Canary in the Coal Mine

It all started with a LIE or maybe multiple LIES. After all how can one hide the LIES – they eventually do come canary-in-coal-mineout. There was LOVE too but as the LIES began to unravel, the LIES overwhelmed LOVE too. After a decade of secrecy, lies, fraud, cheating, abuse, violence, victimization, breaking the laws, silence, the worst thing to experience is not all of the above, the worst is to have these repeated on your innocent, voiceless children. If there is a manual for torture somewhere, even that may not include these heinous crimes. An adult survives and since they are alive, they have to deal with life and move forward. Like for example, giving a LEGAL STATUS to the innocent, voiceless IVF children and getting them out of LEGAL LIMBO. This is about the FUTURE of all IVF children and families and a world where they have EQUAL rights.

got TRUTH? – thats a beginning.

Maybe we were the canaries in the coal mine left for DEAD. The major issues that surround the case are the 4 Is –  intersex, infertility (IVF), immigration and invisibility. That’s exactly what this is – an early bird warning. To shoot the messenger would be the greatest disservice to IVF children and families, donors and surrogates and intersex and caregiver rights. Each issue is complex on its own merits and each issue is dealt with secrecy and lies which does NOT help anyone in the long-term.

1) Gay marriages are beginning to get legalized, what will be the rules for gay divorce? How will the children (siblings) in a gay marriage be SPLIT? (Does that shock you to SPLIT children or is that a King Solomon moment?) Scientifically, only one parent will be a biological parent.

2) Same-sex immigration is now being allowed. Check, we got that taken care of. What about people who frauded the system before? What about people who are living in EXILE and are SPLIT from their family in US due to the OLD immigration system?

3) When two males try to have a child together, they will always require compassionate services of an egg donor and surrogate. Do we have laws to represent the facts? Any technology needs to be harnessed and requires a legal framework, why not IVF technology?

4) When two males have a child together, will they be allowed to breastfeed? If a child is abused inside the four walls and if that’s a crime, what is it to make an infant cry in hunger due to lack of milk when a male breastfeeds inside the four walls?

5) When an IVF child is born to two males with help of compassionate egg donor and surrogate internationally meaning two different jurisdictions are involved, the IVF child will have a mother BUT may not have a LEGAL mother. For example, an IVF child born in India to US parents. What are the RIGHTS of an IVF child with NO LEGAL MOTHER? Are we inadvertently and knowingly placing innocent, voiceless IVF children in LEGAL LIMBO?

6) If international adoption has LAWS and is governed by rules like homestudy and subsidiarity principle to keep siblings together, why are LAWS for international IVF missing and what rights do IVF siblings have?

When one sees the little IVF sister, one sees the BIG eyes, a beautiful smile, and the words, “Where are MY RIGHTS?” on her cute forehead. It is hard to miss. Everytime you look at her, it reminds you. Even behind that big smile and the glowing eyes and cute voice that never goes quiet, the little girl reminds you, “What is MY FAULT?” Is rendering someone STATELESS a crime? Is rendering a child STATELESS and denial of their rights endangering their welfare? Is rendering a child STATELESS a crime against humanity?

We can understand the desperation of an infertile person. We are blessed that we are still alive. But to cause such hurt and pain to innocent children is just too much to ask to stay silent. We did the caregiver part, the intersex part, the IVF part, the invisibility part, the lack of laws part, the victimization and abused part, NOW it is time for TRUTH part. The innocent, voiceless IVF children deserve better than LIES. They deserve their basic human dignity and not to be treated like “property”. If someone can place an “order” for a baby in a different country and then later change their mind and “give up” the baby with NO responsibility or accountability for the child, is that right? Does the child have rights? Now imagine if this is your child…how does that make you feel? Is your child valuable or should be discarded with NO action? What about the compassionate surrogate who carried the child, should she be FORCED to keep the child and raise her? Who will PAY the compassionate surrogate for her services since the commissioning parent did not show up? Does the surrogate have any RIGHTS?

No IVF child or donor or surrogate should EVER have to deal with this again. Even one bad apple is too bad because HUMAN LIVES are involved and that too innocent children. What’s next? Human cloning for personal amusement?

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