Appeal to the US Government

Equal Rights for IVF Children

“It is a brave and honest person who can stand apart from the masses and openly challenge its Equal Rights for IVF Childrenmost treasured beliefs.” ~ Donna Evans

Prayer

As US is getting ready to update Immigration laws, we have an historic opportunity to have equal IVF child rights for future IVF children of US citizens and legal immigrants to US. The American people I know are very compassionate, pioneering and always doing the right thing. The right answer is to change the laws and not break the laws. We urge you to look into the following suggestions in the best interest of the innocent IVF (in vitro fertilization, Link is :http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IVF ) child. We need laws from a child’s perspective. We request rules and regulations, new laws on behalf of the innocent IVF children who do not become helpless victims. This is our generation’s fight. It has a mix of Susan B Anthony, Rosa Parks, MLK, Jr. and Erin Brockovich among others who directly or indirectly defined the struggles of their times. For just about any minority or special-interest group there is an organization that provides support and helps navigate the victims through the maze of police, courts, and justice. Yet there is nothing specifically to protect the rights of IVF children, the most vulnerable of the vulnerable? Orphans, adopted children and foster children have rights including international laws, why not IVF children?

IVF Immigration Laws In The US

The Bureau of Consular Affairs “is aware that the regulations and laws [relating to the transmission of citizenship through surrogacy] have not kept pace with technology and is working with legal advisers and other agencies to update policies.” – June 2011 report by US State Department

US is in a unique position to become a leader in surrogacy and IVF laws in the world and protect innocent child rights and human rights. Have the laws kept pace with technology like IVF? As per CDC data (Link : http://www.cdc.gov/art/ ), about 1% of children born in the US are through IVF. Is there any data with US Government that would show the number of IVF children born outside the US to US citizens or legal US residents? It is a minority by any account and sadly, infertility and IVF are often shrouded with secrecy meaning it would be hard to get an accurate count to highlight ALL the horror IVF issues that affect already traumatized infertile US couples/people. equal law

The primary objective is to establish equal child rights and respect for basic human rights. IVF is a medical technique to soften the blow of infertility, not complicate it. If all children are born equal then why don’t laws support that? When I see an IVF child smile, I see no difference between an IVF child’s smile and a natural born child’s smile, then why the difference in the laws? Technology is changing and we cannot have archaic 20th century laws. We need to have laws from a child’s perspective and not based on parent’s gender and “biological link”. We understand this is new territory and only honest discussion and truth will bring change. We are more interested in a solution than anything else. We have absolute confidence that the changes we are asking for is a question of IF and not WHEN. We are asking to accelerate the inevitable and support the truth.

Why Contact You?

As one parent to another, I have come to you to appeal on behalf of IVF children and the need for equal rights for an IVF child and IVF families. I want to bring to your attention what the lack of laws is doing to innocent children currently. Please share this with your spouse, also a parent. As a parent or uncle or aunt, I am sure you would want equal child rights for your own children and children in general. If you know me and have seen me around children, you know I love children and deeply care about children. Sadly, infertility and IVF are dealt with a lot of secrecy and lot of FACTS do not come out. Since I have come out, I have talked to several other IVF parents who have faced worse atrocities but are silent in fear of stigma from within the family and outside the family but it is evident that we need equal IVF laws in the best interest of the innocent IVF children and not more trauma after already going through the trauma of infertility. This is about safety and security of FUTURE IVF children and IVF families. It is with this in mind, I appeal to you to request your local Congressperson or Senator to pass equal laws for children.

Live Free – Live Simple. Secrecy and lies breed complexity, truth breeds simplicity and freedom as Lance Armstrong showed that relentless lying, cheating, fraud, bullying and a life of crimes has no rewards in the end and any parent is sized up by their little kids with truth.

Personal Experiences

When You Live to the Right of Morality and To the Left of Legality; innocent IVF siblings get punished.

