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To Intersex, IVF and Beyond

Buzz Lightyear came a few years before my first IVF child was born in 2004. Infinity and Beyond is something I buzz_lightyear_infinity_and_beyondalways imagined sharing with him. When Toy Story 3 was announced, I looked forward to seeing it with him in theaters in 2010 but we NEVER got to experience that together due to an unprecedented and vicious divorce and parental alienation. The heart is still in the same place, except the theme has changed – to intersex, IVF, immigration and Beyond. Just like sometimes a hunter becomes the hunted, sometimes a fertile person becomes infertile due to the trauma and experiences of IVF even though biologically they may be fertile.

The Beyond

As Buzz lightyear would say to INFINITY and beyond, we are to intersex, IVF, immigration and BEYOND. Someday, we will be blessed to see Toy Story series together with all the children as a family. I miss my son and love him deeply. I miss my son missing his siblings. The second IVF child was his dream to have a sibling. For those who think the IVF child is happy, how do you know he cannot be HAPPIER with his siblings and family? Has he been allowed an OPPORTUNITY to experience that? The ones who are trying to SILENCE the TRUTH are EQUALLY culpable in the CRIMES committed. Silence will NOT get new laws and equality; TRUTH will. Silence will NOT get relief for victims and justice;TRUTH will. By requesting SILENCE, are you implicitly implying NO JUSTICE or RELIEF for victims – the innocent, voiceless children – brother and sister? Infertility is very traumatic, lack of laws to assist infertile families is MORE traumatic. For the record, we did try SILENCE for a decade; the result is in front of you…still want to IMPOSE SILENCE?

While others are talking about EQUAL rights for intersex, the spouse stayed married in an intersex marriage despite the fraud. While others are talking about EQUAL rights for non-biological parents, the biological parent SHARED his child with a non-biological parent. While others are talking about EQUAL immigration rights for LGBTI, the intersex spouse immigrated based on an intersex marriage long before it became a law. The result of incessant lying, breaking the laws is PUNISHMENT for innocent, IVF children. What would be the point of staying silent? If saying the TRUTH is a crime, we are guilty. What is lying, creating and using the fraud documents, breaking the laws; are those crimes? While others are still fighting for equal marriage rights and equal immigration rights, and next will come equal “fertility or dysfertility” rights (impact of legal gay marriages), we have gone BEYOND it and are living it.

Slaves to Secrecy and Lying – Break Free with Education and Awareness

Had we relied on TRUTH, none of this would have happened. Had the two IVF siblings been UNITED, none of this TRUTH would come out. Given the legal complications of the case and FACTUALLY not in favor of immigrants, intersex, non-biological IVF parent, does that JUSTIFY abandoning an IVF child, AND DENYING an IVF child their legal rights AND making them STATELESS AND placing them in LEGAL LIMBO? The intersex person who filed for divorce in US did NOT mention the ongoing IVF pregnancy in India they agreed to. The intersex person NEVER came to India to take the IVF child to the US to “fool” the US Immigration laws. What if the intersex person came to India, take custody of second IVF child and return to the US and then filed for divorce, would the PREVAILING LAWS have been in their favor? Would the IVF father have mounted a LEGIT defense and got DUE PROCESS to ensure his IVF children STAY UNITED? If laws have been broken, have CRIMES been committed? Has DUE PROCESS been given to innocent, voiceless IVF children and family?

Whether the IVF siblings are united or not, the FACTS will NOT change. The lesson learnt is innocent children get punished for crimes they did not commit. No more LYING. As an IVF parent, thats the worst thing is to have the lies, fraud, abuse REPEATED on your children.  Is an IVF child a “property” to be treated as “leverage” to hide facts and break laws OR does the IVF child have RIGHTS? Does the US condone behavior to place “orders” for IVF babies by their residents and then have NO legal responsibility or accountability? As a fellow US Citizen, thats NOT the country I know. We stand up for what’s right and we give a voice to the voiceless.

Intersex people deserve equal rights and there is a legitimate way to do it (ask Edie Windsor) for benefit of all. Hurting innocent, voiceless children CAN NEVER be the answer on the path to EQUAL intersex rights. Ironically, intersex children also have been victims of secrecy and lies and now so are IVF children. And how will secrecy and lies help this time? If intersex are a minority, what is a spouse caregiver of intersex AND an immigrant IVF father – a minority within a minority?

