Tag Archives: human rights

Repeating Lies Becomes Truth?

As the saying goes, to hide a lie you have to say a thousand lies. Or if you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth. Is it really worth lying which punishes innocent children? We want answers why our son, an Indian citizen, is not allowed to come to India to meet his family? Why can’t we share and be a part of his growing up? Why is their parental alienation from the biological family? Is this any different than the baby scoop era of taking away innocent children away from their biological mother because her ONLY fault was being a “single mother” which was “socially unacceptable” at the time?

It starts with a small lie and expands until you start believing in the lie yourself as the truth. There are so many similarities between intersex children and IVF children. Respect for Laws, Truth, Compassion have meaning? or are just hollow words? These are values much rather to have in children and the world will be a better place.

It is easy to brainwash innocent children and lie to them while they are young, is it abuse? And what happens when they grow up as individuals and are adults? How will the lies have helped them? As an IVF child or an intersex child, when they grow up and understand the truth and facts, will they advocate for EQUAL IVF rights and EQUAL intersex rights? Our goals are aligned.

1) Voiceless children

Intersex children are voiceless and are forced into sex reassignment surgery at a young age or puberty without their consent by educated elite who think they know what is right.

IVF children are voiceless and used as property with no respect for their basic human dignity just so that an infertile person can have a child. Does the innocent IVF child have their own rights as an individual?

2) Utopia Vs. Reality

There is a strategy of “concealment-based approach” using an elaborate web of secrecy, lies, brainwashes, propagandizing, convincing parents to lie for the “good of the intersex child”.

While socially we are led to believe that biology and gender do NOT matter to being a parent of a child; it is the love you offer. The LAWS and reality are in STARK contrast using ONLY the biology and GENDER to give rights to an IVF child. If the parent’s rights are oppressed, how can their IVF child have EQUAL rights as they are coupled with their parent’s rights.

If believing in Utopis is wrong, then punish the person who believed in Utopia like a spouse caregiver of intersex and an IVF father in early 2000s. Why punish the innocent children?

3) Fraud Legal Documents

When a doctor creates fraud medical records which is a legal document as saying “removal of ovaries” instead of “removal of testes”, what credibility is there? Does a doctor say “removal of kidney” when in fact they did a “liver transplant”? Intersex patient also starts believing they had “ovaries” instead of testes and keeps repeating the lies. It has an adverse effect on their relationships, career, family, children, etc.

When a doctor creates fraud birth documents of an IVF child, it has a lifetime of implications. A birth certificate is a property of the child, an individual, for a lifetime and NOT the property of the parents. False, inaccurate, fraud birth certificate details can have a lifetime adverse effect on the IVF child’s career, job, life, etc.

4) Implications of Fraud Documents

When an intersex patient provides a fraud medical record showing “removal of ovaries” when in fact it was testes to another doctor, or a nurse, or a lactation consultant, is it one crime or multiple crimes of presenting a fraud document. Is it also multiple counts of fraud upon the doctor/clinic who issued the fraud document?

When an IVF child gets a passport, a visa based on fraud birth documents, is that immigration fraud? Living as an illegal immigrant in a  foreign country is stressful and can be deported at any moment. Are their constitutional rights protected as an illegal immigrant in a foreign country? Only the country of citizenship can guarantee that. Does the innocent IVF child have rights to get EQUAL rights?

5) Long-term implications

If an intersex person who is a genetic male, attempts to breastfeed an innocent infant and there is no milk, is it abuse? Or their belief they had a “removal of ovaries” surgery makes them think they can breastfeed? The crime is NOT attempting to breastfeed but attempting to breastfeed with NO lactation and making the hungry infant cry incessantly because you cannot overcome your own lies?

If an IVF child grows up WITHOUT the biological family and falls severely sick and needs genetic data of the biological family, will the fraud birth documents help? What if a crucial piece of genetic history may help the IVF child’s health from less suffering?

6) Primary Care Provider

Having controversial Sex Reassignment Surgery for intersex people is popular among intersex but not during a marriage. Recently the Special Rapporteur on Torture called for a STOP to such normalization surgery in intersex. If the Torture department at UN thinks it is torture for the intersex, what is it for the spouse caregiver of intersex? It takes great courage for an intersex person to have to go through this controversial treatment, but are they the ONLY victims when done during a marriage? A person goes through ALL possible changes one can imagine; physical, mental, psychological, emotional, spiritual and it is very traumatic, as a spouse caregiver of intersex one get intimate knowledge which most others only have academic knowledge of.

