Tag Archives: freedom

Whose stateless child survivor would you rather be – ISIS or international IVF/Surrogacy? Or neither?

Many people, especially ignorant people want to punish you for speaking the truth, for being correct, for being you. Never apolgize for being correct or for being years ahead of your time. If you’re right and you know it, speak your mind. Speak you rmind even if you are a minority of one.  The truth is still the truth. ” – Mahatma Gandhi

On Gandhi Jayanti day, will anyone come to the rescue of stateless children and move forward with the truth?

For most people, it would be insane to compare ISIS Stateless Child and international IVF/Surrogacy Stateless Child but that’s because they have not been viewed from the perspective of a stateless child.STATELESS No loving parent will take the dehumanization of their innocent child lying down – whether done by a stranger OR a relative because it hurts innocent children. In a civilized world, we do NOT make children stateless deliberately and if they become stateless inadvertenty as in the case of IVF/Surrogacy, we resolve it fastest like Australia did in the case of baby Gammy. As a normal human being, we all have sympathy and compassion whenever we hear of an innocent child dying while trying to escape torture, but what does it mean to be stateless? As an educated, white collar professional, what does it mean to raise a stateless child? DEHUMANIZATION of the innocent child – that’s what statelessness is regardless how one got there – physical warfare or lies that break the laws. Who answers the questions of a stateless child?

When a child is stateless, well, they are stateless regardless of how they got there….war, refugee, slavery, international IVF/Surrogacy. As a loving parent, one has to move forward and deal with the practical implications OR abandon the innocent child and run away – sadly no one will care because they are stateless meaning NO RIGHTS. A stateless child means loss of freedom, no identity, loss of basic human dignity and respect, no chance of approaching a court for justice against the perpetrator. For example, a fleeing stateless child can make an arduous trip to Europe or America in trying to escape the persecution and if they die due to the hardships, they have no rights against the person who created this situation.

The Hole Pope said, “I Am Convinced That We Can Make A Difference“. Be it the Catholic church taking decades to recognize the sexual abuse against innocent children while protecting adults OR philanthropists like Rajat Gupta and Bernie Madoff frauding people, OR corporations like Volkswagen falsifying documents and tests, in the end truth prevails no matter how long it takes. We have no doubt the truth will prevail in this case also but will the innocent children be spared and be united and allowed to grow up together in truth and freedom?

Prime Minister Modi of India at his UN speech in 2015 PM Modi of India at UN 2015, “We must reform the United Nations including its Security Council so that it carries greater credibility and legitimacy”. The future is about truth and transparency like books about IVF/Surrogacy for children to help understand the facts and NOT about lies which hurts children and breaks laws like making children “STATELESS”.

And let’s hope the powers to be can address the needs of an abandoned IVF/Surrogacy child by an American who has been DENIED “truth”, “liberty”, and “justice”.  And how does this help a child? Even if inadvertently, are we dehumanizing the child? We just want the cruelty to stop against innocent IVF/Surrogacy children and families.

I don’t have a child who is blind, deaf, without a limb or leg, with Down’s syndrome, with Cystic Fibrosis, or any other commercial condition, I have a child who was used as a tool for blackmail and denied rights as a human being and is stateless. I have children who count and are stateless, is that enough to be treated as an equal?

 

Made Stateless by ISIS, Saddam, GaddafiMade Stateless by IVF/Surrogacy - baby GammyMade Stateless by IVF/Surrogacy - baby Modi
Loss of Freedom (Prison)YesYesYes
Loss of Fundamental RightsYesYesYes
Respect as a ChildNoYesNo
Dignity as a Human BeingNoYesNo
Refugee StatusYesYesNo
Justice and relief from perpetratorNoYesNo

International IVF/Surrogacy Freedom….Freedom….Freedom

Freedom….freedom….freedom (Sing it to the tune of Eddie James song, Freedom). Oh! how sweet is the feeling of freedom. Especially when you are fightingIVF-Freedom for someone else’s freedom. Especially when the freedom is of a child. Especially when the freedom is of an innocent. Especially when the freedom is of a girl. Especially when the freedom is of a sister. Especially when the freedom is of a daughter. Especially when the freedom is of an abandoned child. 1951 days, 20 hours, 42 seconds is apparently the wait time for IVF Freedom. This is a moment to enjoy the freedom and be grateful to everyone who has helped on this journey of freedom for innocent IVF/Surrogacy child.

