Inspired by Dale Henson, IVF is here to Stay, where are the equal rights for IVF children and families?

Recently, Dallas TV reporter made one point clear that it is important to be on the right side of history and given time, things will change with greater social acceptance. We need to speak TODAY with our eye on the FUTURE. In the meantime, innocent victims are being created. In 2014, a gay man coming out in NFL is “news”, will it be news in 5-10-200 years from now? More importantly, does he have equal rights? What are the rights of an immigrant IVF father and his IVF children in 2014? When will it be socially acceptable to have loving IVF fathers and not PUNISH their innocent IVF children for being born to a male?

An IVF father spends sleepless nights in US because of anxiety and calling to India to know the status of his IVF child in a surrogate’s womb in India but his “love” is “less”.

An IVF father travels across the globe multiple times to have lovely IVF children but thats not “enough” of a sacrifice and love to have equal laws.

An IVF father is denied his joy and celebration on birth of his first child 3 days before father’s day because an infertile person must not be “outed”. The feelings of an overjoyed IVF father who spent endless months of sleepless nights are LESS than the emotions of an infertile person wanting to keep everything secret. Isn’t the point to love and celebrate the child more important than a secretive, lying adult?

What happens when an immigrant IVF father tries to give human rights to a person where laws itself fall short? Are his and his IVF children’s rights protected also? Is it OK to cannibalize human rights of others to achieve your own or is it a greater good to petition for change in laws rather than break the laws?

If we can break laws for intersex, immigrant, infertile adults today, is it still a crime and will it always remain a crime to abandon an innocent, voiceless IVF child with no responsibility and/or accountability? Get on the right side of history.

An IVF father cares for his IVF child (primary caregiver) because his spouse is undergoing medical treatment but thats not “enough” of a sacrifice love to have equal laws.

Who is the “mother” or the question is who is the “primary caregiver” who shares a close bond with the child meaning what does the child want? Is the “mother” the egg donor with the genetic link or the surrogate who carried the child during the pregnancy or is it the primary caregiver through his tender years? What is the child’s “mother tongue” – the language any child learns to speak first based on their proximity and bond with their primary caregiver.

An IVF father changes his job so that he can spend more time with his IVF child while raising him but thats not “enough” of a sacrifice and love to have equal laws.

An IVF father changes diapers, feeds the child, does not abuse the child by wanting to breastfeed or shaking or snapping at him, puts him to sleep, singing home made lullabies on how the IVF father waited half a world away for his IVF child to arrive but thats not “enough” of “love” to have equal laws.

An IVF father takes the IVF child to golf days or library days or zoo days or museum days or play dates but thats not “enough” of “love” to have equal laws.

An IVF father wants to provide his child his wish, a SIBLING – again through IVF but thats not “enough” of “love” and both the IVF father and the innocent IVF child should be DENIED the love of another child/sibling. It must be a heinous crime for an IVF father to want to provide a sibling for his IVF child. Get on the right side of history.

An IVF father is placed in a Sophie’s Choice predicament in the Nazi times, pick one child over the other. Is any parent’s love divided among their children or is it shared? But thats not “enough” of “love” to have equal laws.

A gay father can tell the truth to his daughter but an IVF father cannot tell the truth to his IVF child lest an infertile person’s rights be offended. Do other people have rights including innocent IVF children?

A gay immigrant cannot bring his child born outside the US through IVF, neither can an intersex immigrant IVF father. Equality.

It is a crime to forcefully breastfeed infants by males due to lack of milk but the infant has no rights and deserves to be abused.

It is a crime to abandon a child but not when it is an international IVF child – maybe their lives are not as precious, is that what the IVF brother will think  about his IVF sister he wanted – get on the right side of history.

It is a crime to suppress facts to the court, lie to the court, perjury, filing false cases, but that’s OK because the rights of a secretive, lying adult are more CRITICAL than the rights of innocent, voiceless IVF children.

US laws require a “genetic link” between a US parent and child born outside the US but that’s OK, we will just steal a child “legally” from a loving IVF father much like the “baby scoop era” and give the child to a non-genetic parent instead of changing the laws. How about getting on the right side of history?

Can one achieve human rights by cannibalizing the human rights of others? What are the rights of an intersex spouse caregiver who is frauded, lied, abused? What are the rights of immigrant, IVF fathers? More importantly, what are the rights of IVF siblings of an immigrant, IVF father?

Do current US laws which are anti-IVF create situations like Sandy Hatte, Ann Pettway where women are forced to steal, lie, fraud, cheat children from other people? More importantly, what are the rights of the child? Do they deserve to live freely? Do they deserve to grow up lovingly and carefree? Do they deserve to grow up with siblings? Do they deserve to learn to be compassionate and loving and if you follow your heart, one cannot go wrong despite the unequal laws?

Instead of saying a thousand lies to hide one lie, how about just getting on the right side of history and providing equal rights for IVF children and families. It is inevitable. Do it now while we can still save innocent childhoods rather than apologies later.