IVFphile – A New Criminal

With changing times, there are changing circumstances. As parents, we have new challenges and new areas to protect our kids from. When one sees an innocent, voiceless IVF daughter due to NO FAULT of her own in a LEGAL LIMBO, what do you tell her? In a world where rights of adult are MORE POWERFUL than child’s rights or human rights, how does an innocent, voiceless child ask for her rights? As an IVF parent, the question is how do we move forward NOW? What is the path for relief for victims? There are 7 billion people in this world. Sadly, some are pedophiles who prey on innocent, voiceless children. We have laws to protect the innocent children AND provide a path for relief as victims because of a few bad apples. The pedophiles maybe parents themselves but still commit such atrocious crimes against innocent children. As an IVF parent left with an abandoned IVF child in LEGAL LIMBO, where is the relief for victim? How does one move forward with an improper LEGAL STATUS? Do people in LEGAL LIMBO have rights? We need ANSWERS to our IVF daughter’s questions.

If we can have laws against pedophiles, why can’t we have laws against IVFphiles to protect IVF children? Who is an IVFphile?

IVFphile is a person who commissioned a pregnancy through IVF where they may or may not have a biological link with the child and then abandons the IVF pregnancy midway with no responsibility or accountability for the IVF child and/or the surrogate. The term “biological link” is subjective and is a separate discussion including immigration laws. Suffice it to say, it has double standards as per convenience sake of the adult and NOT the child. Are we as a society saying that as long as you are affluent, one can place “orders” for IVF baby and later when they change their minds and not want the IVF child; the IVF child has NO rights or there is NO accountability or responsibility towards the IVF child or the surrogate or the left-behind family? It spells HORROR life. And that’s what IVFphiles do. When an IVFphile abandons a IVF child domestically, at least the left-behind family have options. When an IVFphile abandons a IVF child internationally, due to immigration laws (or rather lack thereof), the left-behind family may be SPLIT. The IVF child may be STATELESS and in LEGAL LIMBO due to NO FAULT of theirs. Most IVF pregnancies do NOT end this way and IVF parents including non-biological parents go through great sacrifices to ensure the best interest of the IVF child, IVFphiles don’t.

In 2005, a Canadian couple had opted for IVF in India but due to an accident at the IVF clinic in India, the sample got swapped and thus there was a DNA mismatch. As per prevailing immigration laws, the IVF child could NOT immigrate to Canada without a “biological link”. The non-biological IVF parents gave up everything in Canada and moved to India for 6 years and fought for 6 years to have the IVF child legally taken to Canada. It is NOT about the biology, it is about LOVE and TRUTH and while they had 6 horrific years they never planned or imagined, their prayers were answered because they spoke the TRUTH. In the end, what’s right is right and what’s wrong is wrong.

The case for laws for IVFphiles 

1) Any technology can be misused and we MUST have laws to protect and safeguard the innocent and voiceless. In its current infancy of IVF laws, we need to RAISE the bar and get EQUAL laws for IVF children and families. Welcome to the 21st century!

2) In a natural born pregnancy, if a woman is pregnant, she cannot just decide to “abandon” the pregnancy mid-way, the child is physically inside her womb and there are laws that GOVERN abortion. Then why can an IVF parent give up a child with no responsibility or accountability? What about the risk to the surrogate?

3) If a woman is pregnant beyond the second trimester, most countries regulate abortions if the woman no longer wants the child either due to medical complications or otherwise. Should IVF pregnancies also be REGULATED if an IVF parent abandons an IVF pregnancy midway in the second trimester or later? Is the IVF child SAME or EQUAL as a natural born child?

4) If a man abandons a natural born pregnancy, he can still be held accountable and responsible for the child. If a man OR woman who use a surrogate to have an IVF child and then decide to abandon the IVF pregnancy mid-way, should there be ANY legal implications? What about the welfare of the child? What about the welfare of the surrogate? Who will raise the child? Did the IVF child agree to be born? What’s next, human cloning for personal amusement?

5) If a man abandons a pregnant woman mid-way through the pregnancy, the left-behind woman and the child get support and are protected under laws. If a man or woman abandons an IVF pregnancy, what are the laws to protect the welfare of the left-behind parent and IVF child?

6) If a DONOR who signed forms indicating no relationship OR responsibility for an IVF child can be held accountable for child support, why cannot an abandoning commissioning parent for IVF child ALSO be held equally accountable?

The abandoning of an IVF pregnancy is one thing. But the effects of it are where we need LAWS and REGULATIONS in the best interest of the IVF children and families, donors, and surrogates. We have to begin with proper LEGAL STATUS for the IVF child so that they can DEMAND their legal rights. Can we prevent more IVFphiles? Are we protected from IVFphiles even if its just a few bad apples?

Just like pedophiles, IVFphiles may also be parents living amongst us but we may never know the true nature until it is revealed. A parent of a child who has been victimized by a pedophile first protects the child and tries to console them depending on their age if they understand what exactly happened. But certain scars NEVER go away and one can only understand as that victimized child and the parents. A left-behind IVF parent of an IVF child who has been victimized by an IVFphile ALSO first protects the child and tries to console them based on their understanding. But certain scars NEVER go away because every IVF birth is a journey deep with an emotional and financial roller coaster ride and possibly multiple failed attempts.

The difference is victims of pedophiles have a legal recourse with relief for victims, where are the laws to protect innocent, voiceless children and victims from IVFphiles? One can never escape justice especially of the crime against humanity kind. Nazi war criminals were brought to justice decades after the crimes because their crimes were horrific. Is deliberately making an innocent IVF child in a state of legal limbo (and thus denying them basic human rights and legal rights) a crime against humanity from the child’s perspective?