Tag Archives: IVF siblings

Immigrant Texas Intersex Adult Niti Atre Forced Girl Child, A Sister Into Slavery for 6+ Years in India by Knowingly Making Her Stateless

Immigrant Texas Intersex Adult Niti Atre Forced Girl Child, A Sister Into Slavery for 6+ Years in India by Knowingly Making Her Stateless

Texas Board Certified Houston Family Law Attorney Adam Morris - A Texan Girl Child Deleter

Some infertile adult in USA go to ANY extreme to have a child by exploiting innocent children and women from a third world country. Do they expect to GET AWAY forever from the long arms of a fair and just US judicial system? Niti Atre also played a VERY SMART game to have a child as an infertile adult – by exploiting and deleting the biological sister of the child she claims to love and separating him from his entire biological family. It’s one thing to love a child but it’s another thing to exploit innocent children and women from a third world country. Read more here on how to do it. Laws have NOT changed meaning any SMART, RICH, POWERFUL adult can repeat this formula to exploit innocent children and women to have a non-biological child!

Immigrant Texas Intersex Adult Niti Atre, A Girl Child Deleter Knowingly Making Her Stateless and NEVER came to help ensuring Slavery of a Texan Child in India

Niti Atre may be a very soft-spoken and approachable adult except when you want to have a child with her since Niti Atre is infertile and with her legal status cannot have a child. We all know what happens when Niti Atre is mad, she DELETES a girl child and NOT any girl child but the biological sister of the child Niti Atre claims to love. If Niti Atre is truly wanting to UNITE us the siblings and whtever happened to me is NOT HER INTENT, all Niti Atre, a girl child delete, had to do was SHOW UP in India once I was born like she promised to in writing. In normal world, we call it accountability and responsibility for NOT endangering welfare of a child or neglecting a child or not abandoning a child.  Read more here

Immigrant Texas Intersex Adult Niti Atre, A Girl Child Deleter Knowingly Making Her Stateless and NEVER came to help ensuring Slavery of a Texan Child in India

Niti Atre’s birth condition is not just a medical and social condition but also a legal condition just like mine. If I am being HELD to account as a little girl child for Niti Atre NOT SHOWING UP and hence her legal status due to her birth condition impacts my rights, it’s only fair we discuss both. In reality, both Niti Atre and I are fighting the SAME laws, so it is a LEGAL issue. Niti Atre, a girl child deleter, is born “XY genetic male” but socially considers herself as a female. This is the reason why she is infertile and this is the reason for IVF/Surrogacy and why I and my brother were born into this beautiful world – with our own “birth condition” which laws address differently than “social norms”. Socially, I am also a sister and a daughter as a child born during the same marriage but legally Niti Atre, a girl child deleter, had me deleted and I have NO legal identity. If anyone finds it offensive to call Niti Atre a “XY genetic male”, which technically is true but socially offensive, I also find it offensive if anyone calls me and my genetic brother “half-siblings” which technically is true but socially offensive. Read more here about Niti Atre and her exploits as a girl child deleter.

If you have any information to the contrary and feel that they were also lied to by Niti Atre or kept in the dark which eventually led to deleting a girl child, please come forward with the truth as it can HELP save lives.

Compassion is Evil, Worse Your Innocent IVF Children will be Punished

Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated. – As the Borg said in their quest for intergalactic supremacy and space terrorism in a fictional movie/TV series. IVF-CrueltyCompassion is evil, worse compassion is so heinous that your innocent, voiceless children should be punished for crimes they did not commit.

Much like a black slave in 1800, a woman without suffrage rights in 1900, a gay in 2000s, the plight of an IVF father who is an immigrant and an intersex family is much the same – NO rights. Worse, its the innocent, voiceless IVF children born out of compassion of several are being punished for crimes they did not commit. If making IVF babies is an international industry, where are the laws to regulate it? More importantly, do innocent IVF children and families deserve equal rights and protection?

If there is COMPASSION for an intersex, immigrant, infertile person, why not COMPASSION for innocent IVF children and families?

Slavery was legal in 1800 but wrong, Women could not exercise their rights in 1900 legally but wrong, Gays were forcefully closeted legally but wrong, how are international IVF/surrogacy parents and their IVF children treated in 2014? Are they human beings who deserve basic human decency and respect or are they to be used, abused and discarded? We can continue to pontificate that an immigrant, intersex, IVF family has NO rights to have children through IVF legally in 2000s but the FACT is two lovely IVF children have been born, now what? Do we give them equal rights as children or do we punish them because their parents committed the heinous crime of being compassionate?

