Trophy Child? – A Lesson As IVF Terrorism Continues

Its hard to believe what happened just 50 years ago and one can only imagine to walk in Mr. Lewis’s shoes to gauge where our society has come in john_lewis_discrimination_IVF50 years. There is so much more to do. The discrimination lines have changed but they still do exist. Sir (out of respect) John Lewis was arrested for using a “white” restroom and had broken the prevailing laws. An immigrant, intersex IVF father in 2000s is also discriminated for trying to give human rights to a person where laws itself fall short in 2000s and worse so are his innocent IVF children because they committed the “heinous crime” of being born to an immigrant, IVF father. Let us pray the innocent siblings don’t see each other only in “pictures” but have an opportunity to grow up together as was intended by the IVF parent.

There is a stereotype around having “trophy this” and “trophy that” and wanting to be a star at every event. Perhaps for an infertile person who is desperate meaning NOT all infertile people, having a child at any cost is like a “trophy child”. The feelings and wishes of the “trophy child” do not count. They are silenced and muted out because the desperate infertile person must have a child at any cost. Does the child have rights? Is the child allowed to have wishes? As we mark October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month, is wanting to have a trophy child at any and all costs creating more victims of domestic violence and abuse? If you don’t like the laws, change the laws but breaking the laws which cannibalizes rights of others including innocent children is no way to move forward. What will it take to have an IVF/surrogacy awareness month? Mostly to educate and spread awareness so that the issues and lack of laws plaguing a minority (IVF families) can be understood by the majority. As per CDC, 1 in 8 couples or about 15% are infertile (not sure if LGBTI couples are included in this CDC statistic) while only about 1% of total child births were through IVF in the US. Two points : The majority (85%) does not know or understand the issues with infertility and second, there is a huge disparity within the infertile community on how they solve the issues (only 1% of total births through IVF Vs. 15% of population is infertile) – the others probably go for adoption or remain childless. Where do desperate infertile people (not all infertile) fit in who engage in IVF terrorism splitting innocent IVF siblings deliberately?

Folks like John Lewis, Dr. King, Madiba, Gandhi, Rosa Parks, Susan Anthony Erin Brockovich amongst others provide great inspiration as one tries to go against the prevailing laws because its the right thing to do. IVF is new and laws have not caught up with technology. Does that mean innocent IVF children have no rights? Does that mean an IVF family deserves no justice and should be silenced? Does that mean IVF terrorism wins? The quest to want a child is not based on gender, religion, sexual orientation, marital status, immigration status, etc. If a human being loves children, they want children, period. Other traits like character, respecting laws, love is what makes a good parent. Unleashing IVF terrorism on an unsuspecting IVF family already besieged with lack of laws is abuse and injustice to the IVF family and the innocent IVF children. There are different forms of terror – the traditional kind, terror from rape, terror from domestic violence and abuse, and in the 21st century we have a new IVF terrorism unless laws are made. All forms of terror have one thing in common – undue harm to innocent. When terrorists in Syria or Iraq or elsewhere strike, innocents get terrified and they run across boarders sometimes making them stateless including innocent children. In a world with no laws for international IVF/surrogacy, some people can unleash IVF terrorism creating innocent IVF children who are stateless. Now what?

Dying, suicide, extreme trauma would be the easy option. Education and awareness to get proper laws passed even if it takes a lifetime is a service to innocent IVF children and families. In 2014, there have been a spate of stories on how international IVF/surrogacy is allowing people to ABANDON innocent IVF children in foriegn countries. Is this right? What does it say about our humanity? From the tallest structure built by mankind, to the wonderous  space explorations to moon, Mars and beyond, to the system of democracy where we try to ensure everyone has a level playing field to succeed, as a humanity what have we achieved if we “create” babies through IVF only to abandon them with NO justice for the innocent child? First, we have to respect each other including innocent IVF children. Depending on individual cases, multiple human beings are involved including their compassion to bring an IVF baby into this world. Would the donor have agreed regardless of amount offered if they were told the IVF baby will be abandoned? Would the surrogate have agreed regardless of amount offered if they were told the IVF baby will be abandoned? Would the IVF clinic have agreed regardless of amount offered if they were told the IVF baby will be abandoned? Would the law and justice system have agreed if they were told the IVF baby will be abandoned?

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