BPO Vs. BFO – Why not equal humane treatment?

We start with perspective of children:

11 year old brother is crazy about Star Wars and wants his little sister to also like Star Wars. His biological sister, an innocent 6 year old has been allowed to meet him once but both have been bonding over Skype cares more about dolls and anything pink or purple.

Brother : Star Wars is the best movie ever. You will the movies (proceeds to share all the toys, information, etc).

Sister : Do they have dolls in Star Wars and is there a girl “captain”?

Brother : There is princess Leia and shares a figurine. You like Star Wars now?

Sister : Maybe there is a star called “wars” and that’s why its called Star Wars. Maybe they should have a star called “Peace” and then it would be called Star Peace.

And what reason if any is there to continue to divide these innocent biological siblings? Can they teach us MORE than what we can teach them? Read on….

BPO Vs. BFO – Both have issues, how do we move forward with a working solution? Some people, companies in the west use Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) to get projects/work done by outsourcing it to countries like India. There have been issues with this model and we will let experts figure out what works and what doesn’t with BPO?

Some people in the west use Building Families Openly (BFO) without borders to build families differently by doing surrogacy to countries like India. There are several good and bad issues with this but where is the HELP from authorities (both in the west and countries where innocent IVF/Surrogacy child is born) when some innocent children and women are exploited by a mal-intended adult?

As was mentioned at the #OscarSoWhite, there is sorority racism meaning children like us exist but not enough to be counted or treated equally, why? We have faith that some person in position of authority to act and do the right thing for dividing families because exploiting innocent children and women is nothing short of barbaric and heinous. For the same reasons Ariel Castro and Ann Pettway were wrong for hurting others’ children, it is wrong to exploit innocent voiceless children like us.  For we are someone’s child too who loves us and cares for us. We celebrated International Women’s Day on March 8, I am an “international IVF/Surrogacy girl child”, what are my rights?

If there are laws in the US for products made abroad to be free of child and forced labor due to BPO, where are the laws to protect “real human lives” of innocent IVF/Surrogacy children made stateless also made abroad via BFO (if it feels offensive to read human lives described as “product”, imagine what it means to live it)? I am very much wanted and loved. Do their child rights and human rights count? Do we close this loophole so rogue malintent adults cannot hurt, abuse and exploit children for a selfish benefit and Spare the Child OR do we continue to hurt and insult the innocent child in blame the victim approach?

Recently, the US passed a law to ban import of products from abroad when they are made which violates US standards of child labor and forced labor. If “products from abroad” (BPO) can be protected in best interest of child rights and human rights, why can’t we ALSO protect IVF/Surrogacy children “made abroad” (BFO) by Americans who never show up resulting in a barbaric nightmare of legal limbo for an innocent child? Are we as Americans better than that and ready to lead by example in this subject area? For a child is a child, right?

A few years ago, the US government passed the Girls Count Act which provides funds to countries abroad to ensure new borns (initially girls and later boys also) are properly registered with a valid birth certificate. Has the same “spirit of the laws” been followed for “IVF/Surrogacy children” born abroad? Because everyone recognizes the “power of a birth certificate” when that is missing or is invalid – it can have severe legal implications on the welfare of an innocent child and their right to have access to education, healthcare, freedom, life in general.

Due to no fault of theirs, some adults are born infertile and are childless due to forces of nature,

Due to no fault of theirs, some innocent children born via IVF/Surrogacy are made stateless refugees and denied basic rights as a child due to forces of humans.

When fear exists, do we succumb to lies OR have trust and faith in doing the right thing with an eye on the future – the innocent children? Yes, life is not fair but do we teach our children tolerance, humanity and inclusiveness or do we teach hypocrisy, exploiting innocent children and women, bigotry and bullying?

Its offensive enough to be deemed “child born out of wedlock” simply for being born via IVF/Surrogacy but then to actually have this archaic laws used inconsistently against innocent children and siblings to split them and deny them rights is cruel, bigotry and bullying of 21st century. One does wonder how an infertile couple or gay couple or intersex couple have a “child of marriage” given current laws? By lying? By disrespecting single fathers, gay fathers, intersex fathers, loving fathers, non-genetic parents, we are ALSO disrespecting and denying rights of INNOCENT CHILDREN. The laws have not caught up with technology, if not in the best interest of the “loving parent”, is it time to do the “right thing” in best interest of the innocent child? Hold “loving parents” equally accountable and responsible.

We recognize immigrant, intersex, infertile adults are lacking reproductive rights and did our best to help as humans with humility and in silence, does that mean innocent children born of such relationships via IVF/Surrogacy can be exploited due to the same lack of rights? Who holds the western consenting parent responsible and accountable for a child they consented to but didn’t show up? It is one thing to say we don’t have laws or laws were broken to give reproductive rights to an adult but we still have LIVE humans, innocent children that we MUST deal with as a humanity – can we consciously as a civilized society give such answers to the stateless refugee children stuck in legal limbo due to no fault of their own other than to be born via IVF/Surrogacy and some selfish adult, a few bad apple, decided to abuse and exploit the voiceless victims.

Is it more important to be right or to do the “right thing”? Here is a “joke:”

Its circa 1800. A black slave decides they have had enough with slavery and want freedom as a human being. They approach the “court of law” who denies them freedom because in circa 1800 slavery is the law. Perhaps, the “law” even suggest to change the “color of the skin” and “comply with the laws”. Does that mean the “slave” was wrong? Or the “laws” were archaic?