LOVE – Spouse and Child

The intersex spouse underwent an unprecedented medical treatment for intersex during marriage. There are intersex people who undergo the same treatment either in childhood or puberty or outside of marriage as an adult. It is a controversial treatment which the UN Special Rapporteur on Torture has called for a STOP in 2013. What are the effects when an intersex person undergoes the same controversial torturous surgery during marraige? Are the medical professionals equipped to DEAL with the issues when performing this surgery during a marriage or are they CLUELESS? Are their CLUELESS treatments HURTING innocent, unsuspecting intersex couples and families and their children yet to be born even if inadvertent? Doctors should NEVER LIE which involves breaking laws, period! What is so complicated to understand? Were we used like canary in the coal mine?

Due to the ongoing medical treatment of intersex under secrecy, lies and fraud, the TRUTH was NEVER revealed. FACTS were ignored. ABUSE went unreported. The father became the primary care provider for his IVF son developing a deep bond and love between PRIMARY CARE PROVIDER and CHILD. Socially its recognized as a “father-son” relationship which has multitude of issues including alienation of a child from a father is legalized.

The million dollar question is NOT status quo or strategy of it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission. The million dollar question is the best interest of the IVF child. Can someone show us the LAWS where an intersex person can legally marry in 1999 in India (in 2013 its still illegal), immigrate to the US based on the marriage (same-sex immigration was legalized in 2013 in the US), have an IVF child born in India immigrate to the US legally (suppression of facts, lies, fraud), have a same-sex divorce legalized in Texas in 2010 (same-sex marriage still illegal in Texas), ….the list goes ON. By ignoring these FACTS and maintaining status quo, how will we get EQUAL rights for intersex, how will we get EQUAL rights for IVF children and families, how will we get EQUAL rights for caregivers?

Why A Brother Cannot Meet His Sister?

Why cannot an IVF brother meet his IVF sister? The fours Is – intersex, infertility (IVF), immigration, invisibility. A parent stating that the other parent cannot raise his child till the child is eighteen years of age is abuse. It may not seem that way now but just like the GAY rights movement, in a decade after the alienated parents’ movement, it will be called abuse which is a crime. It is one thing for laws to catch up with social issues but what is to use the anti-gay, anti-IVF laws to deliberately split an innocent, voiceless IVF child away from his only known biological family and siblings using secrecy, lies, and fraud which breaks laws? Gay marriage was ILLEGAL in 2003 but is LEGAL in 2013. Parental Alienation is LEGAL in 2013, what will it be in 2023? You have to start thinking from the CHILD’s perspective?

This was not a crime of greed, this was not a crime of vengeance, but it was an act of selfishness, a crime of selfishness” – said Judge P. Kevin Castel of Federal District Court.

life happiness

1) LIES, LIES, LIES – First one would have to say the truth and declare the facts which is they are born through IVF and compassion of donors and surrogates. DENYING the TRUTH is DENYING their RIGHTS. If DUE PROCESS was followed and prevailing LAWS were respected, would the IVF siblings be SEPARATED?

2) DISCRIMINATION – There is discrimination against IVF children and families especially when it comes to immigration and international IVF. IVF technology is new and the laws have simply not caught up. But what if someone with intimate knowledge uses this information to discriminate and alienate IVF brother and sister? Is that a CRIME against innocent?

3) LAWS – Is it a CRIME to LIE and BREAK the prevailing LAWS? Is it a CRIME to enforce prevailing laws? Is ABANDONING an IVF pregnancy and placing the IVF child in legal limbo a CRIME against the IVF child and surrogate? Or are we condoning behavior of placing “orders” for babies and abandoning IVF pregnancies with NO responsibility or accountability?

4) LEGAL LIMBO – It is one thing to LOVE a child and another thing to create STATELESS IVF children for your own personal benefit. Do innocent IVF children have rights?

5) GRANDPARENTS – The IVF children were raised by their loving grandparents. The first IVF child partially and the abandoned second IVF child solely. What about the rights of the grandchildren to see and enjoy their loving grandparents who are fast aging and life is mortal?