Nothing against natural born children, most IVF parents are natural born, but when a child is born through IVF/surrogacy, it includes compassion of not just the two parents but also the donor, surrogate, the IVF clinic, the doctor, the embryologist, and so on. Abandoning an IVF child is a slap on the face of all these people and everyone’s humanity. Compassion is at the central CORE of IVF and to help a fellow human being. Why is it evil? Why is it so heinous that two innocent IVF siblings should be separated for showing compassion? The IVF children are NOT wrong, the laws are WRONG just like the slavery laws of 1800, the anti-women laws of 1900, the anti-gay laws of 2000 and now we have the anti-IVF laws of 2000s and counting.

Resistance is NOT futile. Borg are a fictional character. Here in the real world, we have to deal with real, live, breathing human beings, little IVF children who may be abandoned or forcefully left stateless and in legal limbo. We have to answer questions like why can’t I see my brother in America. Or why can’t I go to Canada to see snow? Or why can’t we go to Africa to see giraffes and zebras? Or why couldn’t I be together with my brother and father when you went to Alaska in the snow? And the one question that drives the nail in the head, through your heart and into the ground is why should we help others? Living in India is a daily learning lesson in people around you who are destitutely poor, children who may not be able to go to school, children who are hungry or may have less toys or no toys than your child. Do you teach your child compassion which is considered EVIL? You would have to meet the abandoned IVF child personally to figure out if she has been raised right and whether compassion is at the centre of her upbringing.

In any war, there is an unwritten rule to spare the women and children. Nowadays, women are also in front line combat meaning in a war they are equal targets. Also, wars are getting to be more non-conventional where terrorists without a state are the main adversaries and we are moving towards a mantra of SPARING the innocent – children first, women and men. Raising an abandoned IVF child meaning she was born with compassion of others but placed willfully in legal limbo by IVF terrorists with NO compassion for her is the choice of a parent to SPARE the innocent children. Is the system able to do the same and spare the innocent IVF siblings and let them be united?

An Indian citizen IVF child in the US is DENIED to come to India to see his IVF sister because Government of India has NOT signed a Hague treaty while the US has laws requiring a “genetic link” between a US parent and a child born outside the US meaning how can an infertile American bring an IVF child born outside the US legally? These are issues for the respective governments to decide. But spare the innocent IVF siblings. Let compassion be what it is, let it not be depicted as EVIL. What is needed is laws for international IVF/surrogacy in best interest of children and not shoving facts under the carpet and denying DUE PROCESS to innocent.

Just like the black slave of 1800, the woman fighting for her suffrage rights in 1900, gays in 2000, IVF children and families in 2000s and counting deserve equal rights and basic human dignity and respect. Acknowledging the problem comes first and eventually a solution is arrived at – let it not be decades or centuries, let it be before the innocent childhoods of IVF siblings expires. Resistance is NOT futile. Compassion is NOT evil. IVF children born to a father are not “illegitimate” as the language in the laws claim. What is wrong is the archaic laws and people who want to exploit them for personal benefit. Because willfully abandoning an innocent child AND willfully splitting loving siblings can NEVER be right NOR justifiable. Laws will change with time and these acts will be criminal while the “illegitimate” IVF children of today will be “legal” because its the right answer. Compassion will not become evil or illegal, breaking laws will remain illegal.

If I Had a Passport…

1) I would go to America to see my brotherivf-passport

2) I want to play with my brother’s toys he shows on Skype

3) I want to spend only ONE night in America

4) I want to play in the snow

5) I want to tie Rakhi and make a drawing (card) for my brother

6) I want to go ice skating (skates with knives)

7) I want to go to London

8) I want to go see giraffes and zebras

9) I want to go dancing (Ok, don’t really need a passport for that)

10) I will become as astronaut and go to space as I will NOT need a passport.

These are the wishes of an innocent 4 year old IVF sister for her IVF brother. Two innocent siblings who have been deliberately separated due to NO CRIMES of their own. As a humanity, as a global citizen of the world, why can’t we rise above and spare the innocent children and the most vulnerable? What message do we send our future generations like these innocent IVF siblings, that breaking laws is more rewarding than changing laws? That creating human children through IVF is just a “commercial transaction” with NO responsibility or accountability for the innocent human life? In an ever increasing globalized world where services are sought globally, the laws, the legal jurisdictions need to become ONE in cases where the impact is global. Especially where the “service” involves innocent human children. We cannot and will not allow our innocent children to be used as “human chatal” rather as a beacon of hope that change is coming. IVF is all about change, are the laws ready for it?

