Love and Compassion Cannot Conquer Secrecy and Lies

Love and Compassion are cornerstones in being human, whether its a relationship between lovers or siblings or parent-child or friends or neighbours or states or countries. When our humanity is at stake, everything we have built around it questions our very ethos of humanity especially when the victims are innocent children. Rather than having a ethical OR moral OR legal obligation to respect a fellow human being, the true question is can love and compassion conquer secrecy and lies?

If you are an adult woman who happens to be infertile, do you get compassion and sympathy from the society if not the laws? But if you are an IVF girl child (a future woman), do you get the same compassion and sympathy from the society if not the laws?

If you are a victim of female infanticide, clerly you cannot talk. But what if you are an abandoned IVF girl child, do you have any rights as a human being and as a child?

Take the journey of how convoluted our society is in paying lip service when it comes to human rights and child rights of innocent IVF children and families. It is not about who you know, it is about how you are born is where the discrimination begins. As a society, legally, if not socially, we have conquered discrimination based on race, color, creed, gender, sexual orientation but when it comes to IVF children and families, we have some ways to go. Is IVF the new black, the new gay and the new orange?

IVF is a wonderful medical technology to help infertile or dysfertile people. As everyone knows, it takes three things to make a child scientificaly, sperm, egg and womb. But it takes love and compassion to raise a child. Not just as a parent but as a good human being. Secrecy and lies are NOT in the best interest of any child despite what the “experts” claim. Besides, where is the expert to deal with multiple complexities of intersex, IVF, immigration families?

Some IVF families are honest about their traumatic IVF journey. Some IVF families cherish the IVF children including siblings who are allowed to grow up together as a gift of the father. And some people abuse innocents through IVF and placing innocent lives at risk and in legal limbo. If the laws do not allow for biological father’s name on a birth certificate of an IVF child, shouldn’t one fight for their rights with honesty rather than placing innocent children’s lives at risk? How does the law treat non-biological, intersex parent when it comes to placing their name on an IVF child birth certificate? Adding the complexity that when the IVF child is born outside the US, that IVF child is considered as “child born out of wedlock” meaning is there a marriage or not?

There must be a silver lining to the IVF tragedy and travesty. If non-biological parents deserve equal rights, then government should have laws “in sync” with that philosophy rather than imposing that by SPLITTING innocent IVF siblings. And if non-biological parents have equal rights in raising an IVF child through love and compassion, should they also be held equally accountable and responsible in the welfare of an IVF child if either intended IVF parent abandons the IVF child? Why do we have double standards? Does the innocent child care who abused them? The innocent child cares about love, compassion and justice to get their legal rights.

Rather than pontificate on having equal rights for non-biological parents, one should have laws to reflect that also. And how do you justify actions on one side where a non-biological parent has “equal” rights to a child while on the other side abandoning another non-biological child? Do the innocent children as individuals have any rights or are they human chatal? Do the innocent biological siblings have any rights or do they deserve to be punished for crimes they did not commit? Does the innocent “biological parent” deserve to be punished based on the fact they are “fertile”, OR “immigrant” OR “male” OR any other justifiable discrimination in 2009? The question is NOT whether it is discrimination and abuse, the question is whether the “justifications” of 2009 will stand the test of time? Just like slavery, women suffrage, colonialism, apartheid, civil rights, gay rights, “orange rights”, IVF rights is coming and then these false justifications will be exposed for what they are. Stop pontificating and start caring about real human beings – the innocent children. Love and compassion will conquer the mountain of secrecy and lies because that its power, because thats what makes us human. Let the tsunami of love, compassion and truth be unleashed to wash away the mountains of secrecy, lies, crimes for the sake of innocent IVF children.