Tag Archives: Unite

If I Had a Passport…

1) I would go to America to see my brotherivf-passport

2) I want to play with my brother’s toys he shows on Skype

3) I want to spend only ONE night in America

4) I want to play in the snow

5) I want to tie Rakhi and make a drawing (card) for my brother

6) I want to go ice skating (skates with knives)

7) I want to go to London

8) I want to go see giraffes and zebras

9) I want to go dancing (Ok, don’t really need a passport for that)

10) I will become as astronaut and go to space as I will NOT need a passport.

These are the wishes of an innocent 4 year old IVF sister for her IVF brother. Two innocent siblings who have been deliberately separated due to NO CRIMES of their own. As a humanity, as a global citizen of the world, why can’t we rise above and spare the innocent children and the most vulnerable? What message do we send our future generations like these innocent IVF siblings, that breaking laws is more rewarding than changing laws? That creating human children through IVF is just a “commercial transaction” with NO responsibility or accountability for the innocent human life? In an ever increasing globalized world where services are sought globally, the laws, the legal jurisdictions need to become ONE in cases where the impact is global. Especially where the “service” involves innocent human children. We cannot and will not allow our innocent children to be used as “human chatal” rather as a beacon of hope that change is coming. IVF is all about change, are the laws ready for it?

Help UNITE innocent IVF siblings by securing a passport. http://chn.ge/1oltFl5

Progressive Vs. Stereotype

There is nothing status quo about this case, so why start “status quo” now? In an international case of immigrant, IVF children and dysfunctional intersex family, what side would you be on? Not just today, but in the next 5-10-Move-Forward-IVF50-100 years when there will be equal laws for both intersex and IVF children  and families. One can use anti-gay laws, anti-IVF laws, anti-immigration laws in 2009 to deny the rights of an IVF child, but they cannot continue the discrimination forever. In 2013, gay rights and intersex rights have made great strides, we hope to soon see IVF rights and immigration rights that does NOT split families. Then will someone be able to abandon an immigrant IVF child to steal another IVF child? The lack of laws for IVF children and families is like placing a “staircase” in front of a wheelchair bound person. We need a ramp – laws for IVF children and families to stop this ongoing discrimination.

This case is anything but stereotypical. It is about being progressive. It is a proud moment to be a young, spouse caregiver because it shows the love and a homage to the parents who raised their child right. It is a proud moment to be a IVF parent because it shows the love of a parent irrespective of biology, gender or sexual orientation and should not be forced to lie and live in secret about IVF. We need to continue to move forward and NOT be held back with stereotypes, secrecy and lies for selfish and criminal benefit. Was it wrong to help a fellow human being who happens to be intersex, infertile, immigrant? In the process one gets exposed to the secrecy, lies and the inhumane treatment meted out on intersex families and their children who may be IVF. There is nothing stereotypical in dealing with complex issues like intersex, immigration, IVF, invisibility in 2000s. It is rather a proud moment to celebrate having survived and being alive to tell about it. Thanks to the love and support of the family. Thats a message we would like to teach our children and pay it forward and not a message of secrecy and lies.

Truth Vs Lies

Unite Vs Divide

Love Vs Vengeance

Caregiver Vs Patient

Patience Vs Selfish

Humanity Vs Crimes

Crime Against Human

We all have skeletons in our closet but are any of those skeletons of an infant or a child? If one has the guts, they should first defend and bestow the rights of an innocent child and then thump their chest about love for a child. Of course it would require them to be honest and follow the prevailing laws. It would require them to be honest with themselves and the children and then others including the court.

It is one thing for an officer of the court to lie, malign, conspire on behalf of their client but when the victim includes an innocent, voiceless infant, what is the SCORE? What is there to be happy about that you beat a voiceless infant and denied them their legal rights and dehumanizing them by making them “legally invisible“?

Is that child abuse? Is that a crime against the infant – a human being? Is that crime against a human?

It is very traumatic to undergo an intersex surgery AND without parents as caregivers AND having an infant to raise while stabilizing from the ongoing medical treatment. We can feel sympathy but it would be incorrect to DENY the abuse that occurred to an innocent IVF child while stabilizing and under medical treatment.

