Not the America I Know

Ask not what your child can do for you, ask what you can do for your child.

If you have ever dealt with infertility, your ultimate goal is to have a child but what are the needs of the child and would you do it at any costs? Regardless of how one has a child – natural birth, adoption, IVF/surrogacy – once the child is born, are all children equal? Do they all deserve their own individual human dignity and respect as a human being regardless of their birth type? Then why do the prevailing laws discriminate? Placing innocent IVF children in legal limbo is wrong. Raising your hands up in the air and behaving like you just don’t care and throwing the book of laws is NOT the right answer. Education, awareness, understanding the issues and moving forward with an appropriate legal framework with equality for all is the right answer. America thrives on innovation and technology, IVF technology is here to stay creating an IVFhood, now do we have the proper legal framework to deal with it in a globalized world? With increasing stressful jobs, LGBTI marriages, infertility and dysfertility are here to stay in 21st century, is it time for equal laws for IVF children and families?

The America I know is compassionate and respects truth. The America I know believes in change. The America I know leads with a clear vision. The America I know sets the standards higher, not lower. The America I know is resilient, powerful and believes in truth, justice and freedom for all.  The America I know abolished slavery, allowed women to vote, allowed civil rights, provides an opportunity for everyone to be who they are and succeed. Will the America we know allow equal rights for IVF children and families?

• Most Americans I know would agree that it is the love and character of a parent which is more important than the biology or gender of a parent in raising a child. Yet the laws are in direct contradiction with this. Is this the America we know and want?
• Most Americans I know also know someone who is gay, lesbian, intersex, trangender and are OK with giving human rights to them. Thats how democracy works, support of majority for the rights of a minority. Yet the laws are in direct contradiction with this social acceptance. Is this the America we know and want?
• Most Americans I know are not familiar with the lack of laws for IVF children and families but once educated and made aware agree that it is wrong to punish innocent IVF children due to lack of laws. Is this the America we know and want?
• There are parents of gays and lesbians who support their children and are allowed to talk freely, why are parents of IVF children silenced and abused for speaking up freely? Is this the America we want and know?
• Most Americans I know have respect for laws and the truth no matter how bitter it is. Yet helping an intersex, immigrant, infertile person for whom basic human rights do not exist is so heinous a crime that they must be split from his IVF child AND worse, his IVF children – who are siblings must be SPLIT. Is it wrong to help a fellow human being where laws itself fall short on respecting their basic human rights to marry, immigrate, and have children? Is this the America we want and know?
• If you are an infertile American, you need to be super rich in order to comply with the laws and have a child within the US. Having a child from outside the US without a biological link is illegal and IVF is NOT affordable by most middle class Americans within the US. So how does an infertile American have a child? Is this the America we know and want?
• In the future, will there be no single parents, gay parents, lesbian parents, intersex parents in America who may not have a biological link with a child but still want to raise and love the child? Where are the laws to support it?

There is a huge gap between social acceptance and the laws to reflect that. Historically every struggle for human rights has experienced the growing pains. In this case, the lack of laws is hurting innocent IVF children and needs to be remedied sooner and not in decades. We hope and pray for the best and cannot rest till the children get protection.