We are reaching into the UNKNOWN. Intersex people can be good parents, thats NOT The discussion. Can they be a Primary care provider for an infant while their hormonal replacement therapy from male to female is stabilizing?  If an intersex person is a butterfly today, what was the situation during their ugly stage of transition as larvae? Was there any abuse on an innocent IVF child and an IVBF father in the meantime which was hidden again through a web of secrecy and lies?

Is it OK to separate an innocent CHILD from his Primary Care Provider?

7) Lying is second nature

What if an intersex person is so desperate that they start telling people that they had a child from their eggs which were harvested before their “removal of ovaries” surgery which by they way never existed. How many lies one must say to hide one lie? And how many other people are coerced into living a life of lies.

What if there is a chance the IVF child may leave. Will the infertile, intersex person lie to NOT lose a child at any cost including perjury, defamation, blatant lies of abuse, false criminal charges only to drop them later after utilizing them as legal leverage, conspiracy? Worst, abandoning the sister of the child they claim to love? Is this love for the child or for themselves due to infertility?

8) Relationships

A person who lies a thousand times to hide one lie will also lie, cheat, fraud their partner. And wonder why the partner wanted to leave them? Its because of the countless lies which include committing crimes. In any relationship, trust is paramount and no relationship will last on a foundation of lies.

An innocent child who is being raised by a perennial liar and a criminal is in grave danger. Not only will they learn to lie but they will also learn that if you lie, cheat, fraud, perjury, false allegations, criminal conspiracy, nothing will happen and you will NOT pay for the crimes. LYING is what the innocent child will learn and their relationships will be doomed as well.

Let’s keep it simple. Live free, and truth is freedom. No more lies.

Here is a start to a TRUTH:

Even if one intersex person through use of lies, cheating, fraud duped an unknowing, innocent victim and took their child away even though intersex are infertile. Can other intersex people marry legally? Can other intersex people have children legally? What is the greater good? Let us unite to ask for equal intersex rights so intersex families no longer have the NEED to lie, cheat, fraud innocent victims. And wanting “EQUAL RIGHTS” is something politics can help with.

We have shown compassion when fraud was discovered, we have shown compassion when the controversial sex reassignment surgery occurred during marriage and became a silent caregiver, we have shown compassion in having an IVF child, we have shown compassion in raising the IVF child as a Primary Care Provider, we have shown compassion to provide a sibling to the IVF child, we have shown compassion by inheriting the UNEQUAL rights for intersex families, list goes on….As per conventional wisdom, some secrets you take them with you which we were ready to do. We CANNOT stand quiet as our INNOCENT CHILDREN are being punished. We CANNOT stand quiet KNOWING other innocent IVF children and families have UNEQUAL rights. We CANNOT stand quiet at the abhorrent human rights and child rights issue.

We want answers why our son, an Indian citizen, is NOT allowed to meet his family in India? Why can’t we share and be a part of his growing up? As a human being, what possibly more can we have done differently? Maybe reporting the fraud marriage and leaving and thus no children is the right answer?

If I Were A Woman…

Looking for an Erin Brockowich or “Pam Landy” from the movie “The Bourne Ultimatum”. Anyone willing to give it ALL to uncover the TRUTH and provide relief to the VICTIMS?

1) If Maulik were a woman…The innocent children would be UNITED and growing up together.Children Looking for Birth Parent

First, the prevailing laws would NEVER SPLIT innocent brother and sister, if born of the same woman. But since the innocent children are born through IVF, it is morally and legally OK to SPLIT them because of their parent’s gender. The heart weeps for innocent, voiceless children who are victims based on a parent’s gender. First, a spouse of intersex was victimized using lies and fraud under silence and now the same victimization is being continued on innocent, voiceless children. Is it time to speak up? Victimizing unsuspecting humans to secure one’s own human rights is NOT a solution, its multiple violations of multiple human beings.

Every child in this world has a mother. Only a mother can give birth…humans have not figured out yet how to do that outside the womb. But is every mother ALSO a “legal mother”? IVF does open up some doors for varying definitions of a “legal mother”. If a man uses his sperm, an anonymous donor and surrogate, who is the “legal mother”? Only the father would be the KNOWN biological parent for the IVF children.

A Child’s ONLY FAULT…

a) From 1940s to 1970s, USCanada and Australia during the baby scoop era forced adoptions of innocent children born to single mothers out of wedlock because it was “socially unacceptable” and gave the children to “deserving infertile couples”. The ONLY FAULT of the innocent child to grow up SEPARATELY from the biological family is they were born to a “single mother”.

b) Today, the ONLY FAULT the innocent IVF siblings are growing up SEPARATELY is because of their only known biological parent’s GENDER, a male and that is “socially unacceptable”. Gay fathers, single fathers, IVF fathers are not looked upon as “socially acceptable” yet.

