Tag Archives: immigration

Don’t Try Human Rights At Home

From the famous American lexicon, “Don’t try this at home, kids”, I have learnt my own American story, “Don’tEqual Human Rights - Father try to give human rights at home“. As a human being, regardless of our race, sex, gender, sexual orientation, religion, nationality, caste, creed, and other etc etc, we are FIRST a human being. It is natural to feel compassion for a fellow human being and sometimes as individuals are faced with deep moral, ethical, and legal question about “human rights”. In cases where the laws itself fall short in “human rights”, do not try to do so on your own within the confines of your home. It may boomerang and falsely project you as a devil for personal gains of others. For example, if you believe gay marriage should be legal but its not yet, then the right answer is to fight and wait for equal laws. Do not BREAK the law and marry and present a fraud marriage certificate and claiming it as a legal marriage. In the long term, it will NOT help you. Also other gays wanting to marry and who are honest will not get their rights. Worse, your children may be placed in LEGAL LIMBO and punished inadvertently for crimes they did not commit.

Two Sides Of The Same Coin

A person who tries to show by action “human rights” at home where laws itself falls short is also a person who is an activist by nature. Its in their DNA. They are two sides of the same coin. The point is you cannot REMOVE the activist from a person who strongly believes in human rights.

Be the Change You Want to See in the World” – Mahatma Gandhi

The right answer is to petition the government in a democratic forum and ask for change in laws, not break the laws. The right answer is to be allowed an opportunity to say the truth to your kids as age appropriate. The right answer is to say the truth with compassion and show independence with love. That way every participant’s human rights and respect for basic human dignity and respect are maintained. If they can fight for other people’s human rights in their own way in the confines of their home in secrecy, they can ALSO fight for their own human rights. And the fight only gets stronger when innocent, voiceless children are involved. And the fight get even stronger when the innocent, voiceless children are your own.

Degree Of Abuse

While morality and ethics cannot be enforced, can prevailing laws be enforced? And if degree of abuse is a scale to be used in imparting justice and relief for the victims, it is important to consider all the facts of the case.

1) We have every sympathy for an intersex person and our action speaks louder than words. It is a miracle to be still alive after being left for dead. Before you speak up, please show your credentials and experience in dealing as a young, male, spouse caregiver AND and international IVF father to show authority in your message. Just like being gay is a personal but having EQUAL gay rights is a public policy issue. Similarly, being married to an intersex person and NOT reporting the fraud is personal but having EQUAL rights for spouse of intersex and international IVF father is a public policy issue. Incidentally, a spouse of gay is also gay so both are affected equally by gay rights or lack thereof. What about rights of a spouse of intersex? Being in love with someone is personal but being “legally married” to someone is a public policy issue.

2) Being intersex is by birth meaning it is NOT in their control but being honest or lie about it in a sacred relationship like marriage is in their control. To lie, cheat, and fraud unsuspecting spouses is completely in their control. Regardless of a straight or gay or intersex or lesbian relationship, any relationship built on a foundation of lies is bound to fail not because you are intersex or gay or straight but because it was lying to the person you claimed to love. Is this love? Is this love? Is this love that I am feeling? Or is it abuse? An unsuspecting young, male, spouse caregiver of intersex was placed in the situation because of another human beings actions Vs. an intersex person’s condition is natural. Which is a degree of greater abuse?

3) Education and awareness is spreading about intersex. Secrecy, lies and stigma are bigger culprits. There are more and more advocacy groups and support groups who are petitioning for equal laws. The point is an intersex person has an “outlet” to voice their concerns and issues. Where are the support groups and advocacy groups for a young, male, spouse caregiver of intersex AND international IVF father to lend a “voice” for their issues and concerns and the inadequacy of the prevailing laws?

The specific list of abuses can be provided upon request both against the spouse and the children. We support equal rights for intersex but this is NO way to do it involving gross abuse of others rights especially innocent, voiceless children. Other intersex people who are being honest and living truthfully are leading the way for EQUAL intersex rights.

