ?? | ?? | |||
| 4 | | | | ?? | ?? | |||
| 5 | | | | ?? | ?? | |||
| 6 | | | | ?? | ?? | |||
| 7 | | | | ?? | ?? | |||
| 8 | | | | ?? | ?? |
Legend:
1) FS = Father’s Sperm (Biological father)
2) ME = Mother’s Egg (Biological mother)
3) MW = Mother’s Womb
4) AS = Anonymous sperm donor
5) AE = Anonymous egg donor
6) SW = Surrogate’s womb
7) IF = Intended Father (non-biological)
8) IM = Intended Mother (non-biological)
Each case needs to be analyzed and understood to assign parentage. More importantly, what are the IVF child’s rights? For thousands of years, a child comes from a woman which is still true. The social acceptance and thus the laws have reflected this where the new-born child “inherits” the laws of a “mother” and the specific language used in laws is “child born to a female or mother”. The issue becomes as the cases pointed out above, what happens when the biological father is the only parent? What rights does the child get? Add the complexity of medical tourism and international surrogacy and a host of new issues arise. We will discuss that later in the document.
Our story to have a baby started out like most I would imngiae. We began with planning the perfect moment to start conceiving making sure all the rest of our life was in order first. Then at that precisely planned moment we started into this journey of making a baby with such anticipation. The first few months were so exciting and hopeful. No one expects it to take more than a few months to happen but we soon learned that our path to a family was not going to be that easy. After about 1 year of trying on our own without medical intervention, the hope definitely started to fade. It was then that we got more active in trying to conceive starting with preliminary testing by my gynecologist. Soon, our hopes were answered and I was finally pregnant. However, the joy did not last long. Within a week or so of learning the exciting news, I also started experiencing severe pain and spotting sending me to the hospital numerous times. I was first told it was a natural miscarriage which was crushing but later after the pain continued to grow in intensity, I was told even worse news. I had an ectopic pregnancy and had to be rushed into emergency surgery on my last visit to the hospital. Subsequently, I lost one of my tubes as a result of the surgery but found a glimmer of hope in the fact that my other side looked healthy according to the surgeon. I willed myself to stay positive and kept hoping that the next time would yield better results. After the ectopic, I also changed OBGYN offices and was immediately referred to Dr. Gago by my new gynecologist given my history. From the moment I met Dr. Gago, I was impressed with her well rounded approach to my infertility problems. She examined things like my thyroid closer and found issues that even my primary physician missed. She made recommendations to start new thyroid medicine that played an important role in ultimately conceiving. Dr. Gago’s testing was so thorough that I found confidence in her treatment course immediately and thought that she could help me. Even so, after many trials of fertility medicines I found myself starting to lose hope again. It had been over a year since starting with Dr. Gago . A year that started very promising but produced many sad phone calls saying once again the pregnancy test was negative. However, throughout this whole process the staff at Gago Center for Fertility never sounded discouraged and tried to keep me feeling the same. One day after yet another negative pregnancy test, I started to talk adoption with my husband fearing that I could not take the roller coaster ride of fertility any longer. Then, as if fate interceded, Dr. Gago personally called me that week in the evening and told me she thought we should try IVF. She emphasized how she felt it was our most promising option given the results of failed medicine trials in conjunction with my test results. She continued by stating she did not want to prolong the process and my emotional battle any longer than necessary. She wanted us to be successful and thought it was time to go for it. It was if she read my mind. I knew that the time was right too. I soon started the IVF process during which I found the nurses and techs at the office so accommodating and helpful answering any and all my questions timely and thoroughly. Dr. Gago attended to every detail ahead of time to ensure a successful, uncomplicated procedure. Preparing for IVF was a long, detailed process but the procedures themselves were fast and easy. Afterwards, though I didn’t feel any different, I knew in my heart that it worked. Naturally, one would think the day I saw the positive pregnancy test was the best of my life, however I was still in too much shock and way too guarded after being disappointed for almost 3 years to really get emotional just yet. It wasn’t until we saw our first ultrasound at 5 weeks that it really hit me that we were going to have a baby. And now at 25 weeks, as we are painting the nursery and getting ready to bring our little girl into this world, I am flooded with more joy, gratefulness and excitement then I could have ever imngiaed. To all those who are still trying to weave their way through this hard journey of infertility, I pray my story gives you some hope that anything is possible. I think the first thing we have to realize is to throw time tables out the window. It may have taken 3 years but I think it only made this baby and the experience that much more precious. Second, allow yourself to feel the whole spectrum of emotions that come with this journey without judgment. You are allowed to feel anger, resentment, and sadness along the way but ultimately never lose the hope. And realize that hope also comes with having the best team of professionals behind you who truly care as much as you do and are in the fight with you like Dr. Gago and her team. I have heard numerous success stories come from her clinic like mine. She really is the best at what she does and can make miracles happen. I think our story proves it and I am grateful everyday God brought us to her.+1