2) If Maulik were a woman…his daughter and mother would not have been punished.If I were a woman

Accidents happen. A mother dies during child birth or a mother has a severe medical condition right after child birth which prevents a mother from being the primary care provider for an infant. But what if an intended parent places an “order” for an IVF baby in India while living in the US and DOES NOT show up when the “ordered IVF baby” is born in India and meet the US Immigration law requirements. Instead the infant girl child is pre-meditatively abandoned and an innocent aging grandmother raises the innocent IVF granddaughter at a great personal cost to her health. If Maulik were a woman, he could have taken his biological child with him to the US WITHOUT anyone’s help or support.

3) If Maulik were a woman…there would be more social, legal, financial, moral support to UNITE the innocent brother and sister.

There would be several social organizations offering legal, financial, and moral support to UNITE the innocent brother and sister. But because the SAME two innocent brother and sister are born of a father, they get LESS support. If you do not know what its like to be discriminated because of your colour, caste, creed, religion, but now one can see that innocent CHILDREN are punished because of their only biological parent’s GENDER, a male.

4) If Maulik were a woman…There would be more support, empathy and help during the caregiving years.

It is a FACT that there are MORE female caregivers than male. As a result, it is only logical to find more support, help and someone to SHARE for respite as a caregiver. A caregiver does not CONTROL the medical situation of the patient, they are a caregiver out of love and compassion for the patient. The most important aspect for any caregiver is to be able to SHARE. As a young, male, spouse caregiver one can attest that the argument that men SHARE less than women is FALSE. While there may be MORE men who do not SHARE as women do, typically those men are also NOT caregivers and is reflected in the statistics. Men who are caregivers SHARE a LOT, its in their nature, its in the nature of any caregiver irrespective of gender.

5) If Maulik were a woman in a lesbian relationship with another woman…he would have been allowed to share the “secret” seeing how the secrecy and lies was breaking me down.

If Maulik were in a lesbian relationship with another woman, he would have received more empathy, support, and help. Maulik would have been protected from domestic abuse and violence and implicitly his child.

6) If Maulik were a woman in a lesbian relationship with another woman…he may not have been LIED to or cheated.

If Maulik were in a lesbian relationship, the spouse would have been honest from the get go. Love is built on trust and a foundation of lies (regardless of the “traumatic medical condition”) is NOT love.

7) If Maulik were a woman…he could have fulfilled my child’s wish to give him a sibling.

While wonderful medical technology like IVF affords us to have children, the LAWS have simply not caught up and are still based on GENDER of the parent. Then why allow men to have kids without a “legal mother”  and punish the innocent children?

8) If Maulik were a woman…he could have breastfed my child instead of abusing him by attempting to breastfeed with “NO MILK” as a genetic male.

While women who do not give birth to a child, through medically administered hormonal therapy they can still lactate and produce milk for a baby. Provided there is enough milk, a woman can breastfeed a child. As a male, there is no milk and while pretending to be a woman, inadvertently, an innocent infant cries incessantly for food as there is no breast milk. The right answer is to give the hungry infant formula milk like most IVF children and NOT abuse a hungry infant while trying to become a woman.

9) If Maulik were a woman…he would feel sorry for a man wanting to make IVF children without a “legal mother”.

There are men who are gay, there are men who are married to Eunuch or intersex, there are single fathers, there are fertile men in a heterosexual relationship with an infertile woman, who WANT children. In a case of IVF, the only known biological parent in any of these cases is the MALE. As a fertile lesbian or single woman, the same gender-based IVF laws do not affect a woman. Feel sorry for such fertile men who love and want children but LAWS punish both them and inadvertently their CHILDREN.

10) If Maulik were a woman…as a mother, he would ask to STOP this crime on humanity and innocent IVF children by placing them in LEGAL LIMBO.

A birth certificate is NOT the property of parents, it is the property of EACH INDIVIDUAL. Therefore its authenticity is CRITICAL for a LIFETIME. Recently, there was a big row in India about a birth date for Gen. V. K. Singh (retd). Having CREDIBLE birth information for EACH INDIVIDUAL is their right which cannot and should not be denied. If we as a society cannot pass fair and equal laws, we should call a moratorium on IVF children born of fathers as the only known biological parent. Deliberately placing innocent IVF children in LEGAL LIMBO is a crime against humanity. The same bioethical reasons why human cloning is banned is the same bioethical reasons why bringing IVF children into this world with their rights in LEGAL LIMBO is wrong.