Today is the beginning of a new era. It is an era of freedom and truth. It is an era of basic human dignity and respect even for the most innocent of lives. It is an era that the freed will define. It is an era where dreams will be made, dreams will be freely shared, dreams will be freely experienced, dreams will be freely lived. It is an era where every human life counts and is valued equally. It is an era where the voiceless have a voice. It is an era where the minority within minority is also respected and allowed to live freely.

It is a momentous week for international left-behind IVF/Surrogacy children. #babyGammy in Australia and @UniteMeduvada in India and US. We also respect IVF baby C of Canada whose parents stuck it out in India for 6 years before getting freedom. This is a club no one wishes on anyone to be a part of but everyone survived to make it through. Let us hope the democratically elected governments are listening to the real issues of real citizens who are building families in a different way through international IVF/Surrogacy and its consequences on innocent children. We can only move forward together while inadvertently not denying rights of the people we love most – innocent children. Wish everyone a hearty hug of freedom and a dollop of equality and may the fresh air of freedom make all your dreams come true. Let the child shine brighter than the sun.

Let Freedom Ring Free

OMG, how can an IVF father raise an IVF child? Thats the most common reaction for an IVF father living in exile raising an abandoned IVF child. Why is the focus on the “gender” of a parent? This stereotype manifests itself into laws which actually hurts innocent IVF children. And as a parent, that is more than offensive, more than traumatic and it is torturous to see your innocent child being punished for crimes they did not commit and due to their parent’s “gender”. freedom ring free ivfDiscrimination against males and females, mothers and fathers is actually hurting innocent children due to lack of laws. As a parent, all one wants is the best for their children and at the very least provide equal rights for their children. For a mentally and/or physically challenged child, the parent wants the best for their child and laws to support that, for an IVF child, an IVF parent wants the best for their child and laws to support that. Not mother, not father but a parent. While the compassion and concern is appreciated one receives as an IVF father, the real answer is to address the inadequacy of the laws in the 21st century. We want freedom, we want respect and more than anything we want equal rights for our IVF children and families.

It would be nice to see someday the question that how does a “parent” feel? Gay fathers, single fathers, intersex fathers are just parents. Let us not continue the discrimination with innocent children of gay fathers, single fathers, intersex fathers by “classifying” them. They are just innocent children of their loving parents, shouldn’t that be enough? I have a dream that someday it is the character and love of a parent that will count more than the gender of a parent. Dealing with infertility is NOT a women’s issue. Dealing with infertility is a CHILD issue. Dealing with infertility is a HUMAN issue. Let us not PUNISH innocent children due to the war on fertility.

Recently, Indra Nooyi, an accomplished individual and voted one of the top 50 most influential women in the world said that “Women can’t have it all” and it is hard to have a work-life balance. What about IVF fathers, can they have it all when it comes to loving and raising their IVF children together at home? Are the centuries old stereotypes hurting us as a society? If women are trying to break the “glass ceiling” at work, are fathers at home waiting to get equal rights? If a woman is disfranchised at work, someone still gets the job done although the woman still maybe a victim of unequal laws and stereotypes. At home, when fathers are discriminated, it is the innocent child who gets disenfranchised, a living, breathing human being – is this what our society wants moving forward? Let us not continue to give unequal rights to fathers at home which directly abuses the rights of innocent children. If women can’t have it all, can innocent IVF girl have it all? Like a legal identity, a passport to travel freely to visit her brother, see the snow, see the wild animals and explore the world?