6) LOVE – A father, his primary care provider, and son love and miss each other terribly but there is NO practical access to grow, develop and love together. Why? Is the LOVE of an infertile parent MORE than the LOVE of a fertile parent? What does the IVF child want?

7) Intersex – There is discrimination against intersex and lack of laws for intersex families. What are the effects of these lack of laws on an intersex family? Just like the future will bring EQUAL rights for intersex, the future will ALSO bring EQUAL rights for IVF children and families, then WHY SEPARATE IVF siblings now?

8) Medical Community – A few bad apples in the medical community LIE and create FRAUD documents which has lingering effects for the innocent. An INVALID birth documents, invalid medical records, abuse of infant, and so on. Now the same fraud medical documents are being USED to SEPARATE the IVF siblings. First abuse, now discrimination and continued abuse. Had the doctor known the fraud documents would be used in the court AGAINST innocent children, would they have lied? There is a code of conduct, ethics and oath in play.

9) FUTURE – By claiming CAIS have “ovaries” and “no testes”, are we HELPING anyone? More importantly, what about the effects of this lying? Will future CAIS children be born with ovaries? Isn’t it better to EMPOWER with TRUTH rather than teaching to LIE? How will you accept the “effects of surgery to remove testes and its medical treatment” because it NEVER happened? First ABUSE and then discrimination and continued abuse. In the future, will medical community LIE about the same surgery? What about the ABUSE and FRAUD occurring on innocent IVF siblings NOW due to this lying?

10) LOVE and a minority within a minority – A young, male, spouse caregiver of intersex stayed in a FRAUD marriage AND shared an IVF child he is VERY PROUD of and LOVES deeply. Is SHARING love? Then why is the IVF son not being allowed to SHARE? Where is the LOVE?

From a legal rights perspective, a spouse of gay is gay, a spouse of lesbian is lesbian, and a spouse of intersex is ____? Recently, Germany became the first European country (western) to legally recognize the “third gender”. Asian countries like India, Nepal, Pakistan and others have done it so before and so have Australia and New Zealand. This leads to education and awareness. Will other western countries like US, UK, Canada also follow suit and legally recognize the “third gender” in the future? And after a few decades, will they also recognize the issues and effects of an “intersex marriage” like having children through IVF and immigration issues? And will that be TOO LATE to save and salvage the INNOCENT CHILDHOODS of the IVF siblings of today?

1) The issue is NOT intersex; there are plenty of people who are born intersex but they do NOT LIE and break laws.

2) The issue is NOT IVF; there are plenty of parents who have children through IVF but they do NOT LIE and break laws.

3) The issue is NOT immigration; there are plenty of legal immigrants who strive to be together as a family through LEGAL immigration instead of facing the consequences of immigration fraud and breaking the laws.

The issue is LYING and breaking the laws which is PUNISHING innocent, voiceless IVF children for CRIMES they did NOT commit. If you are anti-lying and pro-truth, please support us and time will support us too because truth prevails. TRUTH is a lesson we can teach all our children – IVF, natural, straight, gay, intersex or otherwise.

Any amount of intelligence based on a foundation of LIES falls short in front of TRUTH. Really, its that simple. Do you continue a FIGHT based on LIES or do you continue a FIGHT based on TRUTH and for benefit of OTHERS? Ask Edie Windsor.

We are blessed to be left alive even though we are neither here, nor there – just hanging in the middle.

An IVF son cannot see his father because…

The FATHER, the primary care provider, and SON must be punished for DARING to attempt to give HUMAN truthRIGHTS to someone in SILENCE within the four walls of the house. What a terrible CRIME that is committed that the father and his IVF children MUST be PUNISHED and SEPARATED. Should we REPEAT baby scoop era on “socially unacceptable” norms which governments apologized for later? A father and son who LOVE each other deeply and miss each other terribly but MUST be SEPARATED because…infertility is a BIG CURSE? Are only INFERTILE people allowed to LOVE children? And the LOVE of the BIOLOGICAL PARENTS is NONSENSE? Infertility is natural – not a human’s fault but LYING, CRIMES to separate a father and son, a brother and sister, a child and his biological family is done by HUMANS – What is worse – the curse of nature or the curse of humans?