Double Standards

There are double standards in life but when it affects innocent children, it is important to speak up. in betweenHaving double standards leaves you “in-between”, ironically, where a dysfunctional intersex family is left – neither here nor there.

1) If a mother who has raised her children is found to be an illegal immigrant, she is deported as per the laws.

But if an infertile person who is a genetic male has committed immigration fraud, there is no action against them?

2) If a genetic male attempts to breastfeed an IVF infant with no milk while the infant is hungry and cries incessantly, it is NOT child abuse and a crime?

But a biological mother who is a female and is breastfeeding her infant is faced with leaving the child in US while she is being deported?

3) Sean Goldman, a US citizen, was brought back to the US from Brazil with support at the highest level and as US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said, “a child belongs with his [biological] family”. Was the family in Brazil not taking care of his food, shelter, clothes, toys, and academics? Or it’s not enough?

Vedant Maulik Modi, an Indian citizen, an IVF child illegally in the US, is NOT allowed to go to India to be with his biological family and siblings. Why? As per US Immigration laws, Vedant cannot become a US citizen without a “biological link”. Then why keep Vedant away from his own country? What about his child rights and human rights?

4) If a father signs consent forms with his wife to have a child through IVF using donor sperm, a court of law can still take away his “fatherhood” and more importantly alienate an innocent child from a loving parent.

But if a woman signs a joint consent form with her spouse to use donor eggs and surrogate, the resulting IVF child is taken away from the loving father and his siblings he wanted and we call it justice? There are lot terms we can use to define these facts but “best interest of the child” does not come to mind.

5) A US resident, an infertile, intersex person or legal term is Eunuch in India can abandon an innocent IVF girl child in India after placing an order at the IVF drive-thru with no legal repurcusions AND acountability or responsibility for the child.

But there are multiple cases just about every day where criminal charges are filed against people for abandoning innocent children in the US. Are IVF children LESS of a child than a natural born child?

6) Same-sex marriage is on the agenda and hopefully equal rights are on the way and hopefully includes bi-national immigration reform too.

But equal rights for IVF children who may be children of same-sex couples is not on the agenda. When will equal rights for the most vulnerable of the vulnerable come into play?

7) Regardless of hypocrisy or hooliganism or criminalism outside the home, when it comes to children we seek to teach them values, truth, good Vs evil, compassion, love, and so on.

How can a person who has relentlessly lied, cheated, frauded outside the home AND inside the home can honestly be a role model for the innocent child? The foundation has to be strong. Whether being SELFISH is wrong is subjective except when it involves BREAKING THE LAWS.

8) Is breaking the laws, being a criminal the only way for other intersex people to have children? Is this the blueprint others should follow to claim love for a child?

We think it is better to DEMAND for equal rights for intersex for all so that innocent people are not victimized and abused. It is a blueprint that all can follow LEGALLY. Tony Briffa is leading and showing the way.

9) It would be a crime for a medical professional to lie on a medical record and maybe even insurance fraud. For example, a orthopedic surgeon cannot claim to have worked on the hand of the patient when actually it was the leg. Or a cardiologist has to document the correct valve they worked on in the heart and cannot document it is something they worked on the kidney.

Yet, if a triple MD doctor (meaning a highly educated professional) can document the “removal of male testes” from an intersex person as “removal of ovaries” knowing fully well as a triple MD that the patient never had any ovaries and is a genetic male. Are they teaching the intersex patient to lie and manipulate the system with NO legal repurcusions? More importantly, does the triple MD doctor UNDERSTAND the full implications of this act on innocent spouse and innocent child? When health professionals make false medical claims, it has reverberating effects on innocents including not getting justice they deserve.

The WORST part is the sex reassignment surgery is NOT even required and is asked to be AVOIDED. What is the scientific basis for removal of male testes and what is the LEGAL and ETHICAL basis for lying about it with no repurcusions? Did this unnecessary surgery ruin a family?

Is this the US we want? US is a world leader and strives to uphold human rights and child rights above all. We expect nothing less than strong leadership as it chooses to tackle the issue of IVF children and intersex families – two minorities in their own right. We want TRUTH and FACTS so that LAWS can come for ALL.

Gay Marriage and Divorce

While most places in the world do NOT allow legal gay marriage yet, what will it look like when gay marriage isIntersex Gay Lesbian Rights legalized? And then there will be gay divorce. What will a gay divorce look like? And what about the children in a gay marriage if any? Since there is NO mother in a gay marriage, will the children be SPLIT when divorced? Or will the BEST INTEREST of the CHILDREN come FIRST?

