Pay It Forward – Living in the 22nd Century

Maybe pigs will fly in the 22nd century, maybe humans will have a stomach belt or something to make individual flying possible like “one-person helicopters” or maybe characters in TV will come flying out and have holograms sitting next to us and have a “chat” with us or maybe we can all just get along. This article is not about the technological advancements of humans in the 22nd century, it is about social justice landscape in the 22nd century. Our story in the 21st century begins after LGBTI rights have become equal; still not there in 2013. Whether it is slavery, women suffrage, end to colonialism, independence and freedom, civil rights, apartheid, interracial marriages, gay rights, etc; life goes on. What legacy do we want to leave behind for children? Is it wrong to want to raise your children based on truth with compassion and independence with love? There is every sympathy for intersex people which has been shown more by action than in words; there are other victims too. Let truth prevail and certainly continuing to lie and live in secrecy is a failed approach. Why remain “invisible” in the eyes of the law? It is better to die trying to become “visible” in the eyes of the law and make a “dent” in the social justice fabric if not for us personally, maybe for future generations yet to come – pay it forward. After surviving death, the truth has to be heard as the silence is victimizing innocent children.

Truth with Compassion and Independence with Love

Welcome to the landmark case of the century – we are dealing with four Is – intersex, infertility (IVF), immigration, invisibility. If we were dealing with only one of these issues, it is a challenge to overcome but dealing all together is just lucky to be alive.

A dysfunctional intersex family who is infertile or dysfertile and are also immigrants. All three subjects are very sensitive and complicated to be talking about it in 2013. There is a veil of taboo, secrecy, stigma, lies. For our situation, the laws do NOT exist. Basically, we are “invisible” in the eyes of the law and are not a critical mass to make up any electoral votes. It seems cats and dogs have better “human rights” than us in the 21st century. At least, the cats and dogs are “visible” in the eyes of law, we do not even exist, so how can there be “human rights” for binational immigrant IVF parent and his IVF children?

We see a future where there are equal intersex rights to be able to marry legally and able to adopt children legally so intersex families do not have to lie, cheat, and fraud unsuspecting innocent victims. Being intersex is a genetic condition and is not in a person’s control but being honest or lie about is in their control. Every marriage has varying degrees of lies but what if the lies break the laws?

We see a future where there are equal rights for IVF children and families so that IVF parents no longer need to lie or make fraud documents just to have a child. As a human being, every person has the right to want to become a parent, it is human. But NOT at the cost of innocent children’s rights or victimizing them who may be too young and voiceless to know or fight for their rights.

We see a future where lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex (LGBTI) will have equal marriage and immigration rights so that people who love each other do not have to be separated from each other. More than that, it is about respecting basic human decency. That way people DO NOT have to lie about their sexual orientation or gender when asking for equal rights.

The common thread in all this is becoming “visible” from “invisible” – first socially and then legally.

Indirect Laws by 22nd Century

As a young, male, spouse caregiver of intersex and an IVF male parent in the 21st century, no laws exist to protect our human rights or our caregiver rights or our parental rights and so on. The reality is we will get “indirect” laws.

• If gay rights existed, there would also be laws for domestic violence and abuse against men.
• If gay rights existed in 2009, an IVF father can ride on the coattails of such laws to bring their IVF child with them.
• If equal rights for IVF children and families existed, an IVF father can ride on the coattails of such laws and get “legal status” for the innocent, voiceless IVF children. Current status of legal limbo for IVF children is a violation of their human rights.
• Maybe there will be equal rights for intersex and thus there is less or no lying when an intersex divorce occurs. And that way there is a practical solution where the child is in a practical shared custody – the best interest of the child.
• There are people who are vocal about their breast cancer or ovarian cancer or testicular cancer and other traumatic conditions. That way they are getting the help they need and if they have a caregiver, he or she is also allowed to share the truth with others and get the help and support they need. It will take more than a century to understand the abuse, trauma, violence, fraud, lies perpetrated on a young, male, spouse caregiver of intersex and a binational immigrant IVF father.