Lance Armstrong Effect on Intersex and IVF

Lance Armstrong said, “I viewed this situation as one big lie that I repeated a lot of times”

The lesson learnt is that TRUTH always prevails regardless of legal suits, blaming others and arrogant denials. The “means” to an end have to be engulfed with TRUTH. Saying a thousand lies to hide one lie is not the answer.

Training hard for cycling to compete is not WRONG, Competing hard to win is NOT WRONG, Winning the ultimate cycling race and test of human endurance is NOT WRONG, lying, cheating and fraud is WRONG.

Being born intersex is NOT WRONG, it is natural, wanting to be married as an intersex person is NOT WRONG, wanting to have CHILD as an infertile, intersex person is NOT WRONG, lying, cheating and fraud is WRONG. There is no lying, cheating, fraud in LOVE. Love is unconditional and selfless.

If there were truth in the intersex and IVF industry, the innocent siblings would be united. If prevailing laws would be followed, the innocent siblings would be united. Uniting the siblings is the objective, save their future and not have a repeat of trauma and abuse upon the innocent children by forcing them to grow up separately. People like Tony Briffa and Imogen Callaway who are honest and making a change in their own ways is the right answer. People like the compassionate egg donor who died and the compassionate surrogate who died due to complications of an IVF child birth deserve justice. They are the true inspirations and we follow their lead. The spouse caregiver gave all the love and family support to an intersex spouse going through SRS unlike Sathya who died due to lack of family support and proper medical support. We do not want more stories like “Sathya” and so education and spreading awareness is key; secrecy and lying is a failed approach. And what happens to people like the spouse caregiver of intersex who tries to help in silence? SPLIT his innocent children? Why victimize children based on their parent’s gender?

The FACT is intersex people still cannot LEGALLY MARRY. The FACT is IVF children are still in “no  man’s land of laws” when it comes to international IVF/surrogacy. Even if Vedant is allowed to grow up separately, will other honest intersex people get EQUAL rights and will other IVF children get EQUAL rights? EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL and especially the minority within minority is a good cause. CHANGE the laws, not BREAK the laws.

Commonalities in Lance Armstrong story and the intersex and IVF story

Oprah: In your opinion, was it humanly possible to win the Tour de France without doping? Seven times in a row?

Armstrong: Not in my opinion.

Comment: It is unprecedented for any human to have a sex reassignment surgery (SRS) DURING a marriage (an extremely traumatic situation) AND be the primary care provider for an INFANT while being on a “COCKTAIL” of drugs. Is there any precedence to compare? This is a 1 in a BILLION case. Between two genetic males, and one undergoing medical treatment, who is the “traditional mother”?

Armstrong :  And I mean that, as I try to take myself out of the situation and I look at it. You overcome the disease, you win the Tour de France seven times. You have a happy marriage, you have children. I mean, it’s just this mythic perfect story, and it wasn’t true.

Comment: Look at it from the intersex person’s point of view. Got married (which is legally not possible) by fraud, overcame the revelation and got SRS DURING a marriage which is unprecedented, a child was born through IVF even though the intersex person is infertile, could not raise the child initially because of personal trauma in recovering from SRS and hormonal treatment, now has kept the child away from his PRIMARY CARE PROVIDER, the child’s only KNOWN biological parent. It is a MYTHICAL PERFECT STORY but not true. Why are the children being made the VICTIMS?

Armstrong :  I will start my answer by saying that this is too late. It’s too late for probably most people, and that’s my fault.

Comment: How many lives have to be ruined with LIES, FRAUD and CHEATING? What is the child’s (Vedant) fault? Why can’t Vedant touch, meet, see his sister? The sibling that Vedant WANTED? Has Vedant ABANDONED his sister? Are children their OWN INDIVIDUALS and have their own human rights? or should we reward LIES, FRAUD, CHEATING and BREAKING the LAWS and send that message to the CHILDREN?

Oprah: Were you a bully?

Armstrong: Yeah, yeah, I was a bully. … I was a bully in the sense that I tried to control the narrative, and if I didn’t like what somebody said, and for whatever reasons in my own head whether I viewed that as somebody being disloyal or a friend turning on you or whatever, I tried to control that. Say that’s a lie, they’re liars.

