A Thousand Lies Punishes Innocent Children

There are all kinds of innocent children who get punished for no fault of their own. And parents of each of those innocent children demand for equal rights. The “punishment” comes due to lack of laws and no relief for victims and in this case it is innocent children. Education and awareness are key to achieving those very same equal rights which requires stating the facts and the truth. Saying a thousand lies to hide one lie only creates more victims and provides no solution for the future. Let us learn from our mistakes and stop the strategy of secrecy and lies at the cost of innocent children. Secrecy and lies breed complexity, live simple with truth and compassion. The challenge is to accept the facts and move forward. Embrace change. Can you and the government do that by passing equal laws?

“It’s very nice to be right sometimes.” – said Professor Higgs, winner of Nobel Prize in 2013 for the Higgs Boson Particle for something he discovered over 40 years ago…it took a while to prove him right.

It is true that there are innocent children who may have autism or cystic fibrosis or Down’s Syndrome or other medical conditions. As parents we help our child the best we can and in areas where we need assistance from the government, we petition for laws. That is why we are petitioning for laws for IVF children, petitioning for laws for intersex.

What crime has a lovely four year old committed that she should be land-locked and made stateless? What other crimes have been committed? If you have the guts, look in her pretty eyes and then respond.

• Infertility is very traumatic. IVF helps alleviate some of that pain by giving the gift of life – a lovely IVF child. Does the IVF child have any rights – the so called “gift”?
• There are women who abandon a child at birth due to various personal circumstances and reasons. While some women are forced to give up their children at birth like during the “baby scoop era“. By acknowledging the facts and the truth, today we have “safe haven” laws where women can safely leave their child without any repurcusions and the best interest of the child is served. Today we also truth and reconciliation commissions who are bringing some “level of justice” to the victims of the “baby scoop era”.
• From the perspective of the child, there are several reasons why a “mother” may not be around to raise a child when the child is born. Maybe the mother passed away during child birth or maybe the mother fell seriously ill after child birth which forbid her to be a “traditional mother” or maybe the child is being raised by a single father or gay fathers. We will get into the discussion of “primary care provider” and “mother” later. In 2013, it is important to acknowledge the facts in the best interest of the child. What if an “order” is placed for an IVF child with a surrogate and then the intended parent changes their mind during the pregnancy and abandons the IVF child, what category does that fit into why the IVF child does not have a “mother”? Unlike unwanted natural born pregnancies, IVF pregnancies are deliberate, costly and well planned. Why abandon an IVF child? Just like we have pedophiles in our society, we have even a rarer species called IVFphiles. And as IVF picks up in the coming century, there will be more cases of IBFphiles (strictly due to math), where are the laws to protect and ensure the rights of the IVF children? What if the surrogacy is international and now the IVF child is stateless and in legal limbo due to lack of immigration laws?
• For over 10000 years, we have a special meaning for “mothers” and it reflects in our cultures, society, laws across the world. We are not going to change the concept of “motherhood” overnight and neither anyone is going to try because all mothers are special. However in 2013, we also have realities of minorities who are single fathers or gay fathers or IVF fathers and so who is the “mother” for the child? More importantly are the “rights of an IVF child” inhibited due to “no legal mother”? From a literal perspective, we need a term like “primary care provider” regardless of a parent’s gender, color, caste, sexual orientation, etc. From a social perspective, the world is not comfortable with that yet. The case of an IVF child takes special meaning in this regard. Legally, when a parent uses an anonymous egg donor and surrogate to have an IVF child, who is the “mother”? Legally one has to complete adoption procedures as per local laws. Emotionally, is the person who is the “primary care provider” for the infant for first 3 – 6- 9 -12 -24 months the “mother”? In the case of single fathers, gay fathers, IVF fathers, is the traditional role of “mother” taken up by the father as the “primary care provider”? More importantly, who does the IVF child identify the most with as the “primary care provider”?