In a gay marriage, are trust and love equally important or is lying and cheating allowed?

In a gay marriage, will the spouse have EQUAL access to medical records as a caregiver?

In a gay marriage, will the spouse be protected by law for domestic violence and abuse?

For a bi-national immigrant gay couple, will they be allowed to immigrate to the US legally?

In a gay marriage, if they do not ADOPT,  only one spouse will be a biological parent if they have a child through IVF. Will the child be allowed to immigrate legally to the US if the child is born outside the US to an immigrant bi-national gay couple?

In a gay marriage, does the child call anyone a “mother”?

In a gay marriage, does the child have a “mother tongue” or a “primary care provider tongue” or a “father tongue”?

In a gay marriage, will either male try to breastfeed the infant? What if there is no lactation, will they allow the infant to cry incessantly and suffer while hungry?

In a gay marriage, what traditional stereotype will be used to assign “primary care provider” role since there is no mother?

In a gay marriage, does the child have a right to have a sibling?

In a gay marriage, what if it takes a few years and repeated failed IVF attempts and perseverance to keep trying to provide a sibling for the child? Will the biological parent make all the efforts and trips to have a second child? What support will the non-biological parent provide?

In a gay divorce, what if the non-biological parent files divorce with NO mention of ongoing IVF pregnancy, how will the court look after the BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILDREN of a gay marriage?

In a gay divorce, what if the biological parent is EXILED from the US as the second IVF child is NOT allowed to immigrate to the US without a mother?

In a gay divorce, has DUE PROCESS been allowed without intimidation and threats of saving a little infant girl’s life half a world away?

In a gay divorce, what if the non-biological parent takes no accountability or responsibility for raising the second child and abandons the innocent child and is not required to pay any child support as the information was suppressed from the court.

In a gay divorce, what about the rights of the first IVF child who wanted a sibling? What about the rights of the first IVF child who wants his biological father around while growing up?

In a gay divorce, what about the rights of the second IVF child for being abandoned and endangering their welfare? Do they get any rights in the US? Is it a crime against humanity?

All this has already happened in an intersex marriage and divorce between two genetic males. And neither gay marriage or intersex marriage is LEGAL yet which means, yes LAWS have been broken, not once but multiple times. The key difference is in a gay marriage, both spouses know and understand they are gay and have same rights – equal or unequal. In an intersex marriage, the unsuspecting non-intersex spouse is a VICTIM and is unaware of the unequal rights for intersex but inherits them. And sadly, the victimization and abuse continues to the innocent children and not being allowed to grow up together. In a gay marriage, both spouses may be fertile but in an intersex marriage, the intersex person is infertile. The temptation and bias for a child Vs their own selfish interests present a severe conflict of interest.

I Wish I Were A Woman…

I Wish I were a woman for the sake of my IVF children. I am perfectly happy with my masculinity and for the True Loveman I am. However, the BIGGEST blow came when MY GENDER was used as a WEAPON to SPLIT my innocent IVF children despite being the primary care provider. I wish I were a WOMAN for their sake so the innocent children could grow up together. Being raised to respect all, being raised for everyone to have EQUAL rights, if not by law then at least by your actions, being raised to respect diversity, I have learnt that LAWS are unequal and JUSTICE is not based on TRUTH and FACTS and PREVAILING LAWS. While my idealism has been broken through a VERY HARD LESSON, why are children being punished for my stupidity? I feel close to a group of people but in a very different way. The “single mothers” of the baby scoop era whose innocent biological children were taken away because their only fault was being born to a single mother in a primitive time when that was “socially unacceptable”. I cannot compare to what they felt as mothers but as an IVF father in 2013, I can empathize with “social norms” being used to SPLIT biological families rather than facts assessing love for the child.

Lawyers, legal experts, surrogacy experts, immigration experts will become Monday morning quarterbacks and tell me well you should have checked the laws before. You should have got a legal contract requiring the spouse to come to India after an IVF child birth to satisfy US immigration requirements so that both siblings can grow up together. These are all great legal thoughts but they FAIL to recognize that having children through IVF is a issue of the heart. Unless you love children, one does not go for IVF and that too internationally. Is it wrong to think from the HEART? I know the answer to that, YES it is.

Message to the Powers to Be

COURTS, JUSTICE, LAW demands to follow the laws. Answer a question : IVF children have been born with NO LEGAL MOTHER, now what? should we give LEGAL RIGHTS to such IVF children? What is the NATURAL JUSTICE?

