Tag Archives: father

Progressive Vs. Stereotype

There is nothing status quo about this case, so why start “status quo” now? In an international case of immigrant, IVF children and dysfunctional intersex family, what side would you be on? Not just today, but in the next 5-10-Move-Forward-IVF50-100 years when there will be equal laws for both intersex and IVF children  and families. One can use anti-gay laws, anti-IVF laws, anti-immigration laws in 2009 to deny the rights of an IVF child, but they cannot continue the discrimination forever. In 2013, gay rights and intersex rights have made great strides, we hope to soon see IVF rights and immigration rights that does NOT split families. Then will someone be able to abandon an immigrant IVF child to steal another IVF child? The lack of laws for IVF children and families is like placing a “staircase” in front of a wheelchair bound person. We need a ramp – laws for IVF children and families to stop this ongoing discrimination.

This case is anything but stereotypical. It is about being progressive. It is a proud moment to be a young, spouse caregiver because it shows the love and a homage to the parents who raised their child right. It is a proud moment to be a IVF parent because it shows the love of a parent irrespective of biology, gender or sexual orientation and should not be forced to lie and live in secret about IVF. We need to continue to move forward and NOT be held back with stereotypes, secrecy and lies for selfish and criminal benefit. Was it wrong to help a fellow human being who happens to be intersex, infertile, immigrant? In the process one gets exposed to the secrecy, lies and the inhumane treatment meted out on intersex families and their children who may be IVF. There is nothing stereotypical in dealing with complex issues like intersex, immigration, IVF, invisibility in 2000s. It is rather a proud moment to celebrate having survived and being alive to tell about it. Thanks to the love and support of the family. Thats a message we would like to teach our children and pay it forward and not a message of secrecy and lies.

Truth Vs Lies

Unite Vs Divide

Love Vs Vengeance

Caregiver Vs Patient

Patience Vs Selfish

Humanity Vs Crimes

Crime Against Human

We all have skeletons in our closet but are any of those skeletons of an infant or a child? If one has the guts, they should first defend and bestow the rights of an innocent child and then thump their chest about love for a child. Of course it would require them to be honest and follow the prevailing laws. It would require them to be honest with themselves and the children and then others including the court.

It is one thing for an officer of the court to lie, malign, conspire on behalf of their client but when the victim includes an innocent, voiceless infant, what is the SCORE? What is there to be happy about that you beat a voiceless infant and denied them their legal rights and dehumanizing them by making them “legally invisible“?

Is that child abuse? Is that a crime against the infant – a human being? Is that crime against a human?

It is very traumatic to undergo an intersex surgery AND without parents as caregivers AND having an infant to raise while stabilizing from the ongoing medical treatment. We can feel sympathy but it would be incorrect to DENY the abuse that occurred to an innocent IVF child while stabilizing and under medical treatment.

Never again will an IVF child be denied their rights. An IVF child will have rights to basic human dignity and respect if not equal. Hope is that by 2013 or 2020 or 2030 or 2040 or 2050, abandoning IVF children will be a crime and the abandoning parent will be held accountable and responsible. Anyone who aids and abets in this crime will also be held equally responsible for suppressing facts from the court who can decide the best interest of the child. Because that’s what it is about – best interest of the child and not about lying, selfish, criminal adult who breaks laws. If a parent of an intersex child seeks compassion and sympathy, why would it be an insult for an IVF parent to seek compassion and sympathy for his IVF children? If parents of an intersex child chose to lie and fraud (maybe even due to the advise of “experts” like health professionals), why should an IVF parent LIE and live in secrecy and repeat the same mistakes? More importantly, what good will the lying and fraud do? – more crimes?

The stereotype is a male is unemotional, uncaring, unloving, untrustworthy, unparentworthy, not affected by infertility roller coaster ride, but thats what it is – stereotypes and are not true. The question to ask is when 83% of males leave their spouse when the spouse is diagnosed with a traumatic condition, the question to ask is in an ever-changing stereotypical world, when a male is a primary care provider for their children, the question to ask is while statistically 1 in 6 couples are infertile, ALL gays, lesbians, intersex couples are dysfertile or infertile. If these stereotypes are true in this case, how can a MALE become a young, male, spouse caregiver of intersex AND an immigrant IVF father and be WITHOUT emotions, love, care, and trust?

