Two 9 year old boys, Dramatic Different Realities

Inspired by a news story about growing up as a black or white kid in the USA. How social perceptions train not only innocent children but ALSO adults and effectively the LEGAL FRAMEWORK. Social perceptions translate into LAWS like equal marriage rights and before then it was interracial marriage and civil rights before then and so on. Is it time for equal rights for IVF children and families? To put it into perspective, July 25th, 1978, 35 years ago was the birth of the FIRST IVF child. Are the laws for international IVF/surrogacy children EQUAL yet?

Story 1

This is about a US citizen child taken away from his biological father who was reunited at age 9 WHILE another child, an Indian citizen, taken away from his biological father and is now 9 years old but still SEPARATED from his only known biological family including parent, siblings, and grandparents.

Sean Goldman was an innocent American child who was taken away from his father in 2004 to Brazil. After over 5 years in 2009 with intervention from the people in the highest offices like then US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and US President Obama, Sean Goldman in Brazil was UNITED with his US father David Goldman in the US. At the time Sean Goldman was being raised by his maternal biological grandparents. There were NO reports of abuse or lack of food, shelter, clothes, education and such things that LEGAL COURTS look for in deciding child custody cases. As then US Secretary of State Clinton said, “A child belongs with his [biological] family.” It was a Republican Congressman who highlighted this issue to a Democratic Executive regarding this case, and a great bipartisan effort came together for the sake of the innocent child.

David Goldman, the biological father, had NOT seen his son or participated in his life during this abducted period. It is NOT like the father did not want to or did not try to be part of his son’s life BUT was always refused access to become an active participant in his son’s life. Despite a field day that “experts” or sociologists or whoever would maintain “status quo” and the EFFECTS on an innocent child in SEPARATING him from his primary care providers (the maternal biological grandparents) and the DISRUPTION it MAY cause, etc etc. After a couple years the father and son were UNITED, a news story reported that both got along great and were having a blast doing what father-sons do. Seems US Secretary of State Clinton was right after all. It was the RIGHT thing to do and let TRUTH prevail.

Story 2

Compare this to a stark difference in dealing with IVF and Immigration of a minority. 

Vedant Modi is an IVF (in vitro fertilization) child who is an Indian citizen and his only known biological family is in India. Maulik Modi, his father, was his primary care provider while they were together. Maulik is an immigrant to the US and is an IVF father. More importantly, because children “inherit” rights from their parents, IVF children like that of fathers like Maulik also do not have EQUAL rights. Vedant wanted a sibling and Maulik tried over 3 years and several failed IVF attempts and finally was successful and blessed with a second IVF child in 2009 again in India. Due to the FACT that immigration for gay families was NOT yet allowed in 2009, Maulik could NOT get his second IVF child to the US. The US government had NO intent to SPLIT the two innocent siblings or FORCE Maulik to choose over one child over the other because in 2013, the US government started allowing immigration for gay families. What about someone taking advantage of the LAWS for personal benefit? Is this a case of fait accompli?

Maulik has requested several times to allow Vedant to visit his sibling and family in India BECAUSE his sibling cannot travel outside India due to the direct consequence of the circumstances created in 2009 when she was born. These requests have been DENIED. Vedant cannot travel outside the US. How will the two siblings meet? Vedant has an entire family for him in India, a biological family, siblings, and his primary care provider until he was FORCIBLY separated from them. As per Universal Declaration of Human Rights, every citizen has a right to return to their own country. What are Vedant’s rights as an Indian citizen? What does child abduction feel like? Alienation from biological family?

Just like there is a stark difference in the story of Preston and Latarian, there is a stark difference in the story of Sean and Vedant.  It is a FACT that while there are international laws on child abduction, there are international laws on child adoption, there are NO international laws on IVF/surrogacy children. Why? Vedant and his IVF sister are both VICTIMS of this indecency and inhumane conditions of infancy in IVF/surrogacy laws. There is NO doubt that in the future there will be international IVF/Surrogacy laws so we can have a consistent and standard way of dealing with such issues. In the interim, why DESTROY and ROB from innocent IVF siblings their childhood? Vedant and his sibling are SEPARATED because they are born through IVF, if they were born naturally, they would be growing up together. Or if a mother had used her egg and with help of a sperm donor and surrogate had IVF children, would the two IVF siblings be SEPARATED?

Latarian is a minority. Vedant being an immigrant AND an IVF child is a minority. Maulik is NOT a donor, he is a father and wants to be treated as a FATHER and NOT a DONOR including EQUAL rights for fathers and their children with NO LEGAL MOTHER. Similar issues exist for gay parents and single male parents. Are we LESS of a parent? Implicitly are OUR children LESS of a child? The lack of laws even if inadvertent is causing this REALITY for us. MOVE FORWARD and UNITE the IVF siblings and SAVE their childhood.

Are the perceptions AGAINST fatherhood the cause for SPLITTING the innocent IVF siblings? Are the perceptions AGAINST IVF and Immigration the cause for SPLITTING the innocent IVF siblings? Social perceptions TRANSLATE into laws, where are the equal LAWS for IVF children and families? Let there be NO doubt that other IVF families are NOT impacted by the lack of laws for IVF children and families. IVF is dealt with secrecy and so lot of people may NOT speak up AGAINST the inequality or injustice.