Help UNITE innocent IVF siblings by securing a passport. http://chn.ge/1oltFl5

Corollaries Between IVF and Travesty of Justice

There are several current events which bring attention to the travesty of justice and the plight of innocent IVF children who were born ahead of their times. Do we as humanity ivf-travesty-of-justiceincluding the compassionate egg donors, the surrogates, the IVF clinic who all had their compassionate hands in bringing these innocent children into the world simply stand on the side as atrocious crimes are occurring against the innocent IVF children or do we raise our voice and say the truth? Here are some corollaries to the plight of innocent, voiceless IVF children and the travesty of justice. The American Way is to maintain transparency, find a corrective action for the benefit of others and move forward. Shoving the issues of intersex, immigrant, IVF family under the carpet is not a solution.

Travesty of Justice – Need to Move Forward with Truth

1) Its not 1958, its 2014
If men were having babies, we’d have different policies.” – said US President Obama on March 20, 2014
If gay men or single men or intersex men who have babies through IVF with help from compassionate egg donors and surrogates, do they have equal rights as parents? More importantly do their IVF children have equal rights? US President Obama is a LGBTI rights supporter but still does not grasp the fact that US laws are archaic when it comes to lifestyles of LGBTI families. In 2014 and before, men are already having babies through IVF  and are the primary caregivers for their IVF babies, where are the EQUAL rights if not for the parents sake then at least for the sake of innocent, voiceless IVF children, Or do we have to wait till 2058? It is not that Obama would NOT support equal rights for IVF children and families, it is more so that most people are oblivious to the state of affairs relating to IVF and the implicit injustice.
2) Russia, Crimea and the West
‪Russia‬ prevented adoption of a resolution today. But it cannot change the aspirations and destiny of the Ukrainian people. And it cannot deny the truth displayed today that there is overwhelming international opposition to its dangerous actions.” — Ambassador Samantha Power after a ‪UN‬ Security Council Vote on a Resolution on ‪‎Ukraine‬, March 15, 2014
Replace “Russia” with “US Justice System” and “Ukraine” with “IVF Children” and you will get the gist of our case. As an intersex, immigrant, IVF family, we may be ahead of our times but are not wrong. The status quo states only way for an IVF parent to enjoy custody of his IVF son is by abandoning his IVF daughter, the sister that his son wanted and implicitly SPLITTING innocent siblings. It will take time to sink in and when it does, everyone will realize that saving an abandoned child and uniting the innocent children is the only right answer. It is a fact that US laws have separated the innocent siblings, although inadvertently, because the perpetrators and her co-conspirators manipulated the US justice system. Now that the truth is known, now that IVF brother wants to be with his IVF sister, is the US Justice system listening to the victims or is in denial about having been manipulated? It is time to move forward and the simplest answer is in uniting the innocent siblings. Punishing innocent for crimes they did not commit is not justice. Especially punishing innocent, voiceless victims who are children who have been exploited is not the right answer.
3) Malaysia Airlines Flight 370
“The international aviation legal system does not anticipate the complete disappearance of an aircraft,” said Brian Havel, a law professor and director of the International Aviation Law Institute at DePaul University in Chicago. “We just don’t have the tools for that at present.” – March 19, 2014
Similarly, the international legal system does not anticipate dealing with an intersex, immigrant, IVF family in the 2000s. There simply are NO tools for this scenario. So SPLITTING the innocent IVF siblings is the best answer we can offer. By the time the “powers-to-be” figure it all out, the innocent childhoods will have been expired and they will have grown up into adults. All we will have left is a “SORRY” like saying sorry to an exonerated man who has been convicted for a crime he NEVER committed. The irony of course is that while exonerated convicts are mostly freed and proven right based on DNA evidence, the same DNA evidence is NOT utilized in the best interest of innocent children. Instead the GENDER of the male IVF father is used against the innocent children. Abuse a male all you want but can you please leave his innocent children alone? And what about gay fathers, single fathers, intersex fathers, fathers in a straight relationship but have an infertile spouse, what about the IVF children of such fathers, should they also be similarly persecuted or spared? The only right answer to this complex situation is uniting the innocent, voiceless IVF siblings.
4) Change in treatment of IVF mothers and IVF immigration laws.
In January 2014, US Secretary of State John Kerry released a directive which would allow IVF mothers who only carried their IVF children to term “at par” for immigration purposes. Current US laws require a “genetic link” between US parent and a child born outside the US. As a result, if an IVF mother had used donor eggs but carried the IVF children to term and physically gave birth to the IVF children outside the US, the innocent IVF children would NOT be considered US citizens because the IVF mother had “NO Genetic Link”.
We applaud this move and it is a step in the right direction, especially from the perspective of the innocent IVF children. When will IVF children of IVF fathers get similar EQUAL laws? If an immigrant IVF father has an IVF child outside the US then the IVF child must be born to a “US Citizen mother” OR “US green card mother”. If the IVF father used donor eggs and surrogate in a foreign country then without a “US mother” he cannot get his IVF child to the US even though he has a “genetic link”. Or should IVF be banned for gay fathers, single fathers, intersex fathers, fathers in a straight relationship but where the woman is infertile?
Why is there discrimination onto the innocent IVF children based on a parent’s biology and gender? When will justice arrive and when will the laws catch up with technology?