Parent of IVF Nation

Mahatma Gandhi, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr, Nelson Mandela are some of the biggest humanitarian pioneers and inspirations of the 20th century. Both Dr. King and gandhi-king-mandibaMandiba have admitted Gandhiji as their mentor in principle. They all taught us a singular message that when it comes to human rights – its a long war but in the end truth always prevails. Their personal family lives suffer but they are “Father of the Nation”. While Dr. King may not have been awarded this title, he certainly changed the moral compass of an entire nation and USA being one of the most powerful nations in the world, he also ended changing the moral compass of the world just like Gandhiji and Mandiba.

  • Gandhiji – Right to Freedom
  • Dr. King – Right to Vote
  • Mandiba – Right to Vote
  • IVF Parent – Right to Fertility 

To take a note out of each humanitarian:

“Become the change you want to see in this world” – Mahatma Gandhi. Similarly, can there be laws and change for fertility rights so people don’t have to break laws?

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere” – Dr. King. Similarly, is injustice to IVF child/family enough to make us want reproductive laws?

“If one can be taught to hate, then they can also be taught to love.” – Madiba. Similarly, if human-made laws can split families, can new laws be enacted to keep IVF families united?

We have a dream that one day there will be equal rights for IVF children and families including straight, single, LGBTI parents. In the 21st century, we have new challenges – gay rights, immigration rights, IVF rights, reproductive rights, and so on. The British ruled India for centuries and it took Gandhiji a few decades to achieve freedom with his honest and peaceful approach. Dr. King fought for civil rights for a few decades before realizing his dream. Mandiba took a few decades to be free of apartheid. Gay rights movements have fought for decades before getting some rights in 2013. Immigration rights have made some success stories but is not complete and continues to split families. Reproductive rights, IVF rights are not even on the radar to be addressed yet. Claiming reproductive rights only belong to women is retrogressive because innocent children of LGBTI families, single parents, non-biological parents get punished because of lack of foresight in the laws. Mothers will always be mothers and no one cant take that away. By acknowledging facts where families exist with children of single male fathers or gay fathers or where fathers are primary care providers we are addressing the rights of a child and not threatening “motherhood” in any way. In the 21st century, reproductive rights need to be inclusive and be free of 20th century stereotypes.

When the peaceful and honest freedom for reproductive rights for all will be complete, we will witness the same principles of Gandhiji, Dr. King and Mandiba having won.

  • When truth will triumph over lies,
  • When love and character of a parent will count more than their gender or biology with the child,
  • When facts will triumph over traditional stereotypes,
  • When love and compassion will triumph over secrecy and lies,
  • When innocent, defenseless IVF children rights will triumph the mistakes of adults,
  • When we can honestly respect another soul’s existence like ours – meaning we all deserve equal respect and dignity regardless of caste, gender, color, race, religion, birth type (natural or IVF), birth place.

We look forward to the day when the Parents of the IVF nation will be treated equally and their intent will be taken into account. We look forward to the day when innocent, defenseless IVF children will have equal protection under law.

  • If there is a DNA mismatch in having a IVF child and the parent still wants to raise the child, there should be laws to allow that and the parent should not be forced to give up the child.
  • If an infertile parent who cannot have a “biological link” with a child, there should be laws to still allow them to immigrate with a “non-biological” child instead of breaking the laws.
  • If a gay parent or single parent wants to raise a child, their gender or circumstances should not be used to punish his children to be split up growing up separately.
  • If a parent carries her IVF child to term but with donor egg and sperm and therefore “no biological link” with the child, there  should be laws to still allow them to immigrate as a “mother”.

I Am ____

I am Scottsboro boysI am

I am Baby Scoop Era

I am IVF

I am immigrant

I am DSD family

I am LGBTI family

I am invisible

I am Rosa Parks

I am Susan B Anthony

I am Erin Brockovich

I am Edie Windsor

I am Tony Briffa

I am civil rights

I am reproductive rights

I am immigrant rights

I am family rights

I am IVF child

I am thankful for the compassionate donors and surrogates without whom could not have had lovely IVF children

I am caregiver

I am brother

I am sister

I am child

I am father

I am mother

I am primary care provider

I am infertile or dysfertile

I am human

I am no more lying

I am truth

This case is about all these people and only truth can get us a solution. Secrecy and lies punishes innocents and continued lies and secrecy to hid one lie further aggravates the situation failing to provide a solution. There are others who matter and who are human beings too. I am one of them to confront truth before its too late and not someone who is DSD, immigrant, infertile and enjoys an IVF child while claiming the child is natural born.

