Oprah to Lance Armstrong said : “Truth shall set you free”
Vedant was an innocent 2 year old. He wanted a sibling. Having been born into a dysfunctional intersex family
was not his fault. He is free to wish for whatever he wants, or is he? When Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat, she did so because she was TIRED. She was NOT trying to start some revolution. An IVF father was simply TRYING to give his son his wish, a SIBLING. He was not looking to learn about the INEQUALITY in LAWS and INHERITING the INEQUALITY in LAWS for intersex families. Let us speak up to CHANGE the LAWS and not BREAK the LAWS. Here is a heartfelt experience of an IVF father to have an IVF child. Maulik was lucky to have been blessed with a lovely daughter, Medhavi, Vedant’s sibling, even after multiple failed IVF attempts and persistence.
IVF Child Abandonment
The innocent IVF sibling, now Medhavi, was six months term in a surrogate’s womb when a vicious and fraudulent divorce was filed without a SINGLE mention of the ongoing pregnancy. There was every INTENT to have the siblings grow up TOGETHER or why did the intersex person agree for the second surrogacy. Why the intersex person chose to WITHHOLD key information from the court only they can answer. Why the intersex person did not travel to India for the second child’s birth to satisfy US Immigration Law requirements so that the siblings can be together can only be answered by them. Why are the CHILDREN BEING PUNISHED BY BEING MADE TO GROW UP SEPARATELY? Was there proper due process under prevailing laws or has the legal system been manipulated for personal motive? It is IMPOSSIBLE for an intersex person to have custody of an international IVF child WITHOUT BREAKING the PREVAILING LAWS. Have any CRIMES been committed?
If female foeticide is a crime, female infanticide is a crime, abandoning and endangering the welfare of a child is a crime then why is abandoning and endangering the welfare of an IVF girl child NOT a crime? Lets make it a crime in the 21st century or we risk proliferation of baby making factories and gross violation of innocent children. Should we legalize human cloning for personal and selfish amusement? Has Vedant abandoned his sister? Then why is he being forced to do so in practice?
Journey of an IVF Father who is a LESSER parent
For 3 years, after several failed attempts, sleepless nights, anxiety, trauma, multiple trips by the father alone to the IVF clinic, a lovely sibling was conceived. Jai Sri Krishna! Hallelueah! Anyone who has dealt with IVF knows that there is MORE uncertainty than success. Vedant never had to experience any of this as he was too young to understand or comprehend. But it was his wish to have a sibling that transpired all this. Then why has he NOT met his sibling? What is the innocent children’s fault? Maybe if the father was a woman or maybe if the father was gay in 21st century or maybe if the father was an intersex spouse in the 22nd century, he would have “social acceptance” and implicitly his children. Isn’t it time to have LAWS to reflect the changing technology of the 21st century or BAN IVF for males who need BOTH an egg donor and a SURROGATE. If the infertility isn’t traumatic enough, the inequality in LAWS and the absolute DISDAIN for EQUAL IVF CHILD RIGHTS is MORE TRAUMATIC because that is INSULTING the basic right of your child. Just like forced adoptions in the 1960s and 1970s from single mothers was a failed approach and governments are apologizing today, separating siblings based on their biological parent’s GENDER is wrong in 2013. Give children their own INDIVIDUAL rights.
An IVF father is living in EXILE from the US because his innocent IVF daughter was not allowed to enter the US akin to several gay couples living in exile from the US because same-sex spouse cannot enter the US. Yeah, the IVF father could have chose to give up his second child, Vedant’s sibling, for adoption or maybe even have an abortion at the cost of the surrogate. But no, the innocent sibling lives, Vedant’s sibling lives, her name is Medhavi. Take a look at her now and you will know why it is vital to save her even if it meant giving up a career, a life of over 21 years in the US. Her one smile is worth a lot more than that. But an IVF father has to overcome the stereotype of the societal norms that because he is male, he is unemotional and unworthy to be an equal parent and therefore it is OK to punish his children. Bring it, ready to take on the biggest powers for sake of the innocent children. There have been several OBSTACLES in becoming an IVF father, one more for the sake of innocent children.
Maybe if the two siblings had been born to a woman, they would be together. Maybe if the IVF father had used the egg or womb of his wife to have a child, then both siblings would be together. And the LAWS support that. Was the IVF father and spouse caregiver of intersex WRONG to have a child in a dysfunctional intersex marriage? Then PUNISH the father for not reporting the fraud, abuse and crimes and for showing compassion to an intersex person. Why are the CHILDREN BEING PUNISHED BY BEING MADE TO GROW UP SEPARATELY?
Maybe if a gay man had duped a female friend into surrogacy, the two siblings would be together. But if a straight IVF father has two children through IVF, then they are separated even though an intersex person duped the father.
There are 8 different ways parenthood can be assigned when a child is born through IVF. There is ONLY ONE way parenthood can be assigned in a natural born child. Then WHY are we trying to fit a square peg in a round hole? Do the laws capture all 8 different scenarios?
2101 : An IVF Siblings Odyssey
In a future world, our requests for CHANGE will be met which are Unification of the siblings is inevitable, equal IVF child rights, equal intersex rights. Then why not save the innocent childhoods today? Even if Vedant grows up WITHOUT his sibling and loving biological family through FRAUD, other intersex people still cannot legally marry, other intersex people still cannot have children legally. By speaking up, we are asking for accelerated CHANGE for the greater good. We invite anyone and everyone who believe in EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL. Help us GRANT Vedant his wish to have a SIBLING.
A poem from a sister to her brother:
I have eyes but cannot see you,
I have ears but cannot hear your voice,
I have hands but cannot hug you,
I have lips but cannot kiss you,
I have my favorite pink birthday cake but cannot share it with you,
If we are special, I hope someone is thinking about US more than others.