Equal Rights for ALL

It Takes A Village

It takes a village to raise a child, in interdependent world” – Hillary Clinton, in her book It Takes A Village.

This was not a crime of greed, this was not a crime of vengeance, but it was an act of selfishness, a crime of selfishness” – said Judge P. Kevin Castel of Federal District Court.

This is NOT about can an intersex person be a good parent, IT IS ABOUT:Equal Rights for ALL

1) A brother’s rights to grow up with his sister he wanted

2) A sister’s rights to NOT be abandoned and forcefully SEPARATED from her brother

3) A fast aging and loving grandmother who raised an innocent IVF child, their first grandson, to see him one last time before she happily passes on to another world

4) A fast aging and loving grandfather who raised an innocent IVF child, their first grandson, to see him one last time before he happily passes on to another world

5) A son’s love for his father who misses him dearly

6) A father who misses his son dearly and the times of lego, swimming, soccer, reading, cycling, eating, dreaming together about a little sibling among other things.

7) It is about the basic human rights and child rights of an innocent, voiceless IVF child to roam freely anywhere in the world for exposure, education and self-empowerment.

8) Should Vedant be afforded his VILLAGE?

Nothing reminds us more for EQUAL IVF CHILD RIGHTS when Medhavi lovingly feeds her little brother, is fascinated with his eyes, how the teeth are still coming, walks on four legs with him, sleeps together holding hands, helps him bathe, hugs, kisses, love, and so on…Why should these opportunities be STOLEN from VEDANT? 

It is NOT about GREATNESS, it is about fighting for TRUTH and EQUAL RIGHTS for others and yourself. When Maulik discovered his spouse was intersex at a fertility test to have a child, he did not deter. When the spouse decided to have a controversial “normalization surgery” during marriage which UN has called for a STOP, Maulik did not deter but went into the UNKNOWN and cared for the spouse in silence rather than leave like 83% of males do when a spouse is diagnosed with a major illness. When faced with infertility, as a bi-national immigrant to the US, Maulik did not deter, and had a child through IVF in India while living as immigrant in the US and thus US immigration laws kick in. Unfair, Unreasonable, Undeserved are all too common to Maulik in a dysfunctional intersex family but why are IVF SIBLINGS being punished by being FORCED to grow up SEPARATELY? Maulik suffered in silence and did not report the abuse, so punish him for not reporting the crimes and showing compassion, why PUNISH the innocent IVF brother and sister?

Lessons Learnt

1) Opting for IVF is personal, EQUAL IVF CHILD RIGHTS is a public policy issue and can only be had by speaking up.

2) Awarding EQUAL RIGHTS to intersex in silence where the LAWS fall short can be USED AGAINST you. Silence is golden but at what point silence becomes abuse, victimization and violation of others rights? Is SILENCE = VIOLENCE?

3) If an intersex person has custody of an IVF child, is it LEGAL or where any LAWS broken? Can it be REPEATED by another intersex person without lying or breaking any LAWS? What about equal rights for other intersex people?

4) If gay rights existed, the IVF siblings would be UNITED. Is it their FAULT to be born ahead of our times?

5) If gay rights existed, fathers would be seen as EQUAL LOVING PARENTS, is it Maulik’s FAULT to try to UNITE his IVF children?

6) If TRUTH were used in treating intersex during marriage, a controversial normalization surgery would have NEVER occurred as UN Special Rappoteur on Torture (SRT) recently released a statement to STOP such surgeries. It is interesting that “Torture” team took up this issue as a violation of human rights issue. What about violation of human rights of an intersex family including children because of this controversial surgery during a marriage?

7) Since the controversial “normalization surgery” NEVER occurred during a marriage, how can we discuss effects of “normalization surgery” in an intersex person and how long it takes to stabilize to become a primary care provider for a child? As per a recent UN Special Rapporteur on Torture statement, they asked for a STOP to such normalization surgery, something we have asked for several years based on first-hand experience.