Relentless secrecy, lies, fraud, abuse, crimes, breaking the laws can help one achieve access to an immigrant, non-biological child but what is the greater good? Can it change facts?

This was not a crime of greed, this was not a crime of vengeance, but it was an act of selfishness, a crime of selfishness” – said Judge P. Kevin Castel of Federal District Court.

  1. While they can enjoy the IVF child, what does the IVF child want and need? If there is compassion for DSD, should there also be compassion for IVF child?
  2. While they can enjoy the IVF child, they still cannot change the fact that their actions are directly responsible for placing innocent IVF children in legal limbo and splitting the IVF siblings and two innocent childhoods have been robbed.
  3. While they can enjoy the IVF child, they still cannot change the fact that several DSD people cannot immigrate based on marriage because they dont have marriage rights and consequently no DSD family rights.
  4. While they can enjoy the IVF child, they still cannot change the fact that several infertile people cannot bring their non-biological IVF child to the US because of lack of immigration laws.
  5. While they can enjoy the IVF child, they still cannot change the fact that it is their lies and secrecy which has caused the innocent IVF children to be placed in legal limbo.
  6. While they can enjoy the IVF child, they still cannot change the fact that thousands of DSD people are born every year with the same natural condition and living without equal rights. Secrecy and lies will not help them achieve equal rights, truth, education, and awareness will.
  7. While they can enjoy the IVF child, they still cannot change the fact that the IVF child has a very loving parent, siblings, grandparents, and others who love him dearly but are denied his rights and their rights.
  8. While they can enjoy the IVF child, they still cannot change the fact about the compassion of egg donor and surrogate women and instead of celebrating their contribution, why lie to pass of the IVF child as a natural born child. Will the love for the child become any less by saying the truth? Why forbid others to say the truth?
  9. While they can enjoy the IVF child, they still cannot change the fact that there is a lack of laws for IVF children and families. The lack of laws is like placing a “staircase” in front of a wheelchair bound person. Would they have any experience about lack of “rights” as a DSD, immigrant, infertile person? And secrecy and lies is the right solution?
  10. While they can continue to lie, defame, violate human beings, they still cannot change the fact that this is about a DSD family, IVF parent, binational immigrant filled with noble intentions, love and compassion. Have they tried that lately –  Compassion and Truth? Despite the denial of DSD, infertility, we will always be canaries in the coal mine. Despite the secrecy and lies, we have been to DSD, IVF, Immigration and Beyond in 2000s.

This is about someone who is a relentless criminal and will abuse, violate, lie, fraud anyone including innocent children. Do the children have rights? Do other DSD people have rights? Do IVF parents have rights? Do caregiver have rights? Do immigrants have rights?

Why is so much importance given to biology between parent-child by laws?

Does biology matter between a parent-child or is it the love for the child that counts? Is it the truth (love) that counts? If child abduction is a crime, is illegalValue-IVF-Children child retention also a crime? More importantly, what is the best interest of the child removed from biological family? With IVF children and its resident lack of laws creates unprecedented situations. Due to a cloud of secrecy and lies around infertility and IVF, there may be false documents created and passed of as “legal” but that does not make the documents valid. Further, it becomes very hard to say the truth because one may have lied several times and broken the laws in the past and by coming clean in the best interest of the child, there may be persecution once the truth is revealed about the fraud. We have to respect the prevailing laws and if we don’t like them, we petition for change in laws, but is breaking laws a crime? Why is so much importance given to biology between parent-child by laws? We need to protect innocent children even if a minority from IVFphiles – a new brand of criminal that places innocent IVF children in legal limbo.