And yes, please FOLLOW THE PREVAILING LAWS for which due process has to be allowed, a case has to be heard in the court of law with ALL the FACTS free of intimidation and threats. If you feel a mockery was made of the legal system and the justice system, please bring to justice the perpetrators. Without DUE PROCESS, how can there be justice for innocent IVF children? Without knowing ALL the FACTS, how can there be justice?

After knowing all the FACTS, if you must, that SPLITTING the innocent siblings is JUSTICE then thats fine BUT at least give them ONE OPPORTUNITY to seek justice. They are far too young and innocent to demand their own child rights and human rights. Is this what happens to IVF children born with NO LEGAL MOTHER? No rights of their own?

If gay marriage is legalized, if gay divorce occurs, will children of the gay couple be SPLIT?

Cannot Wait To Get Gay Rights Soon Enough

As a spouse of intersex, cannot wait to have gay rights be legalized soon enough. Not as a spouse of intersex but equal gay rightsfor the innocent children of a dysfunctional intersex marriage. Had the IVF children been born in a time when equal gay rights existed, they would be growing up together as they were meant to be. Even though I am an optimist but life has taught me to be a realist. With that in mind, I do not think in my lifetime, we are going to get equal rights for spouse of intersex, let alone if we first have a discussion about the issues that affects spouses of intersex and more importantly, the children of an intersex marriage.

Being intersex is a natural condition meaning it is not in the intersex person’s control but choosing to lie about it is in their control. Sometimes, lies can be crimes like lying on legal documents or immigration fraud or perjury or other kinds of abuse. Despite all the philanthropy of a astute and respected person like Mr. Rajat Gupta, at the end of the day, he is serving jail time for crimes he committed. White collar crime but still crimes. Are the blatant lies, fraud documents by intersex and the supporting medical community crimes? The issue here is NOT can intersex person be a parent, the issue here is the relentless, blatant lies by the intersex and the medical community with no respect for laws or basic rights of other unsuspecting, innocent people including the voiceless, innocent children. Do other victims including innocent, voiceless children have human rights or ONLY intersex people deserve human rights? If such abuse is allowed to go unchecked, there will only be more innocent victims including the voiceless, innocent children.

Before this century is over, marriage equality for all, equal rights for IVF children and families and legal recognition of third gender in civilized nations will be a reality. By NOT allowing equal rights to people, are we creating a new class of unsuspecting, innocent VICTIMS? 

1) Being gay and intersex are two separate things. Just like for ages, the “social acceptance” was being gay can be “medically corrected”, similarly,  “gender” can be “medically corrected” approach is false.

2) In a gay relationship, both partners are gay and are in a gay relationship by mutual consent. In an intersex relationship, where one partner may be heterosexual or gay or lesbian is NOT in an intersex relationship with mutual consent because the truth was hidden from them. In any relationship, trust and love counts and fraud is not love.

3) In a gay relationship, both partners are male. In an intersex relationship, both partners are genetically male. Will gay parents, both genetic males, be allowed to breastfeed without proper medical supervision? Can gay parents, both genetic males, lactate? In an intersex relationship, both genetic males, will there be lactation and should they be allowed to breastfeed? If there is NO milk in genetic males, and the parent imposes upon the voiceless, crying, hungry infant to “breastfeed with NO milk”, is that child abuse?

4) When two males are in a relationship, there are certain issues that come up for which our legal framework is simply not ready yet. For example, domestic violence and abuse laws for protection between two males, rights of a child in a marriage between two males, “social acceptance” that males can raise a child just as lovingly and so on.

5) In a relationship between two males, one parent will always be a “non-biological” parent meaning the biological parent has taken up the JOB equivalent to that of an ADOPTION regulator who approves of adoptive parents. This may work in a “mutual consent” relationship like lesbians or gays but what about an intersex relationship where the relationship itself was based on fraud?

6) Just like the intersex person has a RIGHT to feel “male”, “female”, or “both” or “neither”, their spouse and child who was lied, cheated and frauded has every RIGHT to feel the same about their intersex spouse, its their human rights too. The discussion here is about the TRUTH. People like Tony Briffa and Imogen Callaway who have both publicly identified as intersex have more respect because they are being honest. They are the real leaders.

7) The “social acceptance” theory is that a child cannot be taken away from a “mother”. Then should gays be allowed to have a child since there is NO mother in the relationship? Governments today are apologizing for their wrong behavior during the baby scoop era to take away innocent children from their biological mothers because they were single and “single mothers” were “socially unacceptable” at the time. It is wrong TODAY to take away child from his “father” because it is “socially unacceptable” to have children growing up with only fathers.

