There are international laws for child abduction, there are international laws for child adoption, but there are NO international laws for IVF/Surrogacy children. Why? Is this discrimination against IVF children and families? The argument is it could be inadvertent because IVF/Surrogacy laws are in its infancy but that does not mean there is NO discrimination. Is creating STATELESS IVF children a crime against the IVF child? Is it a crime against a human being?
In order for an inter-country adoption to be LEGAL, several steps have to be followed. The first one being a Home Study by a certified and accredited adoption agency – meaning a third party. They are not just going to “take your word for it” that you claim to become “good parents”. They come to your home, assess the environment of your home first-hand, go through the financial documents first-hand, assess your neighbourhood, may even meet your neighbours, your friends and family to get a better understanding of your daily life. They are NOT poking, they have come because the adoptive parent(s) invited them by signing up for adoption. They have come in the “best interest of the child”. The laws for adoption require a homestudy by a qualified MSW or MA Psychology person with 100s of questions that the certified agency uses in their evaluation of the homestudy.
In the case of IVF/surrogacy where ONE parent is “non-biological”, are similar guidelines followed in the “best interest of the child”? Is it the burden of the “biological parent” to do what a certified agency does? Is it the burden of the “biological parent” to have knowledge like that of a qualified MSW or MA Pscychology person and the 100s of questions that highly knowledgeable and learned people came up with years of experience for the Home Study? Does the “biological parent” in an IVF/Surrogacy become an overnight MSW or MA Psychology?
International Adoption INSIST on keeping adopted biological siblings together as outlined in the subsidiarity principle. Is this followed in IVF/Surrogacy cases when biological lineage is KNOWN?
IVF is NOT as simple as depositing your DNA! It takes more than that. IVF is a journey which starts long time before the 9 months preceding the IVF child’s birth. Not all infertile or dysfertile people can do IVF because IVF is expensive. An IVF father did odd jobs, crawled up ducts on weekends while working full-time in a white collar engineer job during the week so that he could SAVE money to afford IVF. What extra jobs did the non-biological parent do to afford IVF? How many extra jobs did the non-biological parent do to afford IVF? What did the non-biological parent pay for the IVF procedure? Life is cruel. NO MONEY, NO IVF. There is NO IVF based on COMPASSION. Once IVF child was born, was the non-biological parent under medical treatment ABLE to be the PRIMARY CARE PROVIDER? Did the non-biological parent under medical treatment ABUSE the innocent infant and the IVF father? Do we have LAWS to protect men and IVF infants from domestic violence and abuse?
Best Interest of Infertile Adult or Child?
What if a Home Study would have been conducted for a dysfunctional intersex married couple in 2003 when they were aspiring to go for IVF/Surrogacy? Checking facts, in the US, DOMA was struck down on June 26, 2013 and opening pathway to same-sex marriage in states which recognize it. US Immigration is following up and providing federal benefits like immigration to “same-sex” couples in 2013. The status of “intersex” is unknown in the US and are still invisible while internationally other countries recognize “intersex” as a legal third gender including Australia, India, Nepal among others. USA has a long ways to go in making “intersex marriages and its issues” visible. Based on the court ruling in 2013, an intersex marriage would be illegal in 2003 and so would be immigration based on that. So FRAUD has occurred. The right answer is to DEMAND for equal rights rather than BREAKING the LAWS.
A Home Study in 2003 would have FAILED not because of an ILLEGAL marriage but because one adult was still under secret medical treatment. The medical records and financial records would have to be SHARED with a MSW or MA Psychology HSR worker. They could have learnt about the “secret” and determined that it was too “PREMATURE” to have a child now. A check and balance system would have worked! Instead of relying on a “IVF biological father” with no MSW or MA in Psychology or someone who is FORCED to be silent under threats and is abused, a THIRD PARTY would have made the appropriate call.
As per international adoption guidelines, EVERY effort MUST be made to place biological siblings together. Is the effort being made to allow biological IVF siblings to grow up together? Having LAWS to assist in this is the strongest MESSAGE, where are such LAWS for IVF children and families? Having a CHILD STATELESS is human rights violation. NOT allowing a citizen to return to their country of citizenship is a human rights violation. What is being done to RESTORE rights of innocent IVF human beings? If abusing a cat or dog is a crime, what is it when an IVF child is abandoned and left stateless?
Why should an IVF father lose out on his FATHERHOOD with his IVF son? Why should an IVF son NOT have an opportunity to be around a FATHER? Why should an IVF child be STATELESS? Why should an IVF child NOT have an opportunity to grow up with his SIBLING that he wanted? Why should the IVF siblings NOT grow up together? The ONLY crimes they have committed is they DARED to give HUMAN RIGHTS in secrecy to a person where GOVERNMENTS itself fall SHORT.
If intersex marriage were LEGAL there would be NO SECRECY and LIES. If EQUAL immigration rights for IVF children existed, there would be NO SECRECY and LIES. Are IVF fathers and spouses of intersex AND IVF children human beings with EQUAL human rights?
A young, male, spouse caregiver of intersex and IVF father is NOT gay but is treated with anti-gay discrimination from a legal perspective.
If gay rights existed, the IVF father could have brought his IVF daughter born in India to the US legally.
If gay rights existed, the two IVF siblings would be growing up together.
If gay rights existed, an innocent IVF child would NOT be STATELESS.
This is NOT about intersex rights or NON-biological parent rights, it is about NOT lying and NOT living in secrecy which PUNISHES innocent children. We have crossed so many bridges where a lot of people would have either left or died. An IVF father was left for DEAD and threatened but he miraculously has survived for his IVF children thanks to the love and support of his family. The answer is TRUTH like Edie Windsor and like Rosa Parks and like Mahatma Gandhi. Secrecy and lies are a failed approach. In truth, we will get EQUAL rights for future intersex people, future IVF children and families, future IVF fathers including gay fathers, future family caregivers AND NO STATELESS IVF children. And if speaking the truth and asking for EQUAL rights is a CRIME, please do what you need to.
One cannot teach other’s kids to put the trash in the trash can but can inculcate that with their own kid with repetition. An IVF father wants an opportunity to teach his own IVF child to learn to say the TRUTH, does he have that right? If others teach their child to LIE, an IVF father cannot control that.