1) Immigration laws in countries across the world are based on requiring a “biological link” between a parent and a child. Laws require biology and gender for immigration and splits families sometimes because the gender or biology may not match with a child. In a case of illegal retention of an Indian citizen IVF child in the US, have laws been followed? IVF procedures in the US give “preference to families that already have children by the same donor”, is that in the best interest of the child?

2) Recently, a worldwide hunt was launched to find a “biological link” with parents of a child. It seems that the only reason for suspicion was the “blonde girl” did not fit in with the parents raising her. Eventually the biological parents were found in Bulgaria based on scientific DNA tests. Is presenting fraud birth documents of an IVF child a crime, especially an IVF child who is illegally retained away from his only known biological family?

3) In another story, an IVF child’s US passport was revoked when it was revealed that there was suppression of facts about the child being born through IVF and there was “no biological link” with the parent. Why are the laws not followed consistently for all IVF children especially for children who are being illegally retained away from their only known biological family?

4) In another story, a US citizen mother was denied US passports for her IVF children because she did not have a “biological link” as she only carried them to term using donor eggs while a mother in the US was determined to be a mother who also had IVF children through donor eggs. Why the difference in the laws? Why is biology made so important?

5) In another story, A US couple was unable to take their IVF child to the US because there was an accident in the IVF clinic of sperm sample resulting in a DNA mismatch between the IVF child and the US Citizen father. The US government followed the laws of requiring “biological link” for an IVF child to immigrate ignoring that “accidents in technology” continue to occur due to no fault of the parents. Is the policy encouraging IVF parents to get fraud birth documents or false DNA tests? US is one of the most technologically advanced countries in the world, they can take a lesson from Madam Curie where accidents in science and technology should be appreciated and move forward, not be used as a tool for punishment due to lack of laws.

6) In another story in the US, a grandmother was arrested and charged because she presented fraud birth documents of her grandchild. She had a biological connection but not as a mother. But there is no legal action against a person illegally retaining an IVF child away from his biological family using false birth documents?

7) In another story in the US, a woman who abducted a child at 19 days old, Ms. Carlina White, discovered on her own of the fraud of her birth documents and led her to find her own biological parents. The woman who abducted the child, Ms. Petite, was charged and convicted admitted she wanted a child at any cost which she did, but what is the best interest of the child? Judge Kevin Castel presiding over the case said,

8) In another story, a US citizen father was united with his biological son from Brazil to live happily ever after as said by then US Secretary of State Clinton, “A child belongs with his [biological] family”. Where is the justice for an IVF child illegally being retained away from his only known biological family without telling him the truth. Where is the best interest of the child?

9) During the baby scoop era, lots of western countries, engaged in forced adoptions of innocent children because their only fault was being born to “single mothers” and its inherent “social inacceptability” at the time. Since then, there have been apologies from the governments and a valid voice from the children and the biological mothers who were coerced and forced to become an accomplice to the abduction of their own child. Is the discrimination being repeated against a different group of IVF fathers because we are in the “transition” of “social acceptance” of some fathers sharing equal parenting activities? Should “gay fathers” be banned parent rights simply because we as a society do think that “fathers” are less as a parent?

10) As a society, we should have every compassion for intersex people and infertile people. What about compassion for IVF children and families including donors and surrogates? The right answer is have equal laws and not break the laws. The right answer is to educate and spread awareness to get equal laws. We cannot go around breaking the laws and placing innocent IVF children in legal limbo. We cannot go around creating IVF children and then abandoning them for personal benefit without any responsibility or accountability for the welfare of the innocent IVF child. The IVF child is an equal human being and deserves and demands basic respect and dignity as  a human if not equal.

Surrogacy in USA

Surrogacy in USA is expensive and not affordable by everyone thus making it inaccessible. Just because one is infertile does not mean they will getfreedom USA affordable surrogacy. Too often the average American who is not a celebrity of sorts or a business tycoon or a huge net worth and just a working class hard working American goes to international places where the dollar travels farther in hopes to create a family through IVF/Surrogacy. Have the laws caught up with technology like IVF? Is it a crime to want to have an IVF child? Was it acceptable for gay fathers or single fathers to have IVF children in 2003? Do the laws also support it in parallel?