8) The real question we should be asking is it wrong to take a child away from their “PRIMARY CARE PROVIDER” whether the person is male or female or third gender or heterosexual, gay, lesbian, intersex, how does it matter?

9) As a spouse caregiver of intersex, the “normalization surgery” in its current protocol of an adult intersex person during a marriage is WRONG. If you have to lie on medical records and create fraud documents, that should be the FIRST SIGN, you are doing something wrong. What is worse is that they have NOT thought about the overall implications of creating fraud documents and helping intersex families to lie, cheat, and fraud victims including innocent, voiceless children.

10) Recently, the UN Special Rapporteur on Torture confirmed our demands that the “normalization surgery” of intersex should STOP. It is interesting that the Torture department made this statement, if it is torture for the intersex person, is there any torture for the spouse caregiver of intersex if surgery is done during the marriage? Someday, they will also release a report to call for a “waiting period study” between the time an intersex person has this controversial “normalization surgery” and is stabilizing from the treatment to when they can become a primary care provider for an infant.

11) IVF is a technology that presents opportunities for the first time where children may be born with “NO LEGAL MOTHER”. Do such children have EQUAL rights?

12) We are convinced as time moves forward and equal rights for gays are granted, our demand for equal rights for intersex, equal rights for IVF children and families will also be met. As spouse of intersex, we are just not the right messengers but that does not mean our message (demands) is incorrect.

13) The right answer is to have a REPEATABLE SOLUTION. This means that an intersex person should be able to repeat what has happened in this case which is have a LEGAL marriage, have a LEGAL CHILD, be a TRUTHFUL PRIMARY CARE PROVIDER based on actions and NOT looks, and have LEGAL custody of the child in the child’s BEST INTEREST. By legalizing an illegal intersex marriage does not help other intersex people who want to marry or have children. If LAWS are followed and if TRUTH is used, it is not possible to REPEAT this. So the right answer is to have laws for equal intersex rights and equal rights for IVF children and families.

14) To Maulik, his biggest jurors are his two innocent, voiceless IVF children. As a loving, passionate parent, he will continue to fight for them and all IVF children and families. Maulik realizes that in 2013, if a woman had experienced the same TRAUMA instead of him, her CHILDREN would not be SPLIT. Maulik understands he is fighting for IVF children, IVF parents, spouse of intersex, gays, lesbians, intersex, single parents, heterosexuals.

15) In the root cause analysis, this case is about saying a THOUSAND lies to hide one LIE. Had this case occurred when equal gay rights existed, equal IVF child rights existed, the innocent IVF children would NOT be SPLIT. Even if equal IVF child rights or if spouse caregiver of intersex rights DO NOT happen in our lifetime, by having gay rights, we will also be inadvertent BENEFICIARIES.

The point is to have the right for siblings to grow up together. Whether these rights are guaranteed through their own individual rights or they come through as gay rights, we will take it either way because the innocent, voiceless victims will be happy either way to have an opportunity to grow up together. Secrecy, lies, stigma are the real culprits and it is time to speak the TRUTH for the sake of innocent, voiceless victims.

A Child’s Wish – Rosa Parks Again

Oprah to Lance Armstrong said : “Truth shall set you free”

Vedant was an innocent 2 year old. He wanted a sibling. Having been born into a dysfunctional intersex family

child wish rosa parks again

was not his fault. He is free to wish for whatever he wants, or is he?  When Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat, she did so because she was TIRED. She was NOT trying to start some revolution. An IVF father was simply TRYING to give his son his wish, a SIBLING. He was not looking to learn about the INEQUALITY in LAWS and INHERITING the INEQUALITY in LAWS for intersex families. Let us speak up to CHANGE the LAWS and not BREAK the LAWS. Here is a heartfelt experience of an IVF father to have an IVF child. Maulik was lucky to have been blessed with a lovely daughter, Medhavi, Vedant’s sibling, even after multiple failed IVF attempts and persistence.

IVF Child Abandonment

The innocent IVF sibling, now Medhavi, was six months term in a surrogate’s womb when a vicious and fraudulent divorce was filed without a SINGLE mention of the ongoing pregnancy. There was every INTENT to have the siblings grow up TOGETHER or why did the intersex person agree for the second surrogacy. Why the intersex person chose to WITHHOLD key information from the court only they can answer. Why the intersex person did not travel to India for the second child’s birth to satisfy US Immigration Law requirements so that the siblings can be together can only be answered by them. Why are the CHILDREN BEING PUNISHED BY BEING MADE TO GROW UP SEPARATELY? Was there proper due process under prevailing laws or has the legal system been manipulated for personal motive? It is IMPOSSIBLE for an intersex person to have custody of an international IVF child WITHOUT BREAKING the PREVAILING LAWS. Have any CRIMES been committed?