So is it wrong to ask for freedom for a stateless refugee IVF/Surrogacy child and the rights denied due to it? or are the laws archaic in 2016? And worse, the duplicity is used AGAINST biological IVF/Surrogacy children and siblings to DIVIDE families and DENY their rights. For the record, this is NOT funny and is NOT a joke especially for the innocent voiceless victims continuing to suffer and be exploited.

Who gets spared?

• The minority of infertile adult OR The minority within minority of IVF/Surrogacy child?
• Do we spare the truth or lies?
• Do we spare the adult or child?
• IVF/Surrogacy is first and foremost about compassion and humanity, dealing with sensitive subject like IVF/Surrogacy with NO humanity or compassion even in absence of laws is offending and disrespecting the entire process of IVF/Surrogacy.

Bullying and bigotry against an innocent child is OK?

I am a girl child born via IVF/Surrogacy in India made a stateless refugee by an American parent who placed an “order” but never showed up (if it is offensive to read this, imagine what it feels to live it?). Am I “bait”, “blackmail” or a real human being with real individual rights and at least the basic human decency and respect if not equal rights. Here are the words and actions which led to my life as a stateless refugee before even being born after 5 failed IVF attempts over 3 years. And yes, I am very much wanted and loved.

1. “I never made any child custody claim for her, Medhavi” given to the court.

2) Also, a divorce was filed in the US with NO mention of me which started a series of domino effects of legal limbo for me.

3) NEVER came to India when I was born to help with my legalization and get a legal identity with which I can travel to the US.

4) My “genetic parent” in the US was under NO legal obligation to come to India as they did NOT sign the contract with the compassionate surrogate who gave birth to me. The 60 year old grandmother who did sign my surrogacy contract and wanting me in case of separation also did NOT show at my birth. Exactly, how else does one ABANDON an IVF/Surrogacy child and endanger my welfare by making me stateless refugee and neglecting me a child?

5) Less than 2 months after my birth, the grandmother married her other daughter lavishly by abandoning me a girl child mercilessly. Am I not someone’s daughter too? Is this how daughters are treated in a family?

6) The consenting American parent who never came to India at my birth to help me legalize due to their infertility and lack of reproductive rights did buy a BMW less than a month after my birth. No harm in enjoying a nice, luxurious car like BMW but is that how one shows remorse or grief of losing a child like me which they claim they “desperately wanted” OR is it a sign of celebration for something else? No wishes, no card, no phone call, no hugs, no kisses, no onesies, nothing as if I DON’T EXIST. Besides family, “non-genetic” related humans and even strangers did more for me! But where was the person due to whose infertility I was born?

Why should I have to be punished, made stateless, deal with legal limbo because they CHANGED their minds? Or was it intentional to leave me in legal limbo,exploit me as bait and blackmail to force our loving parent, the “genetic parent” to come running to India and thus the facts in US court are suppressed and we are separated from our biological sibling? Is this brilliant legal strategy albeit INHUMANE and BARBARIC the new way to have a child at any cost by exploiting innocent children and women and innocent helpless, defenseless biological parent much like the “baby scoop era” OR a nurse stealing a child from a hospital from a helpless, defenseless biological parent?

Are there weaponless crimes with voiceless victims and do they deserve any justice/rights or at least have a voice OR is will their voice be suppressed and justice be denied? The first step in dealing with infertility is COMPASSION of a fellow human. There will NEVER be laws which will force another human to help an infertile person, are there laws where it’s OK to exploit innocent children and women

If other instances are crimes, why is neglecting a child, endangering the welfare of a child, abandoning a child like ME not a crime OR am I not a child? or am I somehow less valuable? I am HAPPY our loving parent did NOT think so. Just like he helped an intersex, infertile, immigrant child before, he also helped an IVF/Surrogacy child like me and dealing with multiple very complicated SOCIAL and LEGAL taboo issues even in 2000s kinda like getting thrown back to the stone age of slavery, circa 1800 or the Salem witch hunt.

If its a mistake or accident, they say the bigger person is one who has the courage to admit it and not roam around luxuriously and freely in America with impunity while exploiting innocent children and women in India left languishing and stateless refugee devoid of freedom. We believe America gives and protects freedom, its just matter of time till a person in power sees the heinous and barbaric crime against my humanity and ACT.

Where are MY rights? Why can I NOT see our brother? Why are we NOT a family deserving to be UNITED rather than DIVIDED? Are we NOT a family? What will our brother feel once he is old enough to understand the TRUTH and having been forced to MISS out on all these years?

America is a leader in child rights and human rights and its more important to do the “right thing” than be right. We want an “inclusive approach” where both infertile or dysfertile adults AND rights of IVF/Surrogacy children can co-exist. Is building families differently WRONG?

Decades ago there was state sponsored legalization of forcing helpless, defenseless single biological mothers to take their children and give them to rich infertile parents later deemed as baby scoop era. Governments have later apologized but never have been able to restore the innocent time lost in childhoods. How is this different?

BPO is coming back as some companies are bringing the business and jobs back to the west. Is it time to be “inclusive” of BFO or do we continue to lie and use strategies of secrecy, deception to use against innocent children like me? If my surrogacy were done in the US instead of India, would this “legal trick” have been valid or would the consenting adult who didn’t show up be held responsible and accountable for me?