In other news, the Indian Supreme Court recently said that women are “misusing” the anti-dowry laws to protect them instead they have turned it into a weapon. Laws are created to protect people. When people “misuse” the law, it fails in spirit of the law and is disrespectful to the legal system and endangers the welfare of innocent children. If you have a little daughter, is this what you would want to teach her which is to place innocent grandfathers and grandmothers in prison under false accusations just so that you can harass your spouse? It begs the question – If women “misuse” anti-dowry laws, what would infertile people do who cannot legally have a child without a “genetic link”? Exactly at what point do we say its enough? Perhaps when innocent children are being abused and placed in legal limbo for the selfish advantage of an infertile adult who happens to lie which breaks laws – is that enough? We all have skeletons in the closet but when those skeletons happen to be of innocent children OR compassionate surrogates rights, someone has to speak up. The TRUTH has to be told so that a change in laws can occur in the best interest of children. Children are NOT the criminals – so why should they be punished by being palced in legal limbo?

If a four year old wants to go to America to see her brother OR a nine year old brother wants to come to India to see her sister- she/he should be able to? Why deny them the right because an adult infertile person wants to break the laws for selfish advantage?

If a four year old wants to go to Canada to see the snow or go to Africa to see the giraffes and zebra – she should be able to? Why deny them the right because an adult infertile person wants to break the laws for selfish advantage?

IVF fathers are tough. Especially, ones who made multiple trips to the IVF clinics by themselves. Regardless of whether they are gay, single, intersex fathers, straight fathers, compassionate fathers, loving fathers, they made the trips alone because they wanted a child. And to ask a parent, an IVF parent to abandon their IVF child because LAWS are inadequate is insane and heartless. It questions every being of humanity within us.  If it does not raise your hairs, it should. If it raises your hairs, raise them more. Because this is a nightmare for any parent – the worst form of casteism. Where the actions of a parent are used against innocent children forever. Let the innocent children have freedom and have their own individual rights – show them true love.

Who Needs Siblings?

Two Siblings, Two Continents, Never Met – Why? Siblings are good because… Siblings Forever

  1. They help you realize it’s important to hug, kiss and share. Like sharing a child with an infertile person.
  2. They teach you the first lesson in forgiveness and forget – one minute you are at each other’s throat, the next minute you are playing together like the two happiest people in the world. Like when as an adult you find out your spouse cheated you and broke the laws but you move on.
  3. They teach you the first lesson in teamwork. For example when immigration laws are against IVF children and families, it is important to work as a team to get your rights as individuals from the government.
  4. They teach you compassion and love for a fellow human being. Parents give unconditional love to every child ideally, emotions coming from a sibling are special. Like for example, if your spouse is sick and needs care but wants secret, you don’t leave your spouse instead you respect their feelings out of love and compassion and you serve as a silent caregiver despite the abuse unto you.
  5. Older siblings get their first lesson of responsibility and care when helping and watching their parents care for little babies. Something an innocent child is missing because of secrecy and lies.
  6. They give a sense of a family. After all kids like playing with other kids and not adults all the time. It is upto the parents how to nurture the sibling bond into adulthood. Siblings can have different bonds. A traditional bond between blood sisters or brother-sister or brothers. Then there are “special bonds” between twins or triplets, then there are special bonds of a blended family, then there are special bonds between siblings who are adopted into a family, then there are special bonds between siblings who are born through IVF. It is more about thinking from the perspective of the child than anyone else. Why deny this opportunity of siblings?
  7. There is the sibling rivalry – whether it is nurtured into love or hate depends on how parents treat the siblings. Spiteful, Prejudiced, taking sides, selfish parents may not nurture a healthy relationship between siblings and the innocent siblings end up hating each other. They maybe enacting acts out of selfishness without realizing it is hurting a healthy relationship between siblings.
  8. Siblings have your back no matter what.
  9. If you are an Immigrant, international IVF parent and are unable to be present for your IVF child’s birth, your sibling will rush by the side of your new born IVF baby. You can’t pay someone to do that – thats family.
  10. If you are an immigrant, international IVF parent and your IVF child is abandoned but you cannot be there, your sibling will drop everything in their life, their work, their kids school just to be by the side of your new born IVF child AND fight against the abusive IVF clinic for the rights of the child – thats family.
  11. Siblings can help you create fraud documentation claiming you as a biological parent even though medically one is infertile – thats family.
  12. Siblings can help you lie and steal and keep your secrets – thats family.
  13. Siblings can help you break laws and keep your secrets – thats family.
  14. Either way whether they rescue your child or rescue you with lies and breaking the laws, it seems like siblings are the ones who rescue you when in need because there are very few other people we can confide in as adults.
  15. Then why deny an existing sibling to an innocent child – a sibling he wanted? Why deny an opportunity to make a sibling bond? Is this selfless love of a parent or selfish love? 