If female foeticide is a crime, female infanticide is a crime, abandoning and endangering the welfare of a child is a crime then why is abandoning and endangering the welfare of an IVF girl child NOT a crime? Lets make it a crime in the 21st century or we risk proliferation of baby making factories and gross violation of innocent children. Should we legalize human cloning for personal and selfish amusement? Has Vedant abandoned his sister? Then why is he being forced to do so in practice?

Journey of an IVF Father who is a LESSER parent

For 3 years, after several failed attempts, sleepless nights, anxiety, trauma, multiple trips by the father alone to the IVF clinic, a lovely sibling was conceived. Jai Sri Krishna! Hallelueah! Anyone who has dealt with IVF knows that there is MORE uncertainty than success. Vedant never had to experience any of this as he was too young to understand or comprehend. But it was his wish to have a sibling that transpired all this. Then why has he NOT met his sibling? What is the innocent children’s fault? Maybe if the father was a woman or maybe if the father was gay in 21st century or maybe if the father was an intersex spouse in the 22nd century, he would have “social acceptance” and implicitly his children. Isn’t it time to have LAWS to reflect the changing technology of the 21st century or BAN IVF for males who need BOTH an egg donor and a SURROGATE. If the infertility isn’t traumatic enough, the inequality in LAWS and the absolute DISDAIN for EQUAL IVF CHILD RIGHTS is MORE TRAUMATIC because that is INSULTING the basic right of your child. Just like forced adoptions in the 1960s and 1970s from single mothers was a failed approach and governments are apologizing today, separating siblings based on their biological parent’s GENDER is wrong in 2013. Give children their own INDIVIDUAL rights.

An IVF father is living in EXILE from the US because his innocent IVF daughter was not allowed to enter the US akin to several gay couples living in exile from the US because same-sex spouse cannot enter the US. Yeah, the IVF father could have chose to give up his second child, Vedant’s sibling, for adoption or maybe even have an abortion at the cost of the surrogate. But no, the innocent sibling lives, Vedant’s sibling lives, her name is Medhavi. Take a look at her now and you will know why it is vital to save her even if it meant giving up a career, a life of over 21 years in the US. Her one smile is worth a lot more than that. But an IVF father has to overcome the stereotype of the societal norms that because he is male, he is unemotional and unworthy to be an equal parent and therefore it is OK to punish his children. Bring it, ready to take on the biggest powers for sake of the innocent children. There have been several OBSTACLES in becoming an IVF father, one more for the sake of innocent children.

Social Acceptance

Maybe if the two siblings had been born to a woman, they would be together. Maybe if the IVF father had used the egg or womb of his wife to have a child, then both siblings would be together. And the LAWS support that. Was the IVF father and spouse caregiver of intersex WRONG to have a child in a dysfunctional intersex marriage? Then PUNISH the father for not reporting the fraud, abuse and crimes and for showing compassion to an intersex person. Why are the CHILDREN BEING PUNISHED BY BEING MADE TO GROW UP SEPARATELY?

Maybe if a gay man had duped a female friend into surrogacy, the two siblings would be together. But if a straight IVF father has two children through IVF, then they are separated even though an intersex person duped the father.

There are 8 different ways parenthood can be assigned when a child is born through IVF. There is ONLY ONE way parenthood can be assigned in a natural born child. Then WHY are we trying to fit a square peg in a round hole? Do the laws capture all 8 different scenarios?

2101 : An IVF Siblings Odyssey

In a future world, our requests for CHANGE will be met which are Unification of the siblings is inevitable, equal IVF child rights, equal intersex rights. Then why not save the innocent childhoods today? Even if Vedant grows up WITHOUT his sibling and loving biological family through FRAUD, other intersex people still cannot legally marry, other intersex people still cannot have children legally. By speaking up, we are asking for accelerated CHANGE for the greater good. We invite anyone and everyone who believe in EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL. Help us GRANT Vedant his wish to have a SIBLING.

A poem from a sister to her brother:

I have eyes but cannot see you,

I have ears but cannot hear your voice,

I have hands but cannot hug you,

I have lips but cannot kiss you,

I have my favorite pink birthday cake but cannot share it with you,

If we are special, I hope someone is thinking about US more than others.

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