8) People like Tony Briffa and Imogen Callaway are the leaders when it comes to intersex advocacy because of their honesty. We support EQUAL INTERSEX RIGHTS both morally and in action (as proven) as long as TRUTH and SENSITIVITY take the lead.

Sadly, there are narcissistic women as told by other women who will do anything.

A child belongs with his [biological] family” – then US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said on why Sean Goldman, a US Citizen child, should be UNITED with his father in the US. The same reason why Sean deserved to be UNITED with his father, Vedant, an Indian citizen, deserves to be UNITED with his father and sister and grandparents and family and cousins and TRUTH – his VILLAGE.

1 thought on “It Takes A Village

  1. Rebecca had Polycystic Ovaries, a small amount of etnomedriosis and a heart shaped uterus (septum in uterus). She had corrective exploratory surgery to correct these issues at another facility, however, we never really felt comfortable there from the start and just figured out options were limited.An old friend had referred us to Dr. April Gago and we were extremely glad he did. From the first moment there, we were at ease that we were in good hands.As a guy, the entire process is not nearly as emotionally intense as it is for a woman. The most important thing is that Rebecca felt comfortable from the minute she walked in. Meeting the doctor was pure delight compared to what we were used to and she showed true compassion and sympathy for our situation.Dr. Gago allowed us to move at our own pace and let us choose our own options. She worked with us on the drug choices to see which would be covered by insurance, which had the highest success rate and what procedures we felt comfortable using, along with the associated risks/complications/advantages. She was extremely thorough in her descriptions and showed us a complete array of unbiased choices. We never once felt compelled or pushed in one direction or the other.We chose to go IUI or Intrauterine Insemination the first go-round. This was one of the cheaper options and yielded pretty good success in younger women hoping to conceive. The risk of multiple pregnancies was explained to us and we hoped for the best. Rebecca was closely monitored, every other day to see how the follicles were coming along and to estimate approximately how many eggs would be released. If there are too many, they notify you. If you are not ready, they will also let you know. Once they were convinced she would be ovulating within the next 24 hours, we were scheduled to come in.The procedure is fairly quick and easy. After taking a semen collection from me, they filter it out and clean it up. They explain the entire procedure to you, but the important thing to note is they collect the most motile and active swimmers (we are yet to see if that will promote a motile and active child!). Once that procedure is completed 1.5-2 hours, they inject the semen into Rebecca’s uterus in hopes of introducing the sperm with the egg. This is a painless procedure and the rest is left up to mother nature.This is an emotional time for a couple or mother-to-be to experience. We were so hopeful and the team at the Gago Center only encouraged and supported our hope. They made us feel like they really cared and hoped the procedure would work out as well. Not once did they say “don’t get your hopes up” or “more often than not, this does not work.” They were completely encouraging and helpful to honestly answer any questions asked. We truly believe that attitude plays a tremendous role in the outcome of what happens in your body. With the nurse’s and doctor’s constant encouragement, we feel it gave us the push we needed to stay positive and conceive.We are happy to report that after one procedure with Dr. Gago, we were blessed with the gift of life growing inside Rebecca’s womb. While I know this could have taken a couple of tries, and in some cases, many years before it actually takes, I do believe that the support and reassurance given to us by Gago’s team remained a huge factor in the process. For this, we are forever thankful.Those who are going through any type of procedure, and speaking from personal experience; be patient. It is normal to feel anxious, sad, let down, broken, dismayed, frustrated, but if you cannot hold on to hope, there will most likely be no hope for you. It sounds a bit like a cliche9, but I can attest to the power of positive thinking and having the friendly support of a staff who seems to share the same belief. We certainly hit some bumps in the process, but Dr. Gago was always there with a reassuring hug for my wife and positive reinforcement, and for that, there can be absolutely no substitute. Be prepared for a journey and try to make the most of it. I say when life hands you lemons, you should make some lemonade and enjoy it.Would I recommend Dr. Gago and the Center to family, friends or even perfect strangers? The answer is unquestionably, Yes!Highest Regards,Mike and Becky S.

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