It Could Have Been Me – US President Obama

US President Obama: Trayvon Martin Could Have Been Me

Not to distract from the case but instead to “take lessons” from it for other minorities dealing with infertility or dysfertility. It is about ACCEPTING our realities of today, so we can move forward with a solution for tomorrow.

1) “When Trayvon Martin was first shot, I said that this could have been my son. Another way of saying that is, Trayvon Martin could have been me 35 years ago,” Obama said.

Vedant was separated from his IVF father and only known biological parent because of his father’s gender, a male. When Vedant is 35 years, ALSO a MALE like his father, and if he wants to become an IVF father, will he have EQUAL rights to love and enjoy with his IVF child?

Just like there is “soul searching” to do in race relations, there is “soul searching” to do in “parenting laws” AND true meaning of “best interest of the child”. 

“Become the change you want to see in this world.” – Mahatma Gandhi

2) “I think it’s important to recognize that the African-American community is looking at this issue through a set of experiences and a history that doesn’t go away,” Obama said. “There are very few African-American men in this country who haven’t had the experience of being followed when they were shopping in a department store. That includes me.”

Fathers are DEMONIZED and ALIENATED from their innocent children and this stereotype is USED against them and the children. It is important to recognize the issue of alienated fathers through a set of experiences and a history that doesn’t go away. There are very few ALIENATED children who have not experienced ABUSE at the hands of the ALIENATING parent even though somehow we justify it and NOT take any action against the ABUSIVE parent.

There is NO words to feel or describe the pain of being ALIENATED from your child, NOT even an apology from the government – just ask the mothers AND children from the baby scoop era.

What is alienation DOING to the innocent children?

3) He went on to recount instances when he had heard “the locks click on the doors of cars” as he walked down the street. African-American men are used to getting into an elevator and seeing a fellow passenger “clutching her purse nervously and holding her breath until she had a chance to get off,” he said. “I don’t want to exaggerate this, but those sets of experiences inform how the African-American community interprets what happened one night in Florida,” Obama said. “And it’s inescapable for people to bring those experiences to bear.”

If a woman had used her egg and with help of a sperm donor and surrogate to conceive IVF children, would the SIBLINGS be SEPARATED because of their parent’s GENDER? If a lesbian couple had an IVF child, would the immigration laws affect them adversely in 2009? If a gay couple or an intersex couple had an IVF child in 2009, are the immigration laws the SAME for them? No need to exaggerate this point, but the innocent IVF brother and sister are SEPARATED because of their biological parent’s GENDER and it’s inescapable for fathers to bring these experiences to bear regardless whether you are single father, gay father, intersex father, straight father.

Why FORCE innocent IVF brother and sister to grow up separately? Is it their “fault” to be born IVF? The lack of laws even if inadvertent are resulting in that REALITY.

Rosa Parks was TIRED of racism and she took a stand. A spouse caregiver of intersex was first LIED and CHEATED into a fraud marriage and now his IVF children are being LIED and CHEATED out of their innocent childhoods together. Sometimes we all need a SPARK like Ms. Parks in our lives to have the courage and strength to stand up against wrong and let TRUTH prevail even though it may not be “acceptable” at the time.

4) More generally, Obama lent support to the idea of creating a coalition — of business leaders, elected officials, celebrities, athletes — to address the need for African-American men to feel that they are “a full part of this society.”

IVF fathers regardless of sexual orientation also want to be a “full part of this society” and a “full part of their IVF child’s life”.

Will it take a powerful business leader, a celebrity, athlete, elected official to HIGHLIGHT the issues of IVF children and families? Or intersex families?

5) “If we’re sending a message as a society in our communities that someone who is armed potentially has the right to use those firearms, even if there’s a way for them to exit from a situation, is that really going to be contributing to the kind of peace and security and order that we’d like to see?” asked Obama.

If we are saying that if an intersex and infertile person can fraud unsuspecting, innocent victims, commit marriage fraud marriage, commit immigration fraud, abuse the spouse and child, abandon an IVF child making them STATELESS and placing them in a LEGAL LIMBO, and refuse the two siblings to meet and HAVE NO LEGAL REPURCUSIONS for the secrecy, lying and flagrant violations of multiple laws, is that the kind of society we want for our children? To teach them to lie and violate others’ rights? Instead isn’t it better to be someone like Edie Windosr and FIGHT for your RIGHTS and all others in the process? Or be like Tony Briffa and say the TRUTH and EARN the respect? Or be like Ms. Schulz, an openly MRKH woman inspiring others to be strong and have courage to say the TRUTH. Isn’t it better to live freely with truth than in secrecy and violating laws?

Intersex is a naturally occurring condition meaning more intersex children will be born. Do we want to raise them as a society with truth and respect or secrecy and lies?

Regardless of which side of the debate you are in – pro-life or pro-choice, pro-IVF or natural born children only, pro-LGBTI (Lesbian, Gay, Biexual, Transgender, Intersex) or against, pro-IVF or adoption or remain childless, and so many other variations. The FACT is the IVF child is BORN, now what, do they deserve EQUAL rights as HUMANS or not?

6) “I just ask people to consider if Trayvon Martin was of age and armed, could he have stood his ground on that sidewalk? And do we actually think that he would have been justified in shooting Mr. Zimmerman, who had followed him in a car, because he felt threatened? And if the answer to that question is at least ambiguous, it seems to me that we might want to examine those kinds of laws,” he added.

There was every INTENT to provide a sibling and it was a joint consent to have a second IVF child. If its a crime to ABANDON a natural born child, why is it NOT a crime to abandon an IVF child? Are the needs and rights of an IVF child LESS? What if there was NO second IVF child on the way, could Maulik have ENJOYED watching his IVF son grow up? What if the second IVF child had been declared in the US divorce filing and been ALLOWED to enter the US in 2009 and that way Maulik was NOT SPLIT into raising one child over the other. If there was no IVF Holocaust and if BOTH IVF children were in the US, could Maulik have defended himself and presented the FACTS to the court due to NO mitigating circumstances? Is this a case of fait accompli? Has the “best interest of the children” been honored?

If the answer is at least ambiguous, it seems that we ought to examine non-existence of laws for IVF children and families, intersex families.

Let us HOPE that we do NOT have to wait till 2039 (when Vedant turns 35) to get EQUAL rights for IVF children and families. I have faith our society can do better. In 2013, the US Supreme Court allowed gay marriage and federal benefits like immigration for gay families was allowed. If these laws existed in 2009, would Maulik have been able to UNITE his IVF children and NOT be separated?

What is it like living as an African American and LGBT in the US in 2013? What is it like living as an immigrant and IVF parent in the US? The answer to the latter is you live in EXILE outside the US because your IVF child is NOT welcome to the US or an IVF parent after all the struggles of infertility or dysfertility can ABANDON or give up the IVF child for ADOPTION outside the US and live a luxurious life in the US without their IVF child. What are the rights of the IVF child?

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.