Tag Archives: laws

Unregulated IVF

In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a wonderful technology and like any other technology that humankind has invented, if it is misused or placed in love-compassion the wrong hands, it can create havoc. The product of a successful IVF is a wonderful IVF child – a HUMAN LIFE born. What are the RIGHTS of the innocent IVF child – a symbol of love and compassion?

Few Bad Apples

Out of a world of 7 billion, not all of us are murderers but we still have LAWS for the few bad apples. There are lobbies which are pro-IVF and others who want to ban IVF outright to some who are in the middle. Some comparing it to Frankenstein experiment to others confusing between IUI and IVF to others creating an industry out of solely run for the “paying adults”. What is indisputable is IVF should be regulated like any other technology because of a few bad apples. We cannot sit IDLE and RISK innocent lives. If IVF can be utilized for personal whims of a few bad apples, then should we allow HUMAN CLONING for the personal whims of a affluent human wanting an extra kidney or heart or liver or a child? IVF is also a technology used by infertile or dysfertile people. Most people either adopt or remain childless. That was the norm for centuries. In the last 35 years, this wonderful IVF technology came along and changed people’s perceptions, expectations, and hope. Infertility is traumatic and some people do desperate and terrible things like kidnapping or hurting or murder just to have a child. Their needs are satisfied but what about the needs of the CHILD?

Adoption has laws. Child Abduction has laws. There are NO laws for IVF/surrogacy children. Even if its inadvertent, this interim period provides a greenfield for some people who want an IVF child at any and all costs even if it violates the rights of other human beings like the surrogates or donors or the IVF child and discriminates. While rare, it is important to have a regulated industry just for those few bad apples. As a citizen, we can bring this to the attention of the government and they are listening and will take action. What happens to the IVF children in the meantime and do they have rights as human beings? Or since they are children and voiceless, is it OK to shun them or deprive them of their basic human dignity and rights?

Love and Compassion Or Losers?

In an unregulated industry, everyone loses in the long-term. In IVF, the biggest loser is the IVF child – a HUMAN LIFE. Sometimes LIES are harmless and sometimes LIES include breaking the laws. It is one thing to be infertile and it is another to LIE about it. It is one thing to be intersex and it is another to LIE about it. It is one thing to consent to IVF and it is another to ABANDON the IVF child with no help or support for the IVF child or the surrogate who carried the child to term. If an adult utilizes IVF for their personal amusement and changes their decision midway, what are the RIGHTS of the other loving and compassionate people in the process? What if there are medical complications at birth, who will pay for the surrogate and the IVF child? Who will pay for welfare and support of the IVF child? Can a mother of a natural born child have an ABORTION at 26 weeks term with NO threat to her life? Are the SAME things allowed in a natural pregnancy where a woman with NO threat to her life at 26 weeks term can ABORT the child? Why is the IVF child LESS of a child even if inadvertent? Who pays the surrogate on successful birth of an IVF child? Why is the surrogate mother LESS of a woman? What are the rights of the left-behind parent? Where is the basic human dignity and respect for a human life?

Regulations and Laws

Laws provide consistency, standards and relief for victims. We may not agree with the laws (like the ongoing equal marriage rights) and in that case it is better to campaign and get laws changed but NOT break the laws. There are international laws for child abduction and international laws for child adoption, where are the international laws for IVF/surrogacy children? In the interim are any rights being violated? Are the standards used for international adoption ALSO used for international IVF/surrogacy? What about IVF children who become STATELESS due to being ABANDONED by the “paying parent”? Do STATELESS children have rights? How do they go about moving on in life and starting to lead a decent life? For them, it is more about relief as victims rather than justice. Where is the relief for victims?

It does NOT matter how the relief comes. In the US, there is the American with Disabilities Act (ADA), do IVF children and families qualify for ADA? There are children with special needs, are we CREATING IVF children with special needs where the “special need” is lack of laws?

Repeating Lies Becomes Truth?

As the saying goes, to hide a lie you have to say a thousand lies. Or if you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth. Is it really worth lying which punishes innocent children? We want answers why our son, an Indian citizen, is not allowed to come to India to meet his family? Why can’t we share and be a part of his growing up? Why is their parental alienation from the biological family? Is this any different than the baby scoop era of taking away innocent children away from their biological mother because her ONLY fault was being a “single mother” which was “socially unacceptable” at the time?

It starts with a small lie and expands until you start believing in the lie yourself as the truth. There are so many similarities between intersex children and IVF children. Respect for Laws, Truth, Compassion have meaning? or are just hollow words? These are values much rather to have in children and the world will be a better place.