Comment: Committing fraud and abuse and then forcing silence on an innocent spouse under threats is bullying. When faced with divorce and losing a child, making false and wild accusations, manouevering the legal system, leaving the father for dead to choose between two children and expecting him to defend at the same time his rights, his children’s rights HAS NO WORDS, rather its CONTROLLING the narrative. An infertile person attempts MURDER of other people just to have their child. Making wild and false accusations just to have a child may work in the legal system (guess its more smart than to KILL the father) but IS IT RIGHT FOR THE CHILD? Have the BEST INTERESTS of the CHILDREN been kept in mind?

LET THE CHILDREN WIN, LET THE CHILDREN COME FIRST.

Oprah: What did you tell him? (referring to Lance Armstrong’s son)

Armstrong: First I want to tell you what happened. When this all really started, I saw my son defending me and saying, ‘That’s not true. What you’re saying about my dad is not true.’ And it almost goes to this question of why now? He can’t — yeah. That’s when I knew I had to tell him. And he never asked me. He never said, ‘Dad, is this true?’ He trusted me. And I heard about it in the hallways.

Comment : Breaking the trust of a child you claim to love is the ultimate. As an IVF father the fight is to UNITE the IVF siblings not DIVIDE them for personal and selfish gain. Truth is the only way forward in this long saga of lies, secrecy and fraud. Punish the culprits who committed the FRAUD, why punish the innocent CHILDREN?

Oprah: How is she handling all of this? (referring to Lance Armstrong’s mother)

Armstrong: She’s a wreck. She’s not the type of person that would call me up and say, ‘Lance, I’m a wreck.’ But my stepfather called me and said your mom’s having a really hard time. And I said, ‘I’m sure.’ But she’s a tough lady. She’s gotten through every other tough moment in her life. Just pointing that out there. And we were facetiming with her grandkids and my kids back and forth, and I saw my mom. And I thought, ‘Oh, this woman’s a wreck.’ … And it took seeing her to really understand that this is taking a toll on her life.

Comment : The grandmother in this case is an emotional wreck. There are infants who are raised by grandparents because the mother died at child birth or the mother had a severe medical condition prohibiting her from discharging duties as a traditional mother. There are even grandmothers who act as surrogates for their grandchild in the case of IVF. This is probably the FIRST case where the grandmother was FORCED in a situation to raise an IVF girl child because the “mother” had abandoned her. How do you REACT? It is one thing to SLAP an adult but it is totally different to SLAP someone’s child, an innocent INFANT. What is the FAULT of the innocent grandmother who cannot see her grandson and vice versa? As a grandmother with health issues due to age, she overcame the trauma and showed great strength and love in raising the abandoned infant granddaughter taking a DIRECT HIT on her HEALTH. Why?

Oprah : The truth shall set you free

Comment : In this case, TRUTH is the only way forward. Take a stand as a parent and change the laws rather than break the laws. It is a message which will resonate with the child one claims to love when they grow up as an adult. Take the children’s perspective when they are adults. Why did we have to grow up SEPARATELY as siblings? Because someone chose to lie and was too selfish rather than say the truth and take a STAND for the good of the whole society?

Victims of Intersex and IVF Industry

Intersex is a very traumatic condition, as a spouse caregiver of intersex there is unique qualifications to understand and know that intimately. The FACT is there are MORE intersex people in the world than there are SPOUSE CAREGIVERS of intersex. The parents of intersex aided and abetted the fraud out of love for their biological intersex child, an IVF father is speaking up out of love for his biological children and wants to UNITE them.

This case is FIRST about UNITING the children. It is also about educating and spreading awareness in the IVF and intersex industry that it is NOT OK to LIE and FRAUD in the name of “sensitivity” and it is a CRIME. The medical industry needs to revisit how they deal with intersex and follow the prevailing laws. The medical industry needs to revisit how they deal with IVF and follow the prevailing laws. We need to put the CHILDREN FIRST and give them their own rights AND NOT the rights based on the GENDER of their biological parent. We CANNOT have it both ways – either give GENDER NEUTRAL LAWS or make it ILLEGAL for a male to have a child on his own through IVF. The laws need to “catch up” with the technology or ban the technology just like human cloning is banned. But do NOT punish and hold the innocent IVF CHILDREN HOSTAGE while we as adults are struggling to understand what is the right approach.