This was not a crime of greed, this was not a crime of vengeance, but it was an act of selfishness, a crime of selfishness” – said Judge P. Kevin Castel of Federal District Court.

An alienating parent STATING that the other parent CANNOT raise his child till the child is eighteen years of age is ABUSE. It may not seem that way now but just like the GAY rights movement, in a decade after the alienated parents’ movement, it will be CALLED ABUSE which is a crime. If a parent takes a son, a young male AWAY from his father until he is 18, it is ABUSE. If a non-biological, infertile parent takes a child away from the biological family till the child is 18 with heinous suppression of facts and breaking the laws, it is ABUSE. Could they have done this if LAWS were respected and DUE PROCESS was allowed and WITHOUT abandoning a second IVF sibling as a major decoy? Gay marriage was ILLEGAL in 2003 but is LEGAL in 2013. Parental Alienation is LEGAL in 2013, what will it be in 2023? You have to start thinking from the CHILD’s perspective?

If you can find something that you’re really passionate about, whether you’re a man or a woman comes a lot less into play. Passion is a gender-neutralizing force.” – said Ms. Marissa Mayer. As an IVF father, I am completely passionate about IVF, however, my gender of MALE was used against me and my IVF children to SPLIT them. We are still waiting for a gender-neutralizing force in parenting rights at home.

There are certain conventional wisdoms and then there are unconventional wisdoms. Living with a combination of intersex, infertility (IVF), immigration and invisibility (lack of laws) in 2000s is unconventional by any odds. In fact, the odds are 1 in a billion! So does that mean it’s OK to separate an IVF son from his father with LIES? Would an IVF mother be separated from her IVF child? Given the rarity of the case, we do not expect most people to understand the issues at FIRST GLANCE. A deeper understanding of the FACTS is required which calls for a small investment of your time. Certainly, the father cares and the IVF children care, because its their lives. For others, it may be just a statistic – 1 in a billion! Not to mention the laws that have been violated and the crimes committed to achieve the separation. If laws were followed, could the IVF family have been separated? Only a CRIMINAL is afraid of the TRUTH and attempts to muzzle the TRUTH. Will the LOVE for the innocent child be any LESS if TRUTH is known? For those of us who lie for others and its NOT natural, doesn’t it get tiring? Does an IVF parent have any right to see their IVF children together as they desired or should their GENDER be used against the innocent, voiceless children/siblings?

1) What a terrible crime the father has committed – he and his IVF children must be punished by separating them. Claiming to LOVE a child while separating him from his sibling, loving father, refusing FACTS and TRUTH (has legal implications), IT IS NOT LOVE for the innocent, voiceless CHILD. Placing the CHILDREN in LEGAL LIMBO is not LOVE for the CHILDREN, is it CRIMINAL? The male spouse (because of his gender) may NOT have human rights but does his IVF children have human rights? If one has committed NO CRIMES, then why do they need to FORCE SILENCE? Is that a continuation of ABUSE?

2) We are sympathetic to the intersex cause and not just in words but by actions. We have experienced the discrimination against the intersex family first-hand starting with the secrecy and lies. But does that mean our IVF son has to GIVE UP his biological family, his siblings, his father? Does that mean our IVF son has to give up his primary care provider? Is it a CRIME to be married to an intersex person and one must be PUNISHED by separating the children after LIVING through the secrecy, lies, fraud, abuse, violence, silence?

No one knows the future but what will remain constant is the TRUTH. Whether the US recognizes intersex as women or as third gender, no one knows. There are people calling for legal recognition of third gender in the US and other countries have legally recognized the third gender, no one knows where US laws will go. What we do know is that there has to be compliance with current laws and lying on legal documents and presenting them as “valid” documents in court is a crime. Regardless of which direction US laws go for intersex families, TRUTH will remain constant. A spouse caregiver of intersex, an immigrant IVF father of two lovely children appealing to UNITE them is the TRUTH even though it is construed as LIES for personal benefit. Ridiculous claims are made where person is NOT intersex or the torturous intersex surgery NEVER happened or the child is NOT IVF. Each has a legal implication. The right answer is change the laws, not to break the laws and harm and abuse innocent, unsuspecting victims. 