It is easy to brainwash innocent children and lie to them while they are young, is it abuse? And what happens when they grow up as individuals and are adults? How will the lies have helped them? As an IVF child or an intersex child, when they grow up and understand the truth and facts, will they advocate for EQUAL IVF rights and EQUAL intersex rights? Our goals are aligned.

1) Voiceless children

Intersex children are voiceless and are forced into sex reassignment surgery at a young age or puberty without their consent by educated elite who think they know what is right.

IVF children are voiceless and used as property with no respect for their basic human dignity just so that an infertile person can have a child. Does the innocent IVF child have their own rights as an individual?

2) Utopia Vs. Reality

There is a strategy of “concealment-based approach” using an elaborate web of secrecy, lies, brainwashes, propagandizing, convincing parents to lie for the “good of the intersex child”.

While socially we are led to believe that biology and gender do NOT matter to being a parent of a child; it is the love you offer. The LAWS and reality are in STARK contrast using ONLY the biology and GENDER to give rights to an IVF child. If the parent’s rights are oppressed, how can their IVF child have EQUAL rights as they are coupled with their parent’s rights.

If believing in Utopis is wrong, then punish the person who believed in Utopia like a spouse caregiver of intersex and an IVF father in early 2000s. Why punish the innocent children?

3) Fraud Legal Documents

When a doctor creates fraud medical records which is a legal document as saying “removal of ovaries” instead of “removal of testes”, what credibility is there? Does a doctor say “removal of kidney” when in fact they did a “liver transplant”? Intersex patient also starts believing they had “ovaries” instead of testes and keeps repeating the lies. It has an adverse effect on their relationships, career, family, children, etc.

When a doctor creates fraud birth documents of an IVF child, it has a lifetime of implications. A birth certificate is a property of the child, an individual, for a lifetime and NOT the property of the parents. False, inaccurate, fraud birth certificate details can have a lifetime adverse effect on the IVF child’s career, job, life, etc.

4) Implications of Fraud Documents

When an intersex patient provides a fraud medical record showing “removal of ovaries” when in fact it was testes to another doctor, or a nurse, or a lactation consultant, is it one crime or multiple crimes of presenting a fraud document. Is it also multiple counts of fraud upon the doctor/clinic who issued the fraud document?

When an IVF child gets a passport, a visa based on fraud birth documents, is that immigration fraud? Living as an illegal immigrant in a  foreign country is stressful and can be deported at any moment. Are their constitutional rights protected as an illegal immigrant in a foreign country? Only the country of citizenship can guarantee that. Does the innocent IVF child have rights to get EQUAL rights?

5) Long-term implications

If an intersex person who is a genetic male, attempts to breastfeed an innocent infant and there is no milk, is it abuse? Or their belief they had a “removal of ovaries” surgery makes them think they can breastfeed? The crime is NOT attempting to breastfeed but attempting to breastfeed with NO lactation and making the hungry infant cry incessantly because you cannot overcome your own lies?

If an IVF child grows up WITHOUT the biological family and falls severely sick and needs genetic data of the biological family, will the fraud birth documents help? What if a crucial piece of genetic history may help the IVF child’s health from less suffering?

6) Primary Care Provider

Having controversial Sex Reassignment Surgery for intersex people is popular among intersex but not during a marriage. Recently the Special Rapporteur on Torture called for a STOP to such normalization surgery in intersex. If the Torture department at UN thinks it is torture for the intersex, what is it for the spouse caregiver of intersex? It takes great courage for an intersex person to have to go through this controversial treatment, but are they the ONLY victims when done during a marriage? A person goes through ALL possible changes one can imagine; physical, mental, psychological, emotional, spiritual and it is very traumatic, as a spouse caregiver of intersex one get intimate knowledge which most others only have academic knowledge of.

We are reaching into the UNKNOWN. Intersex people can be good parents, thats NOT The discussion. Can they be a Primary care provider for an infant while their hormonal replacement therapy from male to female is stabilizing?  If an intersex person is a butterfly today, what was the situation during their ugly stage of transition as larvae? Was there any abuse on an innocent IVF child and an IVBF father in the meantime which was hidden again through a web of secrecy and lies?

Is it OK to separate an innocent CHILD from his Primary Care Provider?

7) Lying is second nature

What if an intersex person is so desperate that they start telling people that they had a child from their eggs which were harvested before their “removal of ovaries” surgery which by they way never existed. How many lies one must say to hide one lie? And how many other people are coerced into living a life of lies.

What if there is a chance the IVF child may leave. Will the infertile, intersex person lie to NOT lose a child at any cost including perjury, defamation, blatant lies of abuse, false criminal charges only to drop them later after utilizing them as legal leverage, conspiracy? Worst, abandoning the sister of the child they claim to love? Is this love for the child or for themselves due to infertility?