IVF Fiction : Top 10 False Claims About IVF Children and Families

Below are 10 claims justifying separating innocent IVF brother and sister, followed by the facts that the assertions ignore or distort. The irony is that bysiblings-together-ivf denying facts, we are denying justice and more importantly not willing to change the laws which means only more innocent victims. When will we wake up and accept the facts and deliver justice? If a mother tries to unite her children, does a father have the same rights to unite his children? More importantly, what do the siblings want – is it about their lives or others lives?

Claim 1 : There is only one child of the marriage.

Fact : When the divorce was filed in the US, the second IVF sibling was on the way and 6 months term in a surrogate’s womb with every intention of having both siblings grow up together. Why was the IVF pregnancy deliberately NOT declared in the divorce petition? Was abandoning the second IVF child pre-meditated? The divorce was filed in July 2009, the second child was born in September 2009, the divorce was granted in May 2010. How is there ONLY ONE child of the marriage? If the siblings were united and no child was abandoned, there would be no discussions or issues. Are we denying rights to innocent IVF children by making them legally invisible? Is this a repeat of baby scoop era simply because IVF fathers, families, children are not yet “socially acceptable”?

Claim 2 : The IVF children born in a marriage have equal rights

Fact: As per prevailing US laws, IVF children born to IVF fathers like Maulik using an anonymous donor and surrogate are considered “child born out of wedlock”. Its confusing, is there a “marriage” or not?

Claim 3 :  IVF children and families have equal rights and are not discriminated

Fact : This is only an issue because an innocent child is being alienated from his siblings and family. Plus, the US laws have been heartlessly enforced on other IVF families to separate loving families. US law requires a “genetic link” between a US parent and a child born outside the US, the right answer is to fix the law and NOT alienate innocent IVF siblings. When a DNA mismatch occurs, why can’t the innocent IVF child still be allowed to grow with the intended parents if they do not mind? Is parenting based on love and character or biology and gender?

Claim 4 : I am the mother suggesting also the primary caregiver.

Fact : Being a mother and primary caregiver are two separate things. How does a person recovering from multiple severely traumatic surgeries and medical treatments who has taken leave from work due to physical ailments ALSO be a primary caregiver for an infant? One of the surgeries is so severe has been called for a STOP by the UN Special Rapporteur on Torture – what are the effects of this torturous treatment to the patient, spouse and children around them? There is sympathy and compassion and maybe someone else took the position of “primary caregiver” – maybe the other adult in the family – Maulik, the biological IVF father? In an IVF family where a child is born using an anonymous egg donor and surrogate and the father is the primary caregiver during the tender years of the IVF child, who is the “stereotypical mother”? More importantly, what are the feelings of the innocent child who has bonded with the father based on facts and not stereotypes?

Claim 5 : I love the child.

Fact : No one doubts that. But do you love yourself more? Do others love the child LESS? One cannot abandon a sibling to get custody of her brother. What will the brother and sister feel by denying them a childhood together? Do the innocent IVF children have basic human dignity and respect or are they property to be trafficked and abandoned and placed in legal limbo with no regard for their humanity? Denying facts is denying justice. There are still people in this world who deny the Nazi holocaust, is that justice for the millions of victims and survivors?

Claim 6 : This marriage is legal.

Fact : This is an intersex marriage. Any laws are based on a simple fact – that it should be repeatable. Can other intersex people ALSO legally marry in India, immigrate to the US as a derivative spouse of a marriage and get US citizenship as per prevailing laws? The right answer is to accept the facts, change the laws for all intersex families instead of creating victims out of people who tried to give human rights to people where government itself felt short. Are human rights of such people protected? Or is the message to NOT help intersex people?

Claim 7 : The son deserves to be with his [biological] father.

Fact : This is what the US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said in 2009 about a son, Sean Goldman, in Brazil being united with his father in the US. Sean was living with his biological maternal grandparents and step-father, were they not giving him food, shelter, education, opportunity for growth or was he being abused – the “standard” gauges used by courts? The rights answer is do the right thing. Why is Vedant being alienated from his father, his primary caregiver, his sister, his extended biological family?

