Test of Time – Change with Truth

It is not 1414 that you can convince someone easily that earth is the center of the universe and everything revolves round the earth. Copernicus was here, Galileo was here. Despite being falsely persecuted repeatedly, they believed in facts and science and eventually were not only proven right but changed the perception of ALL of humanity then and the billions to follow over the centuries. The power of truth has the will and courage to stand the test of time AND usher change.

Its 2014 and maybe you can convince someone that a “mother” is the ONLY primary caregiver for a child. Then how do we explain “mother” for gay parents or should gay parenting be banned? When a gay couple who are two genetic males have a child, they both love the child but only one is a biological parent if it was an IVF child. Do they try to breastfeed the child when there is no milk? If a person has an unfortunate medical event like heart surgery or breast surgery or knee surgery or whatever, it is documented TRUTHFULLY and a doctor’s note is given to avoid certain activities and give time to heal and take some precautions. It may take a few days to few weeks to few months or few years to heal depending on the surgery and its effects. Sometimes its a lifestyle change like for example a heart patient. Or if you break your knee, you can have surgery but you may never be able to play certain sports ever again depending on the medical event. What TRUTH is revealed when an intersex person undergoes an unnecessary surgery deemed “torture” by the UN? If the surgery is documented FRAUDULENTLY as if it never happened, then are there any precautions or “doctor’s note” to avoid certain activities? Like with a broken knee and hormonal therapy which includes severe depression, trauma, irritability, anxiety, tiredness, exhaustion, etc. one should WAIT to have a child? Denying facts is denying rights and justice to others. There are people in this world who believe the Holocaust never happened, then what about justice for the victims if the event never occurred? It is important to accept facts first so everyone can move forward.

Who is a mother?

Is it the woman whose egg was used, or is it the surrogate who carried the child to term or is it the primary caregiver for the child through the tender years? Between two genetic males who is the “mother”? Given certain circumstances, could the traditional role of a “mother” be a father? There are lot of infertile women who are wonderful mothers but were they dealing with intersex surgery and knee surgery and its medical effects? There are lots of adoptive mothers who are wonderful mothers but were they dealing with intersex surgery and knee surgery and its medical effects? There may be lot of intersex people who are good parents but did any of them lie, cheat and fraud subject matter experts like lactation consultant and pediatrician that they were in fact a genetic male and they did not have a “surgical menopause” in their 20s to remove ovaries but it was to remove testes. It may not mean much socially (maybe it does and thats why the secrecy and stigma) but the TRUTH means a lot to an innocent infant who is being starved and cries endlessly when attempted to be breastfed with no milk by a genetic male.

Just like Galileo made a scientific notation that earth is not the center of the universe despite almost a 100% opposition, an intersex person undergoing medical treatment from an unnecessary intersex surgery and a knee surgery needs time to stabilize and cannot be a primary caregiver for the infant for some time. We have to WAIT. So then who raised the infant? Could it be the ONLY other adult in the home – the father? A loving father who waited years to have a child, a loving father who loves children in general, a loving father who was DENIED and forced to lie about his FIRST father’s day because the intersex patient would have a significant “trauma” if the TRUTH were to be revealed about her infertility and being intersex. So do other human beings have human rights or is it a CRIME to be married to an intersex person and one must SUPPRESS their emotions for their own child?

Just because an IVF father did not report the abuse, violence, trauma against him and his IVF child does NOT mean it did not occur. Failure to continue to stay quiet would only create more INNOCENT VICTIMS. The cycle of secrecy, lies, fraud, cheating has to end.

Let us hope we will live in a world where TRUTH is more prevalent. Gays, lesbians, intersex people have equal rights. People who break laws are criminals and people who abuse children or endanger the welfare of the children are criminals. Criminals come in all forms – they can be white, black, Asian, Latino and can be straight, gay, lesbian, intersex. There is NO discrimination in being a criminal, is their discrimination against IVF children and families?

During the baby scoop era, from the 1940s to 1970s, lot of innocent children were forcefully taken away from their biological mothers because they were “single”. Today no one would dare to do that. In fact single motherhood is celebrated and there are specific laws to address that including child support. In the 2000s, IVF parents are discriminated against because of their biology and gender and their IVF kids are taken away from them only because they were born IVF and the laws do not exist to address their facts of being an immigrant IVF family. Innocent IVF children are abandoned with no responsibility or accountability towards the consenting parent for changing their mind and abandoning an innocent child. When will left-behind IVF parents, when will abandoned IVF children, when will split IVF siblings get justice? In 2020? 2030? 2040? never in their lifetime?