It Takes A Village

“It takes a village to raise a child, in interdependent world” – Hillary Clinton, in her book It Takes A Village.

“This was not a crime of greed, this was not a crime of vengeance, but it was an act of selfishness, a crime of selfishness” – said Judge P. Kevin Castel of Federal District Court.

This is NOT about can an intersex person be a good parent, IT IS ABOUT:

1) A brother’s rights to grow up with his sister he wanted

2) A sister’s rights to NOT be abandoned and forcefully SEPARATED from her brother

3) A fast aging and loving grandmother who raised an innocent IVF child, their first grandson, to see him one last time before she happily passes on to another world

4) A fast aging and loving grandfather who raised an innocent IVF child, their first grandson, to see him one last time before he happily passes on to another world

5) A son’s love for his father who misses him dearly

6) A father who misses his son dearly and the times of lego, swimming, soccer, reading, cycling, eating, dreaming together about a little sibling among other things.

7) It is about the basic human rights and child rights of an innocent, voiceless IVF child to roam freely anywhere in the world for exposure, education and self-empowerment.

8) Should Vedant be afforded his VILLAGE?

Nothing reminds us more for EQUAL IVF CHILD RIGHTS when Medhavi lovingly feeds her little brother, is fascinated with his eyes, how the teeth are still coming, walks on four legs with him, sleeps together holding hands, helps him bathe, hugs, kisses, love, and so on…Why should these opportunities be STOLEN from VEDANT? 

It is NOT about GREATNESS, it is about fighting for TRUTH and EQUAL RIGHTS for others and yourself. When Maulik discovered his spouse was intersex at a fertility test to have a child, he did not deter. When the spouse decided to have a controversial “normalization surgery” during marriage which UN has called for a STOP, Maulik did not deter but went into the UNKNOWN and cared for the spouse in silence rather than leave like 83% of males do when a spouse is diagnosed with a major illness. When faced with infertility, as a bi-national immigrant to the US, Maulik did not deter, and had a child through IVF in India while living as immigrant in the US and thus US immigration laws kick in. Unfair, Unreasonable, Undeserved are all too common to Maulik in a dysfunctional intersex family but why are IVF SIBLINGS being punished by being FORCED to grow up SEPARATELY? Maulik suffered in silence and did not report the abuse, so punish him for not reporting the crimes and showing compassion, why PUNISH the innocent IVF brother and sister?

Lessons Learnt

1) Opting for IVF is personal, EQUAL IVF CHILD RIGHTS is a public policy issue and can only be had by speaking up.

2) Awarding EQUAL RIGHTS to intersex in silence where the LAWS fall short can be USED AGAINST you. Silence is golden but at what point silence becomes abuse, victimization and violation of others rights? Is SILENCE = VIOLENCE?

3) If an intersex person has custody of an IVF child, is it LEGAL or where any LAWS broken? Can it be REPEATED by another intersex person without lying or breaking any LAWS? What about equal rights for other intersex people?

4) If gay rights existed, the IVF siblings would be UNITED. Is it their FAULT to be born ahead of our times?

5) If gay rights existed, fathers would be seen as EQUAL LOVING PARENTS, is it Maulik’s FAULT to try to UNITE his IVF children?

6) If TRUTH were used in treating intersex during marriage, a controversial normalization surgery would have NEVER occurred as UN Special Rappoteur on Torture (SRT) recently released a statement to STOP such surgeries. It is interesting that “Torture” team took up this issue as a violation of human rights issue. What about violation of human rights of an intersex family including children because of this controversial surgery during a marriage?

7) Since the controversial “normalization surgery” NEVER occurred during a marriage, how can we discuss effects of “normalization surgery” in an intersex person and how long it takes to stabilize to become a primary care provider for a child? As per a recent UN Special Rapporteur on Torture statement, they asked for a STOP to such normalization surgery, something we have asked for several years based on first-hand experience.

8) People like Tony Briffa and Imogen Callaway are the leaders when it comes to intersex advocacy because of their honesty. We support EQUAL INTERSEX RIGHTS both morally and in action (as proven) as long as TRUTH and SENSITIVITY take the lead.

Sadly, there are narcissistic women as told by other women who will do anything.

“A child belongs with his [biological] family” – then US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said on why Sean Goldman, a US Citizen child, should be UNITED with his father in the US. The same reason why Sean deserved to be UNITED with his father, Vedant, an Indian citizen, deserves to be UNITED with his father and sister and grandparents and family and cousins and TRUTH – his VILLAGE.