As soon as an American goes outside the country to have a child through IVF/Surrogacy to love and cherish for life, immigration laws get triggered because the child is born outside the USA. The immigration laws are different and the laws have to be respected. Just like it is not an excuse to steal, fraud a child by a working class American who cannot afford surrogacy in the USA, not having a “biological link” to a child born outside the US is no excuse to break the laws by claiming as theirs, one has to still follow the laws. Or is it OK to break the laws? USA is a very compassionate country who believes in respecting laws but for an immigrant, intersex, IVF family of 2000s, these words still ring hollow. If one can show compassion to an intersex person, why can’t we show compassion to an innocent, voiceless IVF child?

There are eight different ways parentage can be assigned in an IVF/surrogacy situation which varies from case to case while there is only one way to assign parentage in a natural born pregnancy. Are the (lack of ) laws trying to fit a square peg into a round hole? And if so, what are the effects of these lack of laws when it comes to immigration issues and is it adversely affecting innocent, voiceless IVF children who committed no crimes other than being born through IVF/surrogacy internationally. Is it a crime to be married to an intersex person and wanting to have children which would be either through adoption or IVF since the intersex condition is infertile? It is one thing to want to have a child at any cost but it is another to deny rights to an innocent, voiceless child. There are several families who may not report crimes because of compassion or love for their loved ones, that does not mean the crimes did not occur. Marriages fail all the time but it does not SPLIT innocent siblings where they can never meet, it does not place innocent brother and sister in legal limbo. Do humans [IVF children] who are in legal limbo have any protection of their legal rights and their legal identity?

If an American goes outside the US for international IVF/surrogacy and uses donor eggs and sperm but carries the IVF child to term herself, is she a legal mother who can sponsor her IVF children or not? As per prevailing immigration laws, she is not. Should she abandon the IVF child and return to her life in the US or should she live in exile outside the US and raise her IVF child lovingly as she had dreamed? And yes, the money for the IVF procedure was paid for by income in the US for which taxes were paid in the US. If the IVF child is abandoned due to lack of laws created from money sourced from after -tax US income, whose responsibility and accountability is it for the welfare and well-being of the IVF child?

If an American father goes outside the US for international IVF/surrogacy and uses egg donor and surrogate and his own biological sperm to have an IVF child BUT the IVF clinic swaps the sperm sample accidentally resulting in a DNA mismatch. As per prevailing immigration laws, the IVF child has no legal standing in the US. Again is this the fault of the IVF child, the intended US parents or the IVF clinic? Will it occur again? What will be the legal recourse? What if the IVF child is abandoned by the intended US parents as they may not want to move to another country to live, who is responsible and accountable for the welfare and well-being of the IVF child created by money sourced from after -tax US income?

If an immigrant father goes outside the US for international IVF/Surrogacy and uses egg donor and surrogate and his own biological sperm but a divorce is filed in the US by the infertile spouse with no mention of the ongoing IVF pregnancy outside the US. As per prevailing immigration laws, a biological immigrant father cannot bring his IVF child to the US without a “mother”. Are single fathers or gay fathers or spouse of intersex fathers allowed to love their children equally?  More importantly, what are the rights of the IVF child? The US court also hands out a divorce decree which is enforceable worldwide without taking into account the global scale of the case and welfare of the IVF child who technically and legally is born during the marriage. Whether an intersex marriage is a “same-sex” marriage or whether it is void or legal is a separate discussion. If the same child had been abandoned in the US, it would be a crime and there would be repurcusions on the abandoning parent. Are the rights of the  IVF child LESS? Is the basic, not equal, human dignity and respect for the IVF child less? By denying the rights of the child, are we dehumanizing them to justify the position?

We would have to ask the IVF child about the repurcusions of being in legal limbo. Like when she asks why she cannot get a passport or why is she land-locked? What was her crime? Or when she asks why she can only see her IVF brother on the computer and not in person who is also confined and land-locked and cannot travel outside the US. What is his crime? By denying a legal identity, the result is innocent voiceless IVF children living as slaves to secrecy and lies and being punished for crimes they did not commit even if the intent to enslave is not there.

