Past, Present, Future for Intersex, Immigrant, IVF Families

Living in the past is unhelpful but we all are a sum aggregate of our experiences which is including the past. Living for today is one thing we can be certain of and allows us an opportunity to make a difference. Living for tomorrow is helpful to set goals and is needed as we think about future generations, especially our children and grandchildren. Feeling threatened by laws (or lack thereof) is one thing but to take it out on innocent children is another. Respect all including innocent, voiceless children is the right way forward just like respecting innocent intersex children or innocent IVF children “born out of wedlock”. Let us not create a whole new generation of children under secrecy and lies because we have seen the effects of it as evidenced by SPLIT innocent IVF siblings. Lies and secrecy helps no one, perhaps honesty and compassion has a shot? We have a choice – to be in the PAST (continue to live in silence while creating more victims) or live for the FUTURE (to UNITE and petition the respective authorities for change and updation of laws). The choice we make TODAY is our PRESENT– depending on what action we take. We support efforts to help infertility but do they have to come at the cost of rights of others including innocent IVF siblings, can’t we find better ways?

This is the approach taken when dealing with intersex rights and IVF rights. Neither the past nor the present offer equal rights for intersex or IVF families. Maybe the future will? Will it happen automatically or will people have to speak up? If equal rights existed for intersex or IVF families, perhaps innocent children “born out of wedlock” of an intersex, immigrant, IVF family would not be split up as no one would feel threatened by the anti-intersex and anti-IVF laws.

It is one thing to say to a intersex, immigrant, IVF survivor to stop living in the past without taking the time to understand the crux of the issues which is lack of equal rights. And silence the survivor will not achieve goals; petitioning, education, awareness will. We tried the silence and compassion approach and has helped no one – especially the innocent siblings who have been willfully split up.

Am pretty sure even the intersex, immigrant, infertile person who masterminded this situation doesn’t feel comfortable knowing that others like them who are intersexed, immigrant, infertile legally still cannot achieve what they have. And we hope that everyone joins us in the fight to get equal rights for intersex and IVF rights. That is the right answer. Living in silence or under threats is certainly not the right answer as is evidenced by the split innocent siblings being punished for crimes they did not commit. The past, present, and future is how do we reconcile the situation for innocent children? And if we are unable to, what answers do we provide them? That breaking laws is right to get what you want and showing compassion where laws itself fall short is evil?

Protecting women from getting raped is about changing mindsets and is a collective responsibility. Instead of using a “blame the victim” approach, the question to ask is what can each one of us do to stop this ghastly crime from occurring in the first place? Protecting against racism is also about changing mindsets and is a collective responsibility as evidenced by recent protests across US. Instead of using a “blame the victim” approach, the question to ask is what have you done to stand up against racism? Protecting IVF child from an IVFphile is about changing mindsets and is a collective responsibility. IVF exists to help infertility but do innocent, voiceless children deserve rights too? Instead of using a “blame the victim” approach against the IVF parent and his IVF children “born out of wedlock”, the question to ask is what have you done to help infertility?

Heard a story about how one woman was being given the cat calls, harassed, eave teasing and so on. It had happened several times before. But that day, she decided to take action and enough is enough, she turned around and slapped the man.

Should she have done this the first time it happened to her? Did the same man also harass her previously or was it the first time by this specific person but she had been a victim of lewd approaches several times before by others? Now that she has slapped him, will this treacherous activity stop for the lady meaning will she not get teased, not get those looks? Sadly, no. She feels confident as a person to speak up, take a stand, and if no one else will, she did something rather than continuing to suffer in silence. Why did she decide to speak up now? Because enough is enough.

When an immigrant, IVF father and his IVF children “born out of wedlock” are split after years of silent suffering and abuse, its the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Is it the first time an IVF family has been discriminated? Now that an IVF parent has decided to speak up, does it mean equal IVF rights for both fertile and infertile people will become a reality? Does it mean the innocent, voiceless siblings will be UNITED? When is/How much “enough” is enough?