It is one thing to divorce but to split up innocent siblings AND place them in legal limbo deliberately takes ABUSE to a whole another level. It is traumatic to be infertile but that does not mean one can go around spreading lies, breaking laws, abusing people, abusing innocent children, violating basic human rights and child rights of innocent children. It is true that infertile immigrants don’t have fertility rights, so stand up and fight for rights rather than abusing others and living as a criminal. Its a far better lesson to teach an innocent child than any “love”. Even when unmarried gay couples split, both parents get practical co-parenting with the innocent children and siblings are NOT split. But if you are an immigrant, intersex IVF family in the 2000s, it is such a terrible crime that not only the child is separated from his biological family but also from his siblings and dehumanized due to lack of legal identity – the price of criminality, secrecy, lies and breaking laws. Even after 60 years, siblings UNITE from North and South Korea showing the love for each other and how governments CANNOT SPLIT siblings.

Siblings outlast marriages, siblings outlast divorces, siblings outlast lies IF they are given an opportunity.

Modern Day Slavery

In a recent study, India has a dubious presence of being the country with most modern-day slaves in the world – an estimated about 14 million people.Lincoln-slavery-freedom Slavery in any form is bad. January is National Slavery and Human Trafficking Month. As an evolving human society, we have learnt our lessons but have we? While most people are not affected by infertility or dysfertility and therefore are unaware about the underbelly of dealing with being childless. The “popular mantra” is providing a child to the infertile adult while ignoring the needs of the innocent, voiceless child. Most cases are normal but what happens when IVF children are victims and due to lack of laws have no legal recourse? Should we be allowing criminals to take children away from their biological families simply because they are affluent and infertile? Or does the CHILD have EQUAL rights? What we need is freedom from the slavery of secrecy, lies and fraud and have an opportunity to live freely with a valid legal identity. Recently, India has also become a global hub in international IVF/surrogacy. The international IVF industry is flourishing without any laws. Is this vacuum of lack of laws while churning out innocent IVF babies with compassionate surrogates creating modern day slaves in some cases? If so, where is the relief for victims and where is the justice? The spirit of the article is to bring change with stating facts and truth. Let us analyze the modern day slavery report and a case of an immigrant, IVF, intersex family in 2000s married in India and had IVF children in India and are split across two continents in the US and India and are denied to meet. “The study could help governments assess and eradicate slavery, which is a ‘hidden and diverse’ crime”, Walk Free said. We hope that the governments assess and eradicate the modern day vacuum in international IVF/surrogacy which is a “hidden and diverse” crime. The fact that innocent, voiceless IVF siblings have been heinously split is what prompts the discussion. The definition and parameters used in the Global Slavery Index by the Walk Free Foundation to define modern day slavery include:

1) Practices such as debt bondage – If two adults agree to have an IVF child together and one commissioning parent abandons an IVF pregnancy mid-way, should there be any responsibility and accountability placed on that parent for the welfare of the IVF child? In a commercial surrogacy situation, since the commissioning parent has abandoned, who will pay the surrogate for the IVF child and what are the rights of the surrogate? Because of the abandonment, the IVF child may become stateless without a “legal identity”, what are the rights of the IVF child? Do they deserve basic human respect and dignity? If one of the commissioning parents – the biological parent is forced to either also abandon his IVF child due to lack of laws or give up his career, life, and family and move to India to raise the abandoned IVF daughter and thus placing an extreme financial burden on him and the IVF child. Fighting for rights is very expensive and requires financial resources. If a natural born child is abandoned, legally there is a recourse to get child support for welfare of the child. But discriminating against an IVF child is OK? Are the needs of an IVF child any less than any other child? EQUAL is all we ask.