The Three I’s – Intersex, IVF, Immigration

If you had to narrow down the case into three things – the three “I”s, they are Intersex, IVF (infertility), Immigration. Historically IVFRightsand still true as we speak, all three areas are dealt with secrecy and lying including instances where laws are broken claiming “greater good” or humanitarian reasons. This case is a few decades or maybe a few centuries ahead of us. For example, women suffrage came at the beginning of 20th century but ask around and you will get the real pulse whether “equal rights” for women exist or not anywhere in the world now? The point is it takes decades if not centuries when it comes to issues of social justice. The BIGGER point is these kind of issues span generations and so an individual can spend an entire lifetime and still have NOTHING to show for it. But does that mean the HUMAN SPIRIT should be bottled up or let freedom ring? There is a TRIPLE WHAMMY in this case and all with issues of secrecy, lying, fraud, abuse, threats, crimes in the name of “greater good”. There is a fourth “I” and the fourth whammy, albeit the most important one and the sole reason for speaking up.

The Fourth “I”

The fourth “I” is INVISIBLE. Because of secrecy and lies, the laws are lacking in each case and the individuals affected by these scenarios are largely “invisible” in the eyes of the law. So how do we get JUSTICE and RELIEF for the VICTIMS when they are “invisible” in the eyes of law? Placing individuals and that too innocent children in a situation of LEGAL LIMBO is far worse than the condition itself. This case forces one to discuss ALL the “I”s simultaneously let alone any one single issue. “Uphill task” seems like a small word rather climbing Mt. Everest in January seems more appropriate – Death is inevitable. But the HUMAN SPIRIT is such it wants to persevere for TRUTH. It wants to at least TRY for the sake of innocent IVF children – the most vulnerable of vulnerable. Let DEATH come whether literally or through oppression, silence, false penalties, etc. – TRUTH cannot be stopped. The TRUTH MUST come out. Since this is a generational long fight, only the TRUTH will survive and eventually will offer a SOLUTION (equal laws).

End Secrecy with Truth and Respect

If you were to take any one issue at a time – be it intersex or IVF or Immigration, its a controversial topic by itself. Add to that the complexity of secrecy and lying and as a result one spends MORE TIME in defending the LIES rather than working towards a solution. As the saying goes, one lie leads to a thousand lies. If a person has committed Immigration fraud, they are NOT going to volunteer that information. If a person is intersex, they are NOT going to volunteer that information although more people are being honest realizing its the right way to go. By staying silent, their rights are being violated. If you are IVF, you do not even know what it means until you are 14-18. Too LATE to ask for ANY rights by then. That is assuming your parent or your guardian is HONEST with you. It is possible to start a whole new cycle of secrecy and lies again- the WORST thing to do to an innocent child. Regardless of what the solutions are for intersex, IVF, Immigration, by discussing the issues faced, we can end the secrecy with truth and respect.

Whether you are liberal or conservative,
Whether you are pro-life or pro-choice,
Whether you are pro-immigration or anti-immigration,
Whether you are pro-IVF or anti-IVF,
Whether you are pro-adoption or anti-adoption,
Whether you agree in same-sex marriage equality or opposed to it,

the FUNDAMENTAL issue is TRUTH. When you are presented with decisions in life from your conscience,

Will you choose TRUTH or SECRECY and LIES?
Will you SACRIFICE innocent children or UPHOLD their rights?
Will you fight to get RELIEF for VICTIMS or VICTIMIZE innocent, unsuspecting people?
Will you BREAK the LAWS or RESPECT the LAWS?
And where LAWS fall short, will you fight to get NEW LAWS or BREAK the LAWS and silence any voice against the TRUTH?

Where is the “greater good” in deliberately placing innocent children in LEGAL LIMBO? That directly results in taking AWAY their LEGAL rights.

Double Standards

There are double standards in life but when it affects innocent children, it is important to speak up. in betweenHaving double standards leaves you “in-between”, ironically, where a dysfunctional intersex family is left – neither here nor there.