The crimes here are relentless lying, secrecy and fraud by a person who happens to be intersex, infertile, immigrant and needs a child at any cost. There are several intersex or infertile people in this world but they do not hurt and abuse innocent children. People who abuse innocent children are criminals regardless of your race, skin color, gender, sexual orientation or otherwise. And if a criminal who happens to be intersex, infertile and an immigrant, they have a great story where they achieved all this in 2000s when it was illegal, question is can other intersex, immigrant, infertile people also do the same? Where is the greater good because the lack of laws still exist? Question is could they have achieved this great story without breaking the laws and without splitting innocent IVF brother and sister and placing them in legal limbo? Could they have achieved this in a time when equal rights for gays and IVF children and families exist?

It is hard enough to save up for IVF/surrogacy whether in the USA or anywhere in the world. It is hard enough to find a compassionate donor and a surrogate. It is hard enough to raise an IVF child while the other parent is recovering from their medical treatment with severe trauma and depression. It is hard enough to be frauded, lied, abused, and violently treated in forced silence but to have it repeated on innocent children, it has got to stop. To snatch the freedom from innocent children has got to stop. “Mr./Ms. USA, Tear Down These Walls” [of secrecy, lies and fraud]. We are remnants of an era when anti-gay, anti-IVF laws exist and for as long as the IVF children cannot meet, it is a ongoing reality for us and not something of the past. What we need is truth with compassion and it has to begin with innocent, voiceless children and equal rights for IVF children and families and intersex families.

Houston, We Have Nothing

There was the Apollo mission and then there is the international IVF by a binational immigrant mission and we Love-Honesty-Truth-Respect-Nothinghave NOTHING. One does IVF (in vitro fertilization) due to infertility or dysfertility. And a trace do it for “cosmetic” reasons. Maybe the notion of having a baby is more important than actually caring for a baby. Regardless of why one does IVF, the chances of success are pegged at 33%, the medical treatment is not easily affordable and therefore not easily accessible by all who need it, and the end objective is to be blessed with a baby. The point is there is careful planning, deliberate sacrifices, and lot of struggles to get to the final stage when the baby arrives. So what does one do when the IVF baby is born into our wonderful world?

We Have Nothing?

In hindsight, when one embarks on international IVF as a binational immigrant, the first thing to strike you is NOT the money, NOT the sacrifices, NOT the distance, NOT the remote logistics, NOT the so many “what ifs”, NOT the trauma and anxiety and uncertainty, NOT the secrecy and lying, it should be the LAWS. Which by the way are non-existant for IVF children born of binational immigrants. Rather one embarks as a human being due to love, honesty, truth and respect.

Love : A deep loving bond has to exist in order for two people to commit to have an IVF child remotely in another country and agree to raise the IVF child together.

Honesty : There is honesty between two people who know the facts as to who is the biological parent of the IVF child – something required by law. Or else one would need to adopt – again something required by law. The honesty also entails a pact between two people that the IVF child shall remain with the biological parent at all times.

Truth : There is truth between two people to abide by the prevailing laws especially when transfer of a human being (the IVF child) is concerned across international boundaries which requires legal paperwork including a valid passport and visa. There is an agreement between two people to show up in a foreign country when the IVF child is born and return to the resident country with the IVF child and raise the two siblings together.

Respect : There is respect for the infertile person that despite their condition which is naturally occurring meaning it is NOT in their control.

There are lot of undeclared points between two people which are NOT on a legal contract. Does that mean LAWS have NOT been broken? Does that mean other binational immigrants who choose to do international IVF can successfully bring an IVF child born outside the US to the US? In order for that to happen, laws will have to CHANGE. For now, all we have is love, honesty, truth and respect to show. Or is that NOTHING? 

The IVF children

It is one thing to hate your spouse. That is nothing uncommon, just ask several of the married and divorced people including heterosexuals, gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, intersex (GLBTI). It is completely separate to DENY a child their rights, to DENY a legal identity to an innocent child, to DENY siblings a chance to grow up together as was planned and agreed upon, to DENY a son his loving father’s affection. It is about time to speak up against the heinous and torturous situation for the sake of the IVF children, if not NOW then when? What did the secrecy and lying achieve? Had the Apollo astronauts not said the now famous words, “Houston, we have a problem”, how could the ground staff and the crew have manged to work together to get out of a less than “sticky and messy” situation? Only truth is the way to move forward or we have NOTHING.