Claim 8 : Intersex people have equal rights, IVF families have equal rights.

Fact : Intersex people cannot legally marry, cannot have children genetically. US laws require a “genetic link” between US parent and child born outside the US. Then how does an intersex person legally get a child to the US? Abandoning a sister to get her brother is not the right answer. Breaking the laws for one person while others are still being victimized is not the right answer.

Claim 9 : IVF fathers are NOT discriminated, more importantly, his IVF children are not discriminated.

Fact : The IVF son is in the US on an Indian passport. If he is a US citizen because his father is a US citizen then given the same logic, his sister in India is also a US citizen. Why is she being DENIED a US passport? More importantly because both IVF siblings are land-locked on two separate continents, they have NEVER met. Where is the humanity, the logic to punish innocent victims for crimes they did not commit? You can fool them now as they are voiceless and too young but once they grow up, what answer will you give them – love? Truth and facts go a lot farther. Changing laws to fit the needs of the 21st century is the right answer, SPLITTING innocent siblings is not. In January 2014, Secretary Kerry issued a policy where IVF mothers who have no genetic link but gave birth to IVF children would be considered “at par” as mothers for passing US citizenship rights to IVF children. This is after years of showing rigidity. It was also made retroactive, a rare occurrence. Why not something similar for immigrant IVF father and his IVF children if not for his sake then at least for his innocent IVF children’s sake?

Claim 10: IVF family rights are isolated and rare

Fact : White, black, Asian, others, single, straight, gay, intersex fathers are ALL affected by the lack of IVF laws if they attempt to have a child through IVF. There can be a DNA mismatch, they may be immigrants, and so on. Worse, the gender of a “biological father”  is being inadvertently used to punish his IVF children – why? This problem will need to be solved in the 21st century – the sooner, the lesser innocent victims, the lesser lost childhoods.

We are confident that in the future there will be equal LGBTI rights, there will be equal IVF children and family rights. But abandoning an IVF child will still remain a crime, it will still remain a crime against the humanity of the innocent IVF child. If we have laws to protect innocent children from pedophiles, why are there no laws to protect children from IVFphiles? Moving forward with truth is the only way forward.

Helping is a SIN, Being Compassionate is a Crime for your IVF Children

In 2014, it is still a crime for a father to have IVF children with help of compassionate egg donor and surrogate. It is such a heinous crime that his IVF father-sin-ivf-children-crime-compassion-helpchildren must be punished by splitting them. It is such an atrocious crime for a parent to have children that the only way to resolve it is by splitting the IVF siblings and splitting an innocent child from his primary care provider. It is such a barbaric crime that the innocent, voiceless IVF children deserve to be in IVF purgatory with denial of their rights as a human being as they are “legally invisible”. It is such an heinous crime to be compassionate and helpful towards fertility that a fertile parent must choose between two IVF children on two different continents! The Nazi lifestyle from Sophie’s Choice is a stark reminder of the barbaric choices a parent is forced to make among their children whom they love equally. Secrecy and stigma are the real culprits. In honest cultures, the genetic father gets sole custody of both IVF siblings provided there is no fraud, conspiracy, lies or breaking laws.For those who want to pontificate about how “offensive” it is to talk about someone’s infertility need to first deal with infertility in a marriage without the “I”, what is offensive is to “commodify” innocent IVF children and deny them basic human rights, dignity and respect of a human being. Regardless of who you are, as a parent, it behooves you to speak up when your child does not get the basic human dignity and respect they deserve. That is not offensive, that is stating facts. And if you do not like the truth, maybe you shouldn’t have committed such horrible crimes. The US laws require a “genetic link” between a parent and a child born outside the US, then how will infertile parents get a child legally? Is helping an infertile person a SIN? Is it so terrible that their child should be taken away from them? Is it so terrible that their child should be split from his siblings? Is it so terrible that an innocent child has to be abandoned in order to get her brother as a trophy of an infertile person? Do children have rights? Are children human beings? Or are IVF children “manufactured” people purely for the whims of people? What’s next, human cloning and skip IVF? If you are infertile, you do IVF for a child and if you need a heart or a kidney or a liver, you do human cloning, right? In plane flights, passengers with small children are given preference in seating, but no similar compassion for IVF children who are in legal limbo? When crossing the street with children, traffic stops to let the children cross but no similar treatment for IVF children in legal limbo? When children are abused within the four walls of a home, it is a crime but no similar treatment for abusing and silencing IVF children?