3) It is a FACT that the father was the PRIMARY CARE PROVIDER for the IVF infant because the intersex person was pre-disposed with their ongoing secretive medical treatment. Being intersex and being a genetic male has nothing to do with it, it is simply the ongoing medical treatment made the intersex person unavailable. And genetic males can be primary care providers of children like in a gay relationship or single fathers or a young, male, spouse caregiver of intersex AND IVF father. Secrecy and lies are NOT the answer. Empowerment with the TRUTH is the way forward.

4) If an intersex person wants to claim to be SAME as a woman, do it so legally and truthfully, not behind closed doors while breaking the laws. It has unintended consequences on innocent victims including children.

5) If a medical professional wants to claim an intersex person is SAME as a woman, do it so legally and truthfully, not behind closed doors while creating false medical records and breaking the laws. It has unintended consequences on innocent victims including children. Was the intent of the medical professional for the intersex person to use this fraud medical record in court of law as TRUTH? Will they support this fraud record? And if the medical community thinks its the right thing to do, then why have they STOPPED from creating such FRAUD medical records? What are the consequences – intended or inadvertent of FALSE medical records? What about the ABUSE on spouse and the innocent infant? When health professionals make false medical claims, it has reverberating effects on innocents including not getting justice they deserve.

6) If an intersex family wants to claim their child SAME as a woman, do it so truthfully and legally, not by DUPING and FRAUDING an unsuspecting victim into a marriage while breaking the laws. It has unintended consequences on innocent victims including children.

7) If parents of an intersex child wants to claim their child SAME as a woman, do it with pride and love, show up to help and support a spouse caregiver as their intersex child is working through the effects of an intersex surgery during a marriage. Unless you witness it, how do you know what its like? Continuing to lie for your child and teaching your child to lie has unintended consequences on innocent victims including children.

8) If an intersex family wants to claim their child SAME as a woman, do it with dignity, civility, and humility. A spouse of intersex has to deal with infertility, the parents DO NOT. How can they know the effects of infertility in a marriage? A spouse also has to deal with being the primary care provider for the IVF child due to the ongoing secret medical treatment of the intersex spouse. Lying has consequences on innocent victims including children and ironically, its the IVF children who are born due to the infertility.

9) By continuing to LIE and living in DENIAL is NOT helping anyone. Truth is the only way forward because separating SIBLINGS is heinous. Placing an “order” for an IVF child and later abandoning the IVF child with NO responsibility and accountability and placing the innocent IVF child in LEGAL LIMBO is heinous and a crime against her basic human rights. What’s next, HUMAN CLONING for personal amusement because some affluent person needs a kidney or a liver or a heart?

10) Disallowing the IVF son the TRUTH is perpetuating the same LIES that were taught to an intersex child. How did that turn out?

11) Disallowing the IVF son the TRUTH and NOT allowing him to meet his sibling or his father and the family is PERSONAL interest and NOT his best interest.

US is based on rule of laws and is a compassionate country. Do they condone this behavior? Will they take the time to invest in this case to understand the facts and see that the strategy of secrecy and lies used to “solve” social issues like “intersex” is being repeated for other social issues like “infertility – IVF”. Is that a good strategy? The consequences of lying, breaking the laws, secrecy eventually bears out. In the context of social issues, by helping ONE person through lying, secrecy, and breaking the laws, how does it help the other intersex children and other IVF children and families? The right answer is change the LAWS with our changing realities.

Do NOT PUNISH innocent children for crimes they did not commit.

If I Were A Woman…

Looking for an Erin Brockowich or “Pam Landy” from the movie “The Bourne Ultimatum”. Anyone willing to give it ALL to uncover the TRUTH and provide relief to the VICTIMS?

1) If Maulik were a woman…The innocent children would be UNITED and growing up together.Children Looking for Birth Parent

First, the prevailing laws would NEVER SPLIT innocent brother and sister, if born of the same woman. But since the innocent children are born through IVF, it is morally and legally OK to SPLIT them because of their parent’s gender. The heart weeps for innocent, voiceless children who are victims based on a parent’s gender. First, a spouse of intersex was victimized using lies and fraud under silence and now the same victimization is being continued on innocent, voiceless children. Is it time to speak up? Victimizing unsuspecting humans to secure one’s own human rights is NOT a solution, its multiple violations of multiple human beings.