2) Forced marriage – Being intersex is very traumatic and is what we are told especially to people who have little to no awareness on the subject. Legally, intersex people cannot marry. What is the greater good – demand for equal marriage rights or lie and force unsuspecting victims into intersex marriage? Socially whatever we may think, legally being in an intersex marriage, both spouses have to deal with the lack of laws issues because an intersex marriage is illegal. Recently, Edie Windsor in the US in its defeat of DOMA demonstrated that the right answer is to change the laws, not break the laws. Along with her, several others benefited including immigration for same-sex spouses. Some spouses have waited over 40 years to legally marry but not break the law – their love did not decrease. Some spouses have waited several years to sponsor their spouse for US Immigration based on marriage unlike frauding the US Immigration for personal benefit. Forcing any unsuspecting spouse into a marriage under threats and silence is abuse. There are also intersex people who are honest which is a good example to follow than to lie, fraud, abuse and exploit others including innocent children. If an intersex person can demand for equal intersex rights and equal reproductive rights due to infertility, can they also give equal rights to IVF children and families and spouse caregiver of intersex? Being a victim of gender role stereotyping is one thing but to victimize a child like that is another. A spouse caregiver of intersex and an IVF father was the primary care provider for his IVF child when born because the intersex spouse was under medical treatment and was under severe trauma to care for an infant. That’s a fact creating a deep bond between the innocent child and the “father/mother/primary care provider” – why rob him of that just because it does not “fit the gender role stereotype”?  He was both a mother and father under the most grievous of circumstances. Neither the compassionate egg donor or the surrogate who gave birth were around, we lied. And if the “mother” is the person who spends the most time and bonds with the child in the initial months, then that would be the IVF father because of the unique circumstances. To deny the truth would be to also deny the facts of abuse and violence perpetrated while undergoing medical treatment with severe trauma and depression. It is sad and compassion worthy but it is not worthy of denial and lying. If a child is raised by a gay couple, who is the “mother”? Should we start teaching our children to say “primary care provider” instead of “mother” and “father” to get the point across?

3) Sale or exploitation of children – There are no specific laws for IVF children. There are 8 different ways in how parentage can be assigned in an IVF child while there is only one way for a natural born child. Socially whatever we may believe that it is the love for the child and not the biology or gender of the parent, the laws are strictly based on biology and gender of  a parent. This gap creates situations sometimes where innocent IVF children are rendered stateless and/or are exploited. What is their fault? Is having a legal identity the right of an individual? Is having valid birth documents the property of an individual – something they will need from birth to even age 60 or 70? Why should an innocent, voiceless IVF child be punished for crimes they did not commit?

4) Human trafficking – As stated earlier, the laws are based on biology and gender. If you do not like the laws, change the laws but do not break them especially which hurts innocent children. Legally, an intersex person cannot marry, nor can they have a biological child, neither have the adopted a child legally, then how can they have “legal custody” of an IVF child? Was there any suppression of facts? Were any laws broken or violated? Is this a sophisticated white collar crime in human trafficking? Is denying the IVF child the truth and access to his biological family and siblings a violation of his human rights? Is denying a valid legal identity to a child a violation of laws? A US grandmother was arrested and charged for abducting a child uncovered on presenting false birth documents.

5) Forced labor – Using an anonymous egg donor and surrogate for their compassion to have an IVF child is one thing, to lie and claim as your own and denying them the gratitude and facts is ____? Claiming to love an IVF child while abandoning another IVF child – their sibling is defined as love for the child in which world? Had the conspiracy to split the IVF siblings and suppressing the facts from court while creating a unique circumstance using anti-IVF laws, anti-gay laws, anti-LGBTI laws, could a person have got “legal custody” of an IVF child? Was the innocent IVF child used as “property” to be discarded with no consequences or is the IVF child a human being with protection of basic human rights and dignity?

6) Others are tricked and lured into situations they cannot escape – An unsuspecting male was tricked into a marriage only to be later revealed it is both marriage fraud and in fact is illegal because its an intersex marriage. Next came the intersex surgery during marriage which is even rarer and the resulting abuse, violence and caregiving of a person who is changing in every way possible. They say a spouse changes after marriage, this takes it to whole another level – physically, physiologically, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically. Next came the infertility and the resulting international IVF and its lack of laws and immigration issues. The trickery, secrecy, lies, fraud were so ingrained and brainwashed that one can simply not escape. That does not mean it did not occur. If the mistake is the crimes were not reported but that does not mean the crimes did not occur. We had become slaves to the secrecy, lies and fraud of living as intersex, immigrant and IVF in 2000s. The effects of this slavery is still continuing because innocent IVF brother and sister are divided and are stateless in legal limbo. The bigger questions to ask are :