1) If a mother who has raised her children is found to be an illegal immigrant, she is deported as per the laws.

But if an infertile person who is a genetic male has committed immigration fraud, there is no action against them?

2) If a genetic male attempts to breastfeed an IVF infant with no milk while the infant is hungry and cries incessantly, it is NOT child abuse and a crime?

But a biological mother who is a female and is breastfeeding her infant is faced with leaving the child in US while she is being deported?

3) Sean Goldman, a US citizen, was brought back to the US from Brazil with support at the highest level and as US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said, “a child belongs with his [biological] family”. Was the family in Brazil not taking care of his food, shelter, clothes, toys, and academics? Or it’s not enough?

Vedant Maulik Modi, an Indian citizen, an IVF child illegally in the US, is NOT allowed to go to India to be with his biological family and siblings. Why? As per US Immigration laws, Vedant cannot become a US citizen without a “biological link”. Then why keep Vedant away from his own country? What about his child rights and human rights?

4) If a father signs consent forms with his wife to have a child through IVF using donor sperm, a court of law can still take away his “fatherhood” and more importantly alienate an innocent child from a loving parent.

But if a woman signs a joint consent form with her spouse to use donor eggs and surrogate, the resulting IVF child is taken away from the loving father and his siblings he wanted and we call it justice? There are lot terms we can use to define these facts but “best interest of the child” does not come to mind.

5) A US resident, an infertile, intersex person or legal term is Eunuch in India can abandon an innocent IVF girl child in India after placing an order at the IVF drive-thru with no legal repurcusions AND acountability or responsibility for the child.

But there are multiple cases just about every day where criminal charges are filed against people for abandoning innocent children in the US. Are IVF children LESS of a child than a natural born child?

6) Same-sex marriage is on the agenda and hopefully equal rights are on the way and hopefully includes bi-national immigration reform too.

But equal rights for IVF children who may be children of same-sex couples is not on the agenda. When will equal rights for the most vulnerable of the vulnerable come into play?

7) Regardless of hypocrisy or hooliganism or criminalism outside the home, when it comes to children we seek to teach them values, truth, good Vs evil, compassion, love, and so on.

How can a person who has relentlessly lied, cheated, frauded outside the home AND inside the home can honestly be a role model for the innocent child? The foundation has to be strong. Whether being SELFISH is wrong is subjective except when it involves BREAKING THE LAWS.

8) Is breaking the laws, being a criminal the only way for other intersex people to have children? Is this the blueprint others should follow to claim love for a child?

We think it is better to DEMAND for equal rights for intersex for all so that innocent people are not victimized and abused. It is a blueprint that all can follow LEGALLY. Tony Briffa is leading and showing the way.

9) It would be a crime for a medical professional to lie on a medical record and maybe even insurance fraud. For example, a orthopedic surgeon cannot claim to have worked on the hand of the patient when actually it was the leg. Or a cardiologist has to document the correct valve they worked on in the heart and cannot document it is something they worked on the kidney.

Yet, if a triple MD doctor (meaning a highly educated professional) can document the “removal of male testes” from an intersex person as “removal of ovaries” knowing fully well as a triple MD that the patient never had any ovaries and is a genetic male. Are they teaching the intersex patient to lie and manipulate the system with NO legal repurcusions? More importantly, does the triple MD doctor UNDERSTAND the full implications of this act on innocent spouse and innocent child? When health professionals make false medical claims, it has reverberating effects on innocents including not getting justice they deserve.

The WORST part is the sex reassignment surgery is NOT even required and is asked to be AVOIDED. What is the scientific basis for removal of male testes and what is the LEGAL and ETHICAL basis for lying about it with no repurcusions? Did this unnecessary surgery ruin a family?

Is this the US we want? US is a world leader and strives to uphold human rights and child rights above all. We expect nothing less than strong leadership as it chooses to tackle the issue of IVF children and intersex families – two minorities in their own right. We want TRUTH and FACTS so that LAWS can come for ALL.