Attitudinal Change Holds Answers

“Be the change you want to see in this world” – Mahatma Gandhi

Change is constant. Resistance to change is also constant. Especially, when one thinks about social justice issues like slavery, women suffrage, civil rights, and now gay rights, there is a lot of resistance to change. In all cases, we see that eventually change does occur sometimes at the cost of lives of people proposing change. How dare someone propose us to change? They must be quietened up. Lives can be shattered in multiple ways, oppression, abuse, violence, lack of basic freedoms, torture, and the ultimate, death – either a suicide or murder. As humans, we realize that change is something ingrained in us. It is our thirst for challenges, innovation, knowledge that brings change. So change is never going away. What we may work on instead is to reduce the resistance to change. For which education and spreading awareness about the subject is key. That is the attitudinal change – the willingness to LISTEN to issues facing OTHERS and not necessarily you.

The Intersex Theory

Most people are still clueless about existence of intersex. Slowly in the past few years, advocacy for intersex rights and its existence has started and questions are being asked. Does the medical community have the “right approach?” Who are the intersex? What is its occurrence? It is naturally occuring meaning it is not in the person’s control. In a way, it reminds me of the way HIV/AIDS was first dealt with in the 1980s – taboo and ignorance. Once people got educated and had true information, slowly the change started happening. Then a few celebrities started speaking up and that set the tidal wave. Currently, the intersex theory only includes treatment for intersex patient and their parents. The spouse or children of an intersex family are NOWHERE in the picture. Is it because intersex marriage is NOT legal yet? If spouses of breast cancer or leukemia or other traumatic conditions are allowed to speak up, then why not spouses of intersex? Or is it a crime to be married to an intersex person and forever hold your breath even if it means suffering abuse and reckless violation of laws? If an unnecessary surgery on an intersex child is ILLEGAL, what is it to render an IVF child stateless? If it is torture to secretly lie about unnecessary surgery on an intersex child, what is it to lie to an IVF child about their birth? And are secrecy and lies a solution? There are women with MRKH but they do not lie and are accepting of their truth. In fact, in the Miss USA pageant for 2013, a MRKH woman competed and almost won. She is a lady not because of MRKH but because of her courage and strength to be honest and truthful acting as an inspiration to us all – with and without MRKH. There are intersex people who are honest and truthful about their condition. There is more RESPECT not because they are intersex but again because they have strength and courage to be honest and serve as an inspiration to us all. These “truths” also serve as a “gauge” to the change and acceptance in our society as a whole. We are not anti-intersex, let our actions speak for themselves. We are ANTI-LYING and ANTI-ABUSE of innocent, voiceless children and PRO for RESPECTING the laws. We want RELIEF as VICTIMS.

Justice Vs Relief for Victims

Is there a difference between justice Vs relief for victims? For example, the thousands of refugees who have been displaced from the war in Iraq or Rwanda or Lybia or Syria or Afghanistan and so on and some are rendered stateless. Is justice for them to be able to file a “legal suit” against someone in their resident country for their situation? OR are they just looking for RELIEF to be able to get a “legal status” so they can go about their lives and try to forget the past as much as possible? We want to move FORWARD – we just want to be able to see our IVF son, have an opportunity to participate in his day to day life, enjoy the moments together, playing catch, or making lego puzzles or looking up at the sky and wondering what do all those stars mean sprinkled with an appropriate amount of hugs and kisses and celebrate the moments. Why is my IVF son being DISALLOWED this opportunity with his father, with his sibling that he wanted, with his biological family? What crime has he committed to be DENIED to be with his biological family and what are his rights?