  • How do we solve the issues of intersex? Is it by secrecy, lies and victimizing innocent, unsuspecting spouses – also humans OR by passing equal laws for which facts and truth is necessary?
  • How do we solve the issue of IVF/infertility? Medically, IVF helps infertile or dysfertile humans, have the laws caught up with technology to address the issue in “entirety”?
  • How do we solve the issue of IVF children rights? Is it enough to say that great we have delivered a child to an infertile or dysfertile human or do we also need to equally protect the IVF children and donors and surrogates and families and the “entire ” IVF ecosystem?

If it were 1800, to suggest to a person that if they don’t want to be a slave, they should change their skin color may have been appropriate for the time. But its 2000s and times have changed somewhat. If I were that person, I would keep my skin color the way it is and rather stand on the right side of history and fight for equal rights for me and everyone like me. A story of an immigrant, IVF father in 2014 is similar, rather than “accomodating” to the discriminatory laws of today, would rather stand on the right side of history and fight for equal rights of IVF children and families.

Surrogacy in USA

Surrogacy in USA is expensive and not affordable by everyone thus making it inaccessible. Just because one is infertile does not mean they will getfreedom USA affordable surrogacy. Too often the average American who is not a celebrity of sorts or a business tycoon or a huge net worth and just a working class hard working American goes to international places where the dollar travels farther in hopes to create a family through IVF/Surrogacy. Have the laws caught up with technology like IVF? Is it a crime to want to have an IVF child? Was it acceptable for gay fathers or single fathers to have IVF children in 2003? Do the laws also support it in parallel?

As soon as an American goes outside the country to have a child through IVF/Surrogacy to love and cherish for life, immigration laws get triggered because the child is born outside the USA. The immigration laws are different and the laws have to be respected. Just like it is not an excuse to steal, fraud a child by a working class American who cannot afford surrogacy in the USA, not having a “biological link” to a child born outside the US is no excuse to break the laws by claiming as theirs, one has to still follow the laws. Or is it OK to break the laws? USA is a very compassionate country who believes in respecting laws but for an immigrant, intersex, IVF family of 2000s, these words still ring hollow. If one can show compassion to an intersex person, why can’t we show compassion to an innocent, voiceless IVF child?

There are eight different ways parentage can be assigned in an IVF/surrogacy situation which varies from case to case while there is only one way to assign parentage in a natural born pregnancy. Are the (lack of ) laws trying to fit a square peg into a round hole? And if so, what are the effects of these lack of laws when it comes to immigration issues and is it adversely affecting innocent, voiceless IVF children who committed no crimes other than being born through IVF/surrogacy internationally. Is it a crime to be married to an intersex person and wanting to have children which would be either through adoption or IVF since the intersex condition is infertile? It is one thing to want to have a child at any cost but it is another to deny rights to an innocent, voiceless child. There are several families who may not report crimes because of compassion or love for their loved ones, that does not mean the crimes did not occur. Marriages fail all the time but it does not SPLIT innocent siblings where they can never meet, it does not place innocent brother and sister in legal limbo. Do humans [IVF children] who are in legal limbo have any protection of their legal rights and their legal identity?

If an American goes outside the US for international IVF/surrogacy and uses donor eggs and sperm but carries the IVF child to term herself, is she a legal mother who can sponsor her IVF children or not? As per prevailing immigration laws, she is not. Should she abandon the IVF child and return to her life in the US or should she live in exile outside the US and raise her IVF child lovingly as she had dreamed? And yes, the money for the IVF procedure was paid for by income in the US for which taxes were paid in the US. If the IVF child is abandoned due to lack of laws created from money sourced from after -tax US income, whose responsibility and accountability is it for the welfare and well-being of the IVF child?