Challenge : If the intersex person is so sure about having done the right thing, the challenge is to make it repeatable. Find one person out of 7 billion in the world willing to go through the same thing. And will make the challenge little easier, one can start with saying the truth instead of secrecy and lying. If you find such a person, the good news is you will have another child and there will be a “sibling to grow up with” for the older child. If not, the answer is we have NOTHING.

Marching Ahead

Practice what you preach. This case is “reverse”  in every sense of the way where the father has stepped out of the stereotype in every way possible. So first practice and then preach.

The proud IVF father understands the reasons why an infertile person would lie at any cost to have a child. In fact, he considers himself lucky that he has been left alive, there are cases where infertile people have murdered fertile people to take away their child. After living with love, honesty, truth, respect, the proud IVF father has got NOTHING. He understands the right answer is to get LAWS passed so people do not have the need to lie or break the laws. And that’s where he is focused now, to get EQUAL rights for IVF children and families. It will benefit him and his IVF children and the millions of other IVF children born and yet to be born.

The principles of love, honesty, truth, and respect have NOT changed. The mission has. The mission for Apollo 11 was to land on the moon which CHANGED unexpectedly to a rescue mission to just safely land on earth and be with family. The proud IVF father is just wanting to live “normally” with truth and honesty with family on earth. Do we have something or nothing?

March Ahead

We hope to teach our children to say the truth and when something is unfair, demand to change the laws, NOTMarch Forward BREAK the laws at the cost of ruining others’ lives. Do CRIMES pay?

Dealing with TWO MINORITIES – IVF and intersex is a question of survival and lack of support and awareness. Demanding EQUAL rights is a few decades away and probably past our lifetimes. Change begins with education and spreading awareness.

We cannot wait to see EQUAL RIGHTS for IVF CHILDREN because then their EXISTENCE will be recognized along with LEGAL RIGHTS.

We cannot wait to see LAWS based on LOVE of a parent rather than BIOLOGICAL LINK and GENDER.

We cannot wait to see the day when there are equal intersex rights. Will it come at the cost of SPLITTING innocent IVF siblings?

We cannot wait to see the day when same-sex marriages are legal. Will it be based on lying, cheating and fraud OR two men or women happily and honestly in love with each other?

With a pragmatic approach, sadly with marriages there are divorces. Will “same-sex” divorce hold the BEST INTEREST of the CHILDREN?

We cannot wait to see two males raising their lovely children because then fathers will get social acceptance as as the primary care provider and NOT used as a weapon against them.

We cannot wait to see a STOP to “normalization surgery” in intersex as demanded by us and as a Special Rapporteur on Torture at UN also stated so unequivocally. The difference is we demanded it based on first-hand experience while the UN did it based on academic expertise and so their voice is MORE POWERFUL and is heard. 

We cannot wait to see global reconciliation of “third gender” legal rights for binational third genders. While countries allow LEGAL recognition of third gender, other countries only recognize a binary gender. When a “third gender” person from such a country immigrates to a “binary gender” country, how will it be reconciled legally? And what about the basic human rights of the “third gender” person wanting to be recognized as “third gender”? Will they have to “give up” their legal recognition in order to immigrate to a “binary gender” country?

We JUMPED through SEVERAL HOOPS and answered the gut-wrenching questions in our own way, be human. Sadly, the approach of secrecy and lies is being used as a WEAPON against our innocent children. No parent would remain silent. Punish the criminals, punish the one who failed to report the crimes, but why punish the innocent children? Bestowing HUMAN RIGHTS as an individual where the LAWS fall short is WRONG because it PUNISHES innocent CHILDREN. Demand for change in LAWS, we look forward to the healthy discussion with TRUTH and FACTS.

Oppression, persecution, suppression of facts, and so on historically have been used when dealing with rights of minorities and social issues. Over time, all the tactics fail and LAWS are passed to give equality and sometimes even recognizing the people who fought for it, albeit posthumously. Is that hypocrisy? Avoiding the inevitable and punishing the innocent is a failed approach, let us try something different. TRUTH maybe? Let us see what the future brings. We are hopeful its a ray of sunshine glistening with TRUTH and EQUALITY.

Protected: The Right Solution in an Intersex Marriage

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