When I started on the infertility journey, I knew nothing about infertility or IVF other than showing compassion and sensitivity. Thats all I am asking of you is compassion and sensitivity, this is a HUMAN RIGHTS and a CHILD RIGHTS issue. When I was forced to leave the US and live in exile, I had to choose between an innocent IVF son (Vedant) in the US Vs. an innocent infant IVF daughter (Medhavi) in India who could NOT come to the US as per prevailing US laws without a “legal mother”. Trauma and abuse are an understatement, survival for the innocent children became critical. I could have had given her up for adoption or abandon her but we raised her because it was NOT her fault to be born IVF and you do not abandon a child. Thanks to my aging parents, Vedant and Medhavi’s grandparents, who raised infant Medhavi at a great personal cost to their health. Now, when I see her pouring “play juice” from her playset to a picture of her brother Vedant, it reminds us what have Vedant or Medhavi done wrong? It was a child’s wish to have a sibling. Are IVF children not allowed to wish for a sibling? Like the forced adoptions of the “baby scoop era”, the innocent children’s ONLY FAULT was they were born to a “single mother” as it was socially unacceptable back then. Is the ONLY FAULT of IVF siblings today the gender of their biological parent, a father? If the same two IVF children were born of eggs of the same woman and through a sperm donor and surrogate, would they be SPLIT? Why punish the innocent IVF siblings based on their parent’s gender AND for crimes they did not commit? The right answer is CHANGE the laws for the benefit of ALL and NOT BREAK the laws.

Change Laws In a recent IVF case in Texas, a court ruled that a woman who had given birth to lovely IVF children was the “mother” using donor eggs. In another recent case, US citizenship was DENIED to another set of IVF children who were born to a US Citizen mother outside the US using donor eggs. Why the difference? Its confusing, is she a mother or not? Fortunately, the two siblings are growing up together although in Israel. You may or may not know but there are 8 possible scenarios (see table below) to assign parentage via IVF while there is only 1 way to have a natural born child. Does the law account for ALL the 8 scenarios or is it trying to fit a square peg in a round hole?  I am first an IVF parent and then a male. Is that how the law sees it? We are forced to discuss “biological parentage” and “gender” because the LAWS are forcing us to when it comes to IVF children even though socially our beliefs may be different.

IVF Scenarios

What are the different scenarios in an IVF? And who are the LEGAL parents?

IVF ChildFSMEMWASAESWIFIM
1????
2????
3????
4????
5????
6????
7????
8????

Legend:

1) FS = Father’s Sperm (Biological father)          2) ME = Mother’s Egg (Biological mother)

3) MW = Mother’s Womb                                  4) AS = Anonymous sperm donor

5) AE = Anonymous egg donor                          6) SW = Surrogate’s womb

7) IF = Intended Father                                     8) IM = Intended Mother

Each case needs to be analyzed and understood to assign parentage. More importantly, what are the IVF child’s rights? For thousands of years, a child comes from a woman which is still true. There are eight different ways to assign parentage in an IVF child case, why are we trying to “assign parenthood” based on “natural born child” case. Are we trying to fit a square peg into a round hole? The issue becomes as the cases highlighted here, what happens when there is “no biological link” or when the gender of the only known biological parent is a male? What rights does the child get? Do such children have EQUAL protection of their human rights and child rights?

What is so special about IVF pregnancy?

1) First, IVF is NOT a baby making machine. An IVF child is just as much a human as anyone else and should have equal rights like a natural born child.

2) Second, an IVF pregnancy requires co-ordination, efforts, assistance, finances, and above all blessings from multiple people and agencies. With current success ratio of about 33% for IVF pregnancies resulting in children, it is a very emotional, traumatic, anxious time for an IVF family.

3) Third, a person becomes an IVF parent because of infertility issues which in itself is very traumatic to deal with. There should be no added burden on an IVF family with UNEQUAL LAWS for the IVF child and family.

Current IVF Landscape

“All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming.” ~ Helen Keller

1) In a recent IVF case in Texas, a court ruled that a woman who had given birth to lovely IVF children was the “mother” who had used donor eggs. In another recent case, US citizenship was DENIED to another set of IVF children who were born to a US Citizen mother outside the US using donor eggs. Why the difference? Its confusing, is she a mother or not? Fortunately, the two siblings are growing up together although in Israel. A US diplomat spokesperson said at the time that while they sympathize with the US citizen mother and children, they are following the law. We need to change the laws.