The issue here is stereotypes and bias being used against innocent children. The issue here is lack of laws for IVF children and families has been maliciously used against the children. The issue here is it is one thing to silence and abuse an adult but when you abuse someone’s child(ren), then the parent speaks up against the atrocities and crimes regardless of whether one is immigrant, IVF, intersex, infertile, straight, gay, lesbian, white, black, Asian, whatever. Don’t mess with Texas, don’t mess with children of a loving parent. Where is the justice for an abandoned child? Where is the justice for a brother wanting a sibling? Where is the justice for a sister wanting to meet her big brother? Where is the basic human dignity and respect that every child deserves? No more discrimination based on birth type.

As a member of an immigrant, intersex, infertile family, we had children through IVF – probably a dream come true for most intersex people. What has the government done to pass laws to make all this legal so that ALL intersex, infertile, immigrants can also ENJOY the same? Is splitting innocent IVF siblings the ONLY way to achieve this? Where is the legislative help when we need it if not in the adults best interest than at least in the best interest of the children?  Don’t try to give human rights within the confines of your private home; do it publicly. Because when laws cannot guarantee basic human rights to an immigrant, intersex, IVF family, the same lack of laws can be used against your humanity to be helpful, compassionate and understanding. The very ideals that you stand for can be turned around against you. If the US justice system believes that infertile parents deserve children then why aren’t their laws in sync in the best interest of the child? That way infertile people do not have the need to break the laws and manipulate the justice system for personal, selfish ulterior motives which places innocent children at risk and in legal limbo. That way when well-intentioned parents of IVF children born outside the US have an unforeseen “DNA mismatch”, they can still bring their child to the US and raise them lovingly rather than breaking laws or living in exile. Or should we punish the innocent, voiceless IVF children for crimes they did not commit by sticking them in an orphanage? That would be “commodifying”. It is already happening, question is when will we wake up?

In an intersex marriage, only one spouse is fertile. If they do IVF then they use an egg donor and a surrogate using the husband’s sperm. Legally, the child born out of this arrangement is termed “child born out of wedlock”. Why? There is a term in the English dictionary and it is OFFENSIVE. Why is this offensive language denigrating all IVF children still on the law books in 2014? Does this mean all intersex, infertile couples children are “child born out of wedlock”? Are there legal ramifications, stigma, secrecy on the innocent IVF child? Its a vicious circle – due to secrecy and stigma, there is not enough education and awareness and therefore it is not a political issue and therefore there is no need to change the offensive and unequal prevailing laws for IVF children and families. It is 2014 and it is time to speak up looking ahead at the 21st century. It is time to have equal rights for IVF children and families. It is time to have a dream when the love and character of a parent will count more than the biology and gender of a parent both in family courts and immigration courts so that the justice system is NOT MANIPULATED. Results count and the current result is a brother separated from a sister he wanted, a girl child who was abandoned, aging grandparents who cannot see their first grandson, a grandson who cannot see his aging grandparents, a father who was abused and silenced for showing love, compassion and help, two innocent children who are subjected to the same REPEAT strategy of silence, secrecy, lies and abuse. No More. The IVF children are humans too and deserve EQUAL human rights, not secrecy and lies. We tried the approach of secrecy and lies and it is horrendous, traumatic and heinous.

Is it a crime to be compassionate to an intersex person? Legally intersex people cannot marry. Until 2013, LGBTI immigration of spouses was not legal in the US, so what if someone lied and frauded the government before then? Some intersex people have to go through a very traumatic surgery which the UN Special Rapporteur on Torture in 2013 called for a stop. If its “torture” for the intersex person, is there any trauma or torture on the spouse and children of intersex marriage when the surgery is done during the marriage? If the spouse stayed quiet and showed compassion as a spouse caregiver, is that such a big crime that not only he suffered abuse as a silent caregiver but now it needs to be repeated on his innocent children by splitting the siblings? Was it wrong to stay silent? Was it wrong to show compassion?

It is a miracle that the spouse has survived. The reasons why an intersex person is suicidal are the exact same reasons why an abused spouse caregiver of an intersex person may die. To have the trauma, secrecy, lies, abuse being repeated on his innocent IVF children by splitting them up calls for a change, one cannot stay quiet in the best interest of the children. The case is not about IVF, it is not about intersex, it is not about compassion, it is not about being helpful, it is not about love, it is not about infertility, it is about LIES, LIES, LIES. And any parent, IVF or not, when it comes to their child will say the truth if they truly love their child. Children also grow up one day into adults. While they may be brainwashed and alienated but as a parent we want to give a better world for our children. I have a dream that by the time the IVF children grow up, there will be equal rights for IVF children and families.

