To Lie Or To Say the Truth

As a spouse caregiver of intersex or Eunuchs as they are known in India, what is MORE important – TRUTH or lying? Having to raise a little girl with NO mother, people have questions and one has to live in this community with people around them and sooner or later the Questions have to be answered. Or maybe the father had an affair or maybe the father had an illegitimate child. Legally they are right, an IVF child born to a father where neither the egg donor nor the surrogate is the wife of the father is considered a child “born out of wedlock” or an “illegitimate child”. Why is my IVF child illegitimate due to NO FAULT of their own? What are the consequences of being in LEGAL LIMBO? As a loving parent, one vociferously defends the RIGHTS of a child and say the TRUTH. If saying the TRUTH is a crime, so be it. If asking for rights of innocent, voiceless children is a crime, so be it. The challenge is if you were a parent in my shoes, what would you do?

“This was not a crime of greed, this was not a crime of vengeance, but it was an act of selfishness, a crime of selfishness” – said Judge P. Kevin Castel of Federal District Court.

Do we say the TRUTH the child is IVF or do we LIE?

Do we say the TRUTH to get a passport or do we LIE and risk criminal charges?

Does the IVF child deserve a passport or do we LIE and land-lock her?

When laws for short, do we ask for change in LAWS or BREAK the LAWS?

Are siblings IMPORTANT or do they deserve to be separated?

Intersex or Eunuchs have to deal with trauma. A spouse of Eunuch also has to deal with trauma. A spouse of Eunuch also is a victim of abuse, stigma, secrecy, lies, name calling, etc. as much as an Eunuch. There is a lot of hypocrisy in the community, we may not LIKE it but have to deal with the reality and for that one needs to be HONEST with themselves. Then there are people who DO NOT care whether you are Eunuch or NOT, whether you are IVF or NOT, what matters is are you TRUTHFUL and HONEST?

If you truly LOVE someone, a partner, a child, a parent then TRUTH is paramount. One can present FALSE and FRAUD documents to the court and get away with the LIES and CRIMES, how do you LIE and HIDE from a person you LOVE? Maybe you LOVE yourself MORE? Any brainwashing and alienation is short-term and wrecks several lives once TRUTH is revealed. Just ask any intersex child who has been LIED to for years OR a spouse of intersex who has been LIED to for years. Why REPEAT that with an IVF child? 

As Shakespeare pondered, To Be Or Not To Be, That is the Question…

To Say the Truth Or Lie, That is the Question…If Not for yourself then maybe as a lesson to innocent children – the future?