Every child in this world has a mother. Only a mother can give birth…humans have not figured out yet how to do that outside the womb. But is every mother ALSO a “legal mother”? IVF does open up some doors for varying definitions of a “legal mother”. If a man uses his sperm, an anonymous donor and surrogate, who is the “legal mother”? Only the father would be the KNOWN biological parent for the IVF children.


a) From 1940s to 1970s, USCanada and Australia during the baby scoop era forced adoptions of innocent children born to single mothers out of wedlock because it was “socially unacceptable” and gave the children to “deserving infertile couples”. The ONLY FAULT of the innocent child to grow up SEPARATELY from the biological family is they were born to a “single mother”.

b) Today, the ONLY FAULT the innocent IVF siblings are growing up SEPARATELY is because of their only known biological parent’s GENDER, a male and that is “socially unacceptable”. Gay fathers, single fathers, IVF fathers are not looked upon as “socially acceptable” yet.

2) If Maulik were a woman…his daughter and mother would not have been punished.If I were a woman

Accidents happen. A mother dies during child birth or a mother has a severe medical condition right after child birth which prevents a mother from being the primary care provider for an infant. But what if an intended parent places an “order” for an IVF baby in India while living in the US and DOES NOT show up when the “ordered IVF baby” is born in India and meet the US Immigration law requirements. Instead the infant girl child is pre-meditatively abandoned and an innocent aging grandmother raises the innocent IVF granddaughter at a great personal cost to her health. If Maulik were a woman, he could have taken his biological child with him to the US WITHOUT anyone’s help or support.

3) If Maulik were a woman…there would be more social, legal, financial, moral support to UNITE the innocent brother and sister.

There would be several social organizations offering legal, financial, and moral support to UNITE the innocent brother and sister. But because the SAME two innocent brother and sister are born of a father, they get LESS support. If you do not know what its like to be discriminated because of your colour, caste, creed, religion, but now one can see that innocent CHILDREN are punished because of their only biological parent’s GENDER, a male.

4) If Maulik were a woman…There would be more support, empathy and help during the caregiving years.

It is a FACT that there are MORE female caregivers than male. As a result, it is only logical to find more support, help and someone to SHARE for respite as a caregiver. A caregiver does not CONTROL the medical situation of the patient, they are a caregiver out of love and compassion for the patient. The most important aspect for any caregiver is to be able to SHARE. As a young, male, spouse caregiver one can attest that the argument that men SHARE less than women is FALSE. While there may be MORE men who do not SHARE as women do, typically those men are also NOT caregivers and is reflected in the statistics. Men who are caregivers SHARE a LOT, its in their nature, its in the nature of any caregiver irrespective of gender.

5) If Maulik were a woman in a lesbian relationship with another woman…he would have been allowed to share the “secret” seeing how the secrecy and lies was breaking me down.

If Maulik were in a lesbian relationship with another woman, he would have received more empathy, support, and help. Maulik would have been protected from domestic abuse and violence and implicitly his child.

6) If Maulik were a woman in a lesbian relationship with another woman…he may not have been LIED to or cheated.

If Maulik were in a lesbian relationship, the spouse would have been honest from the get go. Love is built on trust and a foundation of lies (regardless of the “traumatic medical condition”) is NOT love.

7) If Maulik were a woman…he could have fulfilled my child’s wish to give him a sibling.

While wonderful medical technology like IVF affords us to have children, the LAWS have simply not caught up and are still based on GENDER of the parent. Then why allow men to have kids without a “legal mother”  and punish the innocent children?

8) If Maulik were a woman…he could have breastfed my child instead of abusing him by attempting to breastfeed with “NO MILK” as a genetic male.

While women who do not give birth to a child, through medically administered hormonal therapy they can still lactate and produce milk for a baby. Provided there is enough milk, a woman can breastfeed a child. As a male, there is no milk and while pretending to be a woman, inadvertently, an innocent infant cries incessantly for food as there is no breast milk. The right answer is to give the hungry infant formula milk like most IVF children and NOT abuse a hungry infant while trying to become a woman.