To Kill A Mocking Bird – Revisited in IVF

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.” – To Kill A Mockingbirdcropped-IVF-Spouse-Rights-Updated-e1372912834694.png

The year is 2013. We are still living in a world with unequal rights for IVF children and families. World has
witnessed women suffrage, civil rights, freedom from colonialism, apartheid, interracial marriages, single parenthood, baby scoop era, gay rights and we are onto the next frontier – intersex rights and rights for IVF children and families. Each issue is about fighting “social acceptance” of its time. Is 2013 a good time to start having a discussion of equal rights for intersex and IVF children and families or are we too early? Will there be others who benefit from having equal rights for IVF children and families and equal rights for intersex families?

As a left-behind parent of an abandoned IVF daughter and watching her turn 4 years, every moment has been worth it. We celebrate her existence and learn from the sacrifices why every human life deserves equal respect and dignity including her. There are no winners here but to punish innocent IVF children who are the most undeserving victims for the crimes they did not commit are the biggest losers. As adults, we must bring their rights as an individual to the forefront. I have a dream that one day it will not be the gender of a parent but the love and character of a parent which will define parenthood. More importantly, innocent siblings will not be judged or discriminated based on the gender of their parent.

For those who claim its a minority and tries to somehow justify the unequal laws, is that what you would say and teach your child?

For those who claim its one bad apple and let it go, is that what you would say and teach your child or teach them to stand up for their rights and others rights?

For those who claim just let it be, letting it be would mean accepting the dehumanization and disrespect for basic human dignity and that too our own child, will you as a parent let it be if your child was the victim?

The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience.” – To Kill A Mockingbird

What we are seeking is a solution to the catch 22 situation we are in as an immigrant, IVF family in 2013. We have been deliberately placed into this situation due to lack of laws. Most other people just “give up” and go on in life or are unaffected by the lack of immigration laws for IVF children because the child and parent are both in the same country like the case of a California surrogate who is raising the IVF twins the biological parents abandoned – but they are all within the boundaries of the US. Inspiration comes from a Canadian couple who moved to India for 6 years before they were allowed to bring their IVF child to Canada – power of staying UNITED and saying the TRUTH. After waiting for 6 years, they were miraculously granted to take their IVF child to Canada on “humanitarian grounds” and an “exception” to the law was granted. So there is a chance?

Why cannot two IVF siblings be UNITED based on the same “humanitarian grounds”? Why cannot the two IVF siblings be taken out of the “catch 22” situation which has been created by clever manipulation of the US laws or rather lack thereof. If gay rights existed in the US in 2009, the two IVF children would NOT be separated.

As per a June 2011 US government report, the right answer is for the laws to catch up with IVF technology then isn’t this the perfect example why? Two innocent IVF siblings are being punished even if inadvertently for crimes they did not commit. What would be the disadvantage of having equal rights or having a discussion on immigrant IVF rights?

A lot of countries like India, Nepal have long recognized the “third gender” and so have laws that are specific to issues that affect families of third gender. In 2011, Australia and later New Zealand, started allowing “I” or “O” as an intermediate gender for intersex. In 2013, Germany will become the first western Europe country to recognize the undetermined gender for intersex. When will US offer the same? More importantly when will US change the laws to address the specific issues that affect intersex families and children of intersex families like IVF children?

IVFphile – A New Criminal

With changing times, there are changing circumstances. As parents, we have new challenges and new megan law - pedophile - IVFphileareas to protect our kids from. When one sees an innocent, voiceless IVF daughter due to NO FAULT of her own in a LEGAL LIMBO, what do you tell her? In a world where rights of adult are MORE POWERFUL than child’s rights or human rights, how does an innocent, voiceless child ask for her rights? As an IVF parent, the question is how do we move forward NOW? What is the path for relief for victims? There are 7 billion people in this world. Sadly, some are pedophiles who prey on innocent, voiceless children. We have laws to protect the innocent children AND provide a path for relief as victims because of a few bad apples. The pedophiles maybe parents themselves but still commit such atrocious crimes against innocent children. As an IVF parent left with an abandoned IVF child in LEGAL LIMBO, where is the relief for victim? How does one move forward with an improper LEGAL STATUS? Do people in LEGAL LIMBO have rights? We need ANSWERS to our IVF daughter’s questions.

If we can have laws against pedophiles, why can’t we have laws against IVFphiles to protect IVF children? Who is an IVFphile?