Never again will an IVF child be denied their rights. An IVF child will have rights to basic human dignity and respect if not equal. Hope is that by 2013 or 2020 or 2030 or 2040 or 2050, abandoning IVF children will be a crime and the abandoning parent will be held accountable and responsible. Anyone who aids and abets in this crime will also be held equally responsible for suppressing facts from the court who can decide the best interest of the child. Because that’s what it is about – best interest of the child and not about lying, selfish, criminal adult who breaks laws. If a parent of an intersex child seeks compassion and sympathy, why would it be an insult for an IVF parent to seek compassion and sympathy for his IVF children? If parents of an intersex child chose to lie and fraud (maybe even due to the advise of “experts” like health professionals), why should an IVF parent LIE and live in secrecy and repeat the same mistakes? More importantly, what good will the lying and fraud do? – more crimes?

The stereotype is a male is unemotional, uncaring, unloving, untrustworthy, unparentworthy, not affected by infertility roller coaster ride, but thats what it is – stereotypes and are not true. The question to ask is when 83% of males leave their spouse when the spouse is diagnosed with a traumatic condition, the question to ask is in an ever-changing stereotypical world, when a male is a primary care provider for their children, the question to ask is while statistically 1 in 6 couples are infertile, ALL gays, lesbians, intersex couples are dysfertile or infertile. If these stereotypes are true in this case, how can a MALE become a young, male, spouse caregiver of intersex AND an immigrant IVF father and be WITHOUT emotions, love, care, and trust?

To Kill A Mocking Bird – Revisited in IVF

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.” – To Kill A Mockingbirdcropped-IVF-Spouse-Rights-Updated-e1372912834694.png

The year is 2013. We are still living in a world with unequal rights for IVF children and families. World has
witnessed women suffrage, civil rights, freedom from colonialism, apartheid, interracial marriages, single parenthood, baby scoop era, gay rights and we are onto the next frontier – intersex rights and rights for IVF children and families. Each issue is about fighting “social acceptance” of its time. Is 2013 a good time to start having a discussion of equal rights for intersex and IVF children and families or are we too early? Will there be others who benefit from having equal rights for IVF children and families and equal rights for intersex families?

As a left-behind parent of an abandoned IVF daughter and watching her turn 4 years, every moment has been worth it. We celebrate her existence and learn from the sacrifices why every human life deserves equal respect and dignity including her. There are no winners here but to punish innocent IVF children who are the most undeserving victims for the crimes they did not commit are the biggest losers. As adults, we must bring their rights as an individual to the forefront. I have a dream that one day it will not be the gender of a parent but the love and character of a parent which will define parenthood. More importantly, innocent siblings will not be judged or discriminated based on the gender of their parent.

For those who claim its a minority and tries to somehow justify the unequal laws, is that what you would say and teach your child?

For those who claim its one bad apple and let it go, is that what you would say and teach your child or teach them to stand up for their rights and others rights?

For those who claim just let it be, letting it be would mean accepting the dehumanization and disrespect for basic human dignity and that too our own child, will you as a parent let it be if your child was the victim?

The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience.” – To Kill A Mockingbird

What we are seeking is a solution to the catch 22 situation we are in as an immigrant, IVF family in 2013. We have been deliberately placed into this situation due to lack of laws. Most other people just “give up” and go on in life or are unaffected by the lack of immigration laws for IVF children because the child and parent are both in the same country like the case of a California surrogate who is raising the IVF twins the biological parents abandoned – but they are all within the boundaries of the US. Inspiration comes from a Canadian couple who moved to India for 6 years before they were allowed to bring their IVF child to Canada – power of staying UNITED and saying the TRUTH. After waiting for 6 years, they were miraculously granted to take their IVF child to Canada on “humanitarian grounds” and an “exception” to the law was granted. So there is a chance?

Why cannot two IVF siblings be UNITED based on the same “humanitarian grounds”? Why cannot the two IVF siblings be taken out of the “catch 22” situation which has been created by clever manipulation of the US laws or rather lack thereof. If gay rights existed in the US in 2009, the two IVF children would NOT be separated.

As per a June 2011 US government report, the right answer is for the laws to catch up with IVF technology then isn’t this the perfect example why? Two innocent IVF siblings are being punished even if inadvertently for crimes they did not commit. What would be the disadvantage of having equal rights or having a discussion on immigrant IVF rights?

A lot of countries like India, Nepal have long recognized the “third gender” and so have laws that are specific to issues that affect families of third gender. In 2011, Australia and later New Zealand, started allowing “I” or “O” as an intermediate gender for intersex. In 2013, Germany will become the first western Europe country to recognize the undetermined gender for intersex. When will US offer the same? More importantly when will US change the laws to address the specific issues that affect intersex families and children of intersex families like IVF children?