9) If Maulik were a woman…he would feel sorry for a man wanting to make IVF children without a “legal mother”.

There are men who are gay, there are men who are married to Eunuch or intersex, there are single fathers, there are fertile men in a heterosexual relationship with an infertile woman, who WANT children. In a case of IVF, the only known biological parent in any of these cases is the MALE. As a fertile lesbian or single woman, the same gender-based IVF laws do not affect a woman. Feel sorry for such fertile men who love and want children but LAWS punish both them and inadvertently their CHILDREN.

10) If Maulik were a woman…as a mother, he would ask to STOP this crime on humanity and innocent IVF children by placing them in LEGAL LIMBO.

A birth certificate is NOT the property of parents, it is the property of EACH INDIVIDUAL. Therefore its authenticity is CRITICAL for a LIFETIME. Recently, there was a big row in India about a birth date for Gen. V. K. Singh (retd). Having CREDIBLE birth information for EACH INDIVIDUAL is their right which cannot and should not be denied. If we as a society cannot pass fair and equal laws, we should call a moratorium on IVF children born of fathers as the only known biological parent. Deliberately placing innocent IVF children in LEGAL LIMBO is a crime against humanity. The same bioethical reasons why human cloning is banned is the same bioethical reasons why bringing IVF children into this world with their rights in LEGAL LIMBO is wrong.

Gay Marriage and Divorce

While most places in the world do NOT allow legal gay marriage yet, what will it look like when gay marriage isIntersex Gay Lesbian Rights legalized? And then there will be gay divorce. What will a gay divorce look like? And what about the children in a gay marriage if any? Since there is NO mother in a gay marriage, will the children be SPLIT when divorced? Or will the BEST INTEREST of the CHILDREN come FIRST?

In a gay marriage, are trust and love equally important or is lying and cheating allowed?

In a gay marriage, will the spouse have EQUAL access to medical records as a caregiver?

In a gay marriage, will the spouse be protected by law for domestic violence and abuse?

For a bi-national immigrant gay couple, will they be allowed to immigrate to the US legally?

In a gay marriage, if they do not ADOPT,  only one spouse will be a biological parent if they have a child through IVF. Will the child be allowed to immigrate legally to the US if the child is born outside the US to an immigrant bi-national gay couple?

In a gay marriage, does the child call anyone a “mother”?

In a gay marriage, does the child have a “mother tongue” or a “primary care provider tongue” or a “father tongue”?

In a gay marriage, will either male try to breastfeed the infant? What if there is no lactation, will they allow the infant to cry incessantly and suffer while hungry?

In a gay marriage, what traditional stereotype will be used to assign “primary care provider” role since there is no mother?

In a gay marriage, does the child have a right to have a sibling?

In a gay marriage, what if it takes a few years and repeated failed IVF attempts and perseverance to keep trying to provide a sibling for the child? Will the biological parent make all the efforts and trips to have a second child? What support will the non-biological parent provide?

In a gay divorce, what if the non-biological parent files divorce with NO mention of ongoing IVF pregnancy, how will the court look after the BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILDREN of a gay marriage?

In a gay divorce, what if the biological parent is EXILED from the US as the second IVF child is NOT allowed to immigrate to the US without a mother?

In a gay divorce, has DUE PROCESS been allowed without intimidation and threats of saving a little infant girl’s life half a world away?

In a gay divorce, what if the non-biological parent takes no accountability or responsibility for raising the second child and abandons the innocent child and is not required to pay any child support as the information was suppressed from the court.

In a gay divorce, what about the rights of the first IVF child who wanted a sibling? What about the rights of the first IVF child who wants his biological father around while growing up?

In a gay divorce, what about the rights of the second IVF child for being abandoned and endangering their welfare? Do they get any rights in the US? Is it a crime against humanity?

All this has already happened in an intersex marriage and divorce between two genetic males. And neither gay marriage or intersex marriage is LEGAL yet which means, yes LAWS have been broken, not once but multiple times. The key difference is in a gay marriage, both spouses know and understand they are gay and have same rights – equal or unequal. In an intersex marriage, the unsuspecting non-intersex spouse is a VICTIM and is unaware of the unequal rights for intersex but inherits them. And sadly, the victimization and abuse continues to the innocent children and not being allowed to grow up together. In a gay marriage, both spouses may be fertile but in an intersex marriage, the intersex person is infertile. The temptation and bias for a child Vs their own selfish interests present a severe conflict of interest.