IVFphile is a person who commissioned a pregnancy through IVF where they may or may not have a biological link with the child and then abandons the IVF pregnancy midway with no responsibility or accountability for the IVF child and/or the surrogate. The term “biological link” is subjective and is a separate discussion including immigration laws. Suffice it to say, it has double standards as per convenience sake of the adult and NOT the child. Are we as a society saying that as long as you are affluent, one can place “orders” for IVF baby and later when they change their minds and not want the IVF child; the IVF child has NO rights or there is NO accountability or responsibility towards the IVF child or the surrogate or the left-behind family? It spells HORROR life. And that’s what IVFphiles do. When an IVFphile abandons a IVF child domestically, at least the left-behind family have options. When an IVFphile abandons a IVF child internationally, due to immigration laws (or rather lack thereof), the left-behind family may be SPLIT. The IVF child may be STATELESS and in LEGAL LIMBO due to NO FAULT of theirs. Most IVF pregnancies do NOT end this way and IVF parents including non-biological parents go through great sacrifices to ensure the best interest of the IVF child, IVFphiles don’t.

In 2005, a Canadian couple had opted for IVF in India but due to an accident at the IVF clinic in India, the sample got swapped and thus there was a DNA mismatch. As per prevailing immigration laws, the IVF child could NOT immigrate to Canada without a “biological link”. The non-biological IVF parents gave up everything in Canada and moved to India for 6 years and fought for 6 years to have the IVF child legally taken to Canada. It is NOT about the biology, it is about LOVE and TRUTH and while they had 6 horrific years they never planned or imagined, their prayers were answered because they spoke the TRUTH. In the end, what’s right is right and what’s wrong is wrong.

The case for laws for IVFphiles 

1) Any technology can be misused and we MUST have laws to protect and safeguard the innocent and voiceless. In its current infancy of IVF laws, we need to RAISE the bar and get EQUAL laws for IVF children and families. Welcome to the 21st century!

2) In a natural born pregnancy, if a woman is pregnant, she cannot just decide to “abandon” the pregnancy mid-way, the child is physically inside her womb and there are laws that GOVERN abortion. Then why can an IVF parent give up a child with no responsibility or accountability? What about the risk to the surrogate?

3) If a woman is pregnant beyond the second trimester, most countries regulate abortions if the woman no longer wants the child either due to medical complications or otherwise. Should IVF pregnancies also be REGULATED if an IVF parent abandons an IVF pregnancy midway in the second trimester or later? Is the IVF child SAME or EQUAL as a natural born child?

4) If a man abandons a natural born pregnancy, he can still be held accountable and responsible for the child. If a man OR woman who use a surrogate to have an IVF child and then decide to abandon the IVF pregnancy mid-way, should there be ANY legal implications? What about the welfare of the child? What about the welfare of the surrogate? Who will raise the child? Did the IVF child agree to be born? What’s next, human cloning for personal amusement?

5) If a man abandons a pregnant woman mid-way through the pregnancy, the left-behind woman and the child get support and are protected under laws. If a man or woman abandons an IVF pregnancy, what are the laws to protect the welfare of the left-behind parent and IVF child?

6) If a DONOR who signed forms indicating no relationship OR responsibility for an IVF child can be held accountable for child support, why cannot an abandoning commissioning parent for IVF child ALSO be held equally accountable?

The abandoning of an IVF pregnancy is one thing. But the effects of it are where we need LAWS and REGULATIONS in the best interest of the IVF children and families, donors, and surrogates. We have to begin with proper LEGAL STATUS for the IVF child so that they can DEMAND their legal rights. Can we prevent more IVFphiles? Are we protected from IVFphiles even if its just a few bad apples?

Just like pedophiles, IVFphiles may also be parents living amongst us but we may never know the true nature until it is revealed. A parent of a child who has been victimized by a pedophile first protects the child and tries to console them depending on their age if they understand what exactly happened. But certain scars NEVER go away and one can only understand as that victimized child and the parents. A left-behind IVF parent of an IVF child who has been victimized by an IVFphile ALSO first protects the child and tries to console them based on their understanding. But certain scars NEVER go away because every IVF birth is a journey deep with an emotional and financial roller coaster ride and possibly multiple failed attempts.

The difference is victims of pedophiles have a legal recourse with relief for victims, where are the laws to protect innocent, voiceless children and victims from IVFphiles? One can never escape justice especially of the crime against humanity kind. Nazi war criminals were brought to justice decades after the crimes because their crimes were horrific. Is deliberately making an innocent IVF child in a state of legal limbo (and thus denying them basic human rights and legal rights) a crime against humanity from the child’s perspective?