Anti-Lying – Lesson of Life

Lot of people get me wrong sometimes and maybe because there are a multitude of issues in just one case. It is NOT about being anti-women or anti-intersex or anti-infertile or anti-anyone, it is about ANTI-LYING. Especially when it comes to lying to innocent, voiceless children. For decades the medical community LIED to intersex children and their parents. What good came out of it? NOTHING good came out from lying to intersex children. And NOW, people want to LIE to IVF children thinking that somehow these LIES will be OK? NO, read it front and center, lying involving breaking the laws in any way especially to kids is WRONG. It is one thing to lie to them about what time it is or that we ran out of icecream but totally different to USE a systematic system of lying. For example, if a parent sexually abuses their child and then teaches them to LIE, is that right? Or if a parent abuses their child and then forces them into silence, is that right? Or if a parent brainwashes and alienates the child from another parent, is that right? Or if an infertile person desperate to have a child breaks the laws and alienates an IVF child from his only known biological family and refuses interaction with them, is that right? Even open adoptions are better.

LIES and REPEATED LIES

This case is FAR left of the left. Or it is FAR right of the right. The arguments can be presented in either way. What CANNOT be argued is that its a case FULL Of LIES and they have caught up. And the only way to move forward is TRUTH. Using LIES to cheat and fraud a spouse is one thing, but to REPEAT the lies to cheat and fraud childhoods out of children is totally different. Even in an open adoption, the biological parent gets to participate with the child along with the non-biological parents. Because there is TRUTH and TRUST between all. In a case where there are LIES, LIES, and MORE LIES, the child is ALIENATED from his biological parent and siblings because the non-biological parent feels threatened that the LIES may actually be revealed. It is ironical that an intersex adult somehow thinks LIES are the solution. After all, intersex people can understand the effects of lying and why would they want to REPEAT the LIES on a child again?

There are the standard LIES where spouses blame each other, have a BIG divorce and huge child custody issues including parental alienation and child abuse. But if your spouse broke the law and committed crimes, are you obliged to report them? If your spouse murdered someone, would you report it or would it be construed as “defamation”? If your spouse abandoned a child, would you report it to get RIGHTS of the child? If your spouse made someone STATELESS and placed them in a LEGAL LIMBO, would you report it? If your spouse broke laws, would you report it? If your spouse….the list is endless because the list of LIES and breaking of the laws is endless.

Someone with Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (CAIS) is born with it meaning its natural and NOT in their control. However, LYING about CAIS is in their control. People with CAIS will continue to be born and will be born with male testes. Even if we LIE and claim they have ovaries like fraud medical documents, nature will NOT change. The FACTS remain constant. The question is should we LIE to CAIS children or should we tell the TRUTH and encourage them to tell the TRUTH? By empowering them with the TRUTH, they may even be willing to fight for equal intersex rights – a great role model for the children. Wouldn’t TRUTH be better for them to have good, lasting relationships because any relationship built on a foundation of LIES is bound to crumble. And when it crumbles, there may be collateral damage like innocent and voiceless children, grandparents, siblings, unsuspecting spouses.

Can you imagine if a straight guy who loves children and all he wants from his spouse is TRUTH and LOVE and is willing to be a caregiver and an equal partner in parenting, what his and his children’s life could have been with a person who says the TRUTH? Any LOVE based on a foundation of LIES is NOT LOVE. We all have secrets, but to have secrets which breaks the laws is NOT LOVE. Its fraud, its crime. We can all accept it is traumatic but LYING is NOT the answer.

It is NOT about being intersex or gay or lesbian or straight or IVF, it is about saying the TRUTH – thats what LOVE and COMPASSION is about. So are you ANTI-LYING or PRO-TRUTH? Its a rheotorical question.