2101: An IVF Siblings Odyssey

The year is 2101.

Equal rights for IVF children and IVF ecosystem exist. The struggles for equal LGBT rights, same-sex marriage, adoption rights by LGBT has been had. Equal rights for 2101 : IVF siblings odysseyintersex has been had. Intersex marriages are legalized. There is a global recognition of the existence of the “third gender”. It is no longer taboo to discuss the truth. Adoptions by intersex are legalized. IVF/surrogacy by intersex is legalized. We have already LIVED this life of secrecy, lies and fraud in 2000s, maybe a century too early. Living a life of secrecy, lies and fraud and then having your children bear the punishment is too much to bear. Fast forward to 2101. It is common to see gay couples raising children without a “traditional mother”. It is common to see single men raising children without a “traditional mother”. “Social acceptance” of parenthood definitions are changing. Will an IVF father have rights to raise his biological children? More traumatically, will the children of an IVF father who are biological siblings be DISCRIMINATED against because of their IVF father’s gender, a male?

Are spouse of intersex and children in an intersex family in 2013 in same place where Jeanne Manford was in 1972? It is rather ironical that social justice and equality is delivered when someone dies or respect is only earned after death. I was left for dead, however the love for my children helped me survive. IVF children symbolize “GIVING LIFE” and NOT taking life. This struggle for equal IVF child rights and equal IVF family rights which may include heterosexuals, gays, lesbians, intersex is a peaceful struggle. We ask everyone to join us and help us accelerate the inevitable.


If it makes your hair stand up or gives you the churns in the stomach or simply makes you think what a STUPID statement, this is exactly what governments of Canada, Australia and other countries in the 1960s and 70s did because “single mothers” were “socially unacceptable”. It was state-sponsored forced adoption of innocent children from loving mothers whose ONLY fault was they were single and they lived in a primitive time.

In 2013, somehow it is OK to forcibly take a child away from an IVF father who loves his child deeply and the child loves his father deeply.

As the old addage goes, HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF. There is no doubt that in a not too distant future, IVF fathers will be “socially acceptable” and their children will have EQUAL rights as a natural born child and NOT BE DISCRIMINATED against because of their father’s gender. An IVF father can be a loving single father, a gay father or a spouse of intersex. Imagine in the future when looking back and thinking, my what a STUPID thing was it to separate loving biological families.

After World War II, in the US there were forced adoptions of native American children to white American families in an attempt to better assimilate the native Americans with the rest. Diversity was not respected. Today, the same government is conducting TRUTH and RECONCILIATION commissions. The children who grew up SEPARATELY from their biological parents are confused. No words can describe their feelings. We can assume that the white American families who adopted the children gave the best care and love in raising the children but as the innocent children ask, WHY? It is NEVER acceptable to DESTROY and SEPARATE loving biological families.

Sadly in a country like India, female foeticide or infanticide still occurs. But if an IVF girl child is pre-meditatively abandoned and left for dead, there is NO repurcusions. If an egg donor dies during an IVF procedure, does she have any human rights? Are there any legal repurcusions and who should be held liable? If a surrogate dies during an IVF child pregnancy or birth, does she have any human rights? Are there any legal repurcusions? Is IVF being inadvertently used as a “baby making factory” with no respect for basic rights for the innocent IVF child and the IVF ecosystem as a whole?

Social Engineering will always be experimented for the so-called “greater good”. And in doing so, living on the “edge” and taking extreme decisions as a system may seem “normal”. But certain things remain constant, like CHANGE and TRUTH. By placing a human on the moon, the need for OXYGEN does not go away. Even if the human is tethered to an object in space, a lifeline with OXYGEN must be maintained. Do all the “SOCIAL ENGINEERING” you want, NOT MAINTAINING a tether with a loving BIOLOGICAL FAMILY is too risky and with UNKNOWN results for the innocent CHILD who has NO VOICE.

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