If an American father goes outside the US for international IVF/surrogacy and uses egg donor and surrogate and his own biological sperm to have an IVF child BUT the IVF clinic swaps the sperm sample accidentally resulting in a DNA mismatch. As per prevailing immigration laws, the IVF child has no legal standing in the US. Again is this the fault of the IVF child, the intended US parents or the IVF clinic? Will it occur again? What will be the legal recourse? What if the IVF child is abandoned by the intended US parents as they may not want to move to another country to live, who is responsible and accountable for the welfare and well-being of the IVF child created by money sourced from after -tax US income?

If an immigrant father goes outside the US for international IVF/Surrogacy and uses egg donor and surrogate and his own biological sperm but a divorce is filed in the US by the infertile spouse with no mention of the ongoing IVF pregnancy outside the US. As per prevailing immigration laws, a biological immigrant father cannot bring his IVF child to the US without a “mother”. Are single fathers or gay fathers or spouse of intersex fathers allowed to love their children equally?  More importantly, what are the rights of the IVF child? The US court also hands out a divorce decree which is enforceable worldwide without taking into account the global scale of the case and welfare of the IVF child who technically and legally is born during the marriage. Whether an intersex marriage is a “same-sex” marriage or whether it is void or legal is a separate discussion. If the same child had been abandoned in the US, it would be a crime and there would be repurcusions on the abandoning parent. Are the rights of the  IVF child LESS? Is the basic, not equal, human dignity and respect for the IVF child less? By denying the rights of the child, are we dehumanizing them to justify the position?

We would have to ask the IVF child about the repurcusions of being in legal limbo. Like when she asks why she cannot get a passport or why is she land-locked? What was her crime? Or when she asks why she can only see her IVF brother on the computer and not in person who is also confined and land-locked and cannot travel outside the US. What is his crime? By denying a legal identity, the result is innocent voiceless IVF children living as slaves to secrecy and lies and being punished for crimes they did not commit even if the intent to enslave is not there.

The crimes here are relentless lying, secrecy and fraud by a person who happens to be intersex, infertile, immigrant and needs a child at any cost. There are several intersex or infertile people in this world but they do not hurt and abuse innocent children. People who abuse innocent children are criminals regardless of your race, skin color, gender, sexual orientation or otherwise. And if a criminal who happens to be intersex, infertile and an immigrant, they have a great story where they achieved all this in 2000s when it was illegal, question is can other intersex, immigrant, infertile people also do the same? Where is the greater good because the lack of laws still exist? Question is could they have achieved this great story without breaking the laws and without splitting innocent IVF brother and sister and placing them in legal limbo? Could they have achieved this in a time when equal rights for gays and IVF children and families exist?

It is hard enough to save up for IVF/surrogacy whether in the USA or anywhere in the world. It is hard enough to find a compassionate donor and a surrogate. It is hard enough to raise an IVF child while the other parent is recovering from their medical treatment with severe trauma and depression. It is hard enough to be frauded, lied, abused, and violently treated in forced silence but to have it repeated on innocent children, it has got to stop. To snatch the freedom from innocent children has got to stop. “Mr./Ms. USA, Tear Down These Walls” [of secrecy, lies and fraud]. We are remnants of an era when anti-gay, anti-IVF laws exist and for as long as the IVF children cannot meet, it is a ongoing reality for us and not something of the past. What we need is truth with compassion and it has to begin with innocent, voiceless children and equal rights for IVF children and families and intersex families.

Freedom Comes in Decades, Lifetimes, Multi Generations?

Freedom is an elusive word. Some of us forget the ones who fought for our freedom, some of us who havefreedom from shackles freedom do not respect it enough. Most of us are still fighting for freedom in our own ways. Whether it is a spouse who is a victim of domestic violence and abuse fighting for their freedom OR an abducted victim fighting for their freedom OR nations fighting for their freedom OR sexual orientation based freedom OR race based freedom OR gender based freedom OR immigrants fighting for their freedom OR IVF parents fighting for their freedom OR fighting from freedom against secrecy and lies OR fighting for TRUTH.