8) Relationships

A person who lies a thousand times to hide one lie will also lie, cheat, fraud their partner. And wonder why the partner wanted to leave them? Its because of the countless lies which include committing crimes. In any relationship, trust is paramount and no relationship will last on a foundation of lies.

An innocent child who is being raised by a perennial liar and a criminal is in grave danger. Not only will they learn to lie but they will also learn that if you lie, cheat, fraud, perjury, false allegations, criminal conspiracy, nothing will happen and you will NOT pay for the crimes. LYING is what the innocent child will learn and their relationships will be doomed as well.

Let’s keep it simple. Live free, and truth is freedom. No more lies.

Here is a start to a TRUTH:

Even if one intersex person through use of lies, cheating, fraud duped an unknowing, innocent victim and took their child away even though intersex are infertile. Can other intersex people marry legally? Can other intersex people have children legally? What is the greater good? Let us unite to ask for equal intersex rights so intersex families no longer have the NEED to lie, cheat, fraud innocent victims. And wanting “EQUAL RIGHTS” is something politics can help with.

We have shown compassion when fraud was discovered, we have shown compassion when the controversial sex reassignment surgery occurred during marriage and became a silent caregiver, we have shown compassion in having an IVF child, we have shown compassion in raising the IVF child as a Primary Care Provider, we have shown compassion to provide a sibling to the IVF child, we have shown compassion by inheriting the UNEQUAL rights for intersex families, list goes on….As per conventional wisdom, some secrets you take them with you which we were ready to do. We CANNOT stand quiet as our INNOCENT CHILDREN are being punished. We CANNOT stand quiet KNOWING other innocent IVF children and families have UNEQUAL rights. We CANNOT stand quiet at the abhorrent human rights and child rights issue.

We want answers why our son, an Indian citizen, is NOT allowed to meet his family in India? Why can’t we share and be a part of his growing up? As a human being, what possibly more can we have done differently? Maybe reporting the fraud marriage and leaving and thus no children is the right answer?

March Ahead

We hope to teach our children to say the truth and when something is unfair, demand to change the laws, NOTMarch Forward BREAK the laws at the cost of ruining others’ lives. Do CRIMES pay?

Dealing with TWO MINORITIES – IVF and intersex is a question of survival and lack of support and awareness. Demanding EQUAL rights is a few decades away and probably past our lifetimes. Change begins with education and spreading awareness.

We cannot wait to see EQUAL RIGHTS for IVF CHILDREN because then their EXISTENCE will be recognized along with LEGAL RIGHTS.

We cannot wait to see LAWS based on LOVE of a parent rather than BIOLOGICAL LINK and GENDER.

We cannot wait to see the day when there are equal intersex rights. Will it come at the cost of SPLITTING innocent IVF siblings?

We cannot wait to see the day when same-sex marriages are legal. Will it be based on lying, cheating and fraud OR two men or women happily and honestly in love with each other?

With a pragmatic approach, sadly with marriages there are divorces. Will “same-sex” divorce hold the BEST INTEREST of the CHILDREN?

We cannot wait to see two males raising their lovely children because then fathers will get social acceptance as as the primary care provider and NOT used as a weapon against them.

We cannot wait to see a STOP to “normalization surgery” in intersex as demanded by us and as a Special Rapporteur on Torture at UN also stated so unequivocally. The difference is we demanded it based on first-hand experience while the UN did it based on academic expertise and so their voice is MORE POWERFUL and is heard. 

We cannot wait to see global reconciliation of “third gender” legal rights for binational third genders. While countries allow LEGAL recognition of third gender, other countries only recognize a binary gender. When a “third gender” person from such a country immigrates to a “binary gender” country, how will it be reconciled legally? And what about the basic human rights of the “third gender” person wanting to be recognized as “third gender”? Will they have to “give up” their legal recognition in order to immigrate to a “binary gender” country?

We JUMPED through SEVERAL HOOPS and answered the gut-wrenching questions in our own way, be human. Sadly, the approach of secrecy and lies is being used as a WEAPON against our innocent children. No parent would remain silent. Punish the criminals, punish the one who failed to report the crimes, but why punish the innocent children? Bestowing HUMAN RIGHTS as an individual where the LAWS fall short is WRONG because it PUNISHES innocent CHILDREN. Demand for change in LAWS, we look forward to the healthy discussion with TRUTH and FACTS.

Oppression, persecution, suppression of facts, and so on historically have been used when dealing with rights of minorities and social issues. Over time, all the tactics fail and LAWS are passed to give equality and sometimes even recognizing the people who fought for it, albeit posthumously. Is that hypocrisy? Avoiding the inevitable and punishing the innocent is a failed approach, let us try something different. TRUTH maybe? Let us see what the future brings. We are hopeful its a ray of sunshine glistening with TRUTH and EQUALITY.