Historically, all humans who went on to be remembered for their struggles which led into a freedom movement of its own have relied on ONE UNIVERSAL fact – TRUTH. Their demands may NOT be WELCOME at the time but over time even after their death, their demands remain CONSTANT because they were based on TRUTHIf you are LGBT and Black in America, what does freedom mean to you? If you are an immigrant and IVF parent in America, what does freedom mean to you? African-Americans are a minority and a bigger minority than being IMMIGRANT and IVF parent. So at least the mainstream media gets them exposure if no solutions to the issues. As an immigrant and IVF, we don’t even get exposure let alone solutions to our issues caused due to lack of laws. So while we DO NOT want to distract from the ongoing debate on minority RIGHTS in the USA, we want to “take LESSONS” from it. The FACT is IVF brother and sister are SEPARATED because they are IVF and immigrants. If they were NATURAL BORN or were born in the US, they would NOT be SEPARATED. A parent NEVER stops loving his children. And to fight for JUSTICE and a better FUTURE for your children is what every human has been doing for last 10000 years. Being human is NOT about having a career, a great home, a great car, a great status, it IS about building a better FUTURE – thats what humanity is all about or is it?

1) “I consider my nephew’s murder a hate crime,” he told me, his voice laced with bitterness. “They hated his success.” – said US Congressman Elijah Cummings.

Is Vedant, an IVF son, a citizen of India SEPARATED from his primary care provider and his only known biological family under forced silence and threats a HATE CRIME against IVF children and families? Is it because his IVF father is an immigrant and IVF parent? Even if inadvertent, this is the REALITY. What is the solution?

2) “We have famous names of outstanding achievement,” the Rev. Jesse Jackson told me. “We have LeBron. We have Jay Z. We have Barack Obama. But that is not a random sample. What matters is the undercurrent, and it’s pulling our people down.”

We have great names who are following the laws and saying the TRUTH like Edie Windsor, Tony Briffa, Jaclyn Schulz and are an inspiration to us all for their strength and courage to speak the truth. What matters is the undercurrent, and it’s pulling people down. It is what makes people SNATCH away someone else’s freedom to satisfy their personal gains including using secrecy and lies.

3) In June 2013, the US Supreme court issued opinions restricting the reach of affirmative action and the Voting Rights Act. Earlier this month, a jury in Sanford, Fla., acquitted George Zimmerman of all charges, accepting his claim that he had shot and killed a 17-year-old unarmed black youth named Trayvon Martin in self-defense. The 2012 shooting and the 2013 verdict divided the country, but united Black America around the reasonable fear that no black child — especially no black male — is safe from the assumption that he is somehow a threat to the civil order on any street he walks.

In another ruling in June 2013, the US Supreme Court struck down DOMA opening the doors to over a 1000 federal benefits for gay families like immigration for gay families. Also in June 2013, the US Senate passed a landmark immigration reform bill.

What is the validity of spousal LGBTI immigration before 2013 because it clearly shows it was illegal? Is it a crime to LIE and break the laws? Will IVF children of immigrant gay families now be allowed to immigrate to the US regardless of the parent’s gender?

In 2009, SEPARATION of two innocent immigrant IVF brother and sister born in an intersex family and the ONGOING CRISIS of SEPARATION with NO RELIEF for VICTIMS shows that NO IVF child – especially NO IVF child of an IVF father (based on gender) – is somehow a threat to the social order of parenting and should be removed from the father at ANY and ALL costs.

Freedom is elusive. Any loving parent will continue to FIGHT for their children. We fight because we are a parent and also because we are HUMAN. If someone’s human rights are being violated, someone needs to speak up especially if the victims are innocent, voiceless children. Anyone who has gone through IVF understands that IVF is not just a birth or depositing your sample at the IVF clinic, IVF is a JOURNEY. International IVF involving immigration laws (or lack thereof) is a tragedy and the secrecy and lying is abuse and torture because one cannot get relief as a victim without the TRUTH being shared. It’s a roller coaster ride of emotions, finances, upheavals in life, stress, loss of job, and the nail in the coffin is LOSS of the IVF child due to LACK of laws!

It may take weeks, months, years, decades, lifetimes, multi-generations, but it is a FIGHT for TRUTH owed to IVF children and ALL others yet to be born. We need EQUAL rights for IVF children and families NOW. In the interim, we are ready for FALSE accusations, persecution, defamation, injustice, secrecy, lies, a thousand lies to hide one lie, etc. We have already EXPERIENCED this and are somehow still surviving and alive.