2) In another horror case (Link : http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/01/28/ca-world-of-surrogacy-idUSnPnLA48974+160+PRN20130128) of a US couple trying to have an IVF child in India, the sperm samples were swapped accidentally by the IVF clinic in India and thus NO biological link exists between the innocent IVF child and the US parents. The choice was to leave the innocent child in an orphanage or try to bring the child to the US on humanitarian grounds. Is it the innocent child’s fault or the parent’s fault? Should there be a legal recourse for medical “accidents” outside the parent’s control?

3) In another case, (Link : http://thestatesman.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=423169&catid=73) a father on US green card was left stranded with an IVF daughter in India with no “legal US mother” and is living in EXILE in India raising the innocent IVF child. Even worse, the little girl has an IVF sibling, a brother, in the US who she has NEVER met and it was the brother who wanted a sibling that she is born. What is the innocent IVF siblings fault? There are other bi-national LGBTI immigrants who are also living in EXILE from the US and are together, but the difference is innocent children of LGBTI immigrants are NOT SPLIT and being PUNISHED.

4) India as a country is fast becoming the IVF outsourcing capital of the world because of lower medical costs, ease of availability of egg donors and/or commercial surrogates.  An egg donor died during an IVF procedure and allegedly she was only 17 at the time, does she have any human rights? Are there any legal repurcusions and who should be held liable? If a surrogate dies during an IVF child pregnancy or birth, does she have any human rights? Are there any legal repurcusions? Is IVF being inadvertently used as a “baby making factory” with no respect for basic rights for the innocent IVF child and the IVF ecosystem as a whole? While what India chooses to do is a sovereign affair, we want US residents to respect basic human rights of the entire IVF ecosystem including donors and/or surrogates.

It is IMPORTANT to note that infertility and IVF are often dealt with secrecy. As a result, very few cases are made public. These cases are just tip of the iceberg. A lot of people may choose to abandon or not go public for their own personal reasons.

 

Why Now?

“A child belongs with his [biological] family” ~ the former US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

We are asking for legal immigration of children of legal immigrants or US Citizens and ensure their rights and safety. We are asking for your support to accelerate the inevitable.  Are prevailing laws equipped to deal with the possibilities of IVF? The fundamental issue is IVF cases where there is NO LEGAL MOTHER, so is that the innocent IVF child’s fault and should be punished? As per prevailing laws, are only children with LEGAL MOTHER allowed to touch a sibling, feel a sibling, hug a sibling, kiss a sibling?  Or do innocent children have their own rights. The innocent IVF child did not ask to be born, now that they are in this world in a LEGAL LIMBO, now what? We Move Forward…

1) As per a June 2011 US government report, the right answer is for the laws to catch up with IVF technology. The intent is NOT to punish innocent IVF children by separating them from their biological families. Let the best interest of the children come first. The appeal is for your support to accelerate the inevitable and not wait till 2101 : IVF Siblings Odyssey.

2) US President Obama recently asked to do more to protect innocent children. In a recent US Government Guideline, there was reprieve for spouses of LGBTI immigrants but nothing for children of LGBTI. Do children of LGBTI immigrants deserve LESS rights than spouses of LGBTI immigrants? 

3) US is a world leader when it comes to protecting and promoting human rights and child rights. This is new ground for the 21st century and we are asking the US Government to take the lead and at the very least the innocent child should be protected. Can US become a world leader and show the way to rest of the world for equal rights of IVF children and families?

4) If discriminating based on race, gender, religion, sexual orientation is a crime, then why is it OK to discriminate based on birth of a child via IVF or natural born?

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”  – Martin Luther King, Jr.

5) Past generations have fought for end to slavery, equal women rights, equal civil rights, end to apartheid, and so on. There is a wind of change asking for equal gay rights, equal lesbian rights, equal intersex rights. IVF is a popular medical technology used to have children by gays, lesbians, intersex, infertile families or singles. What about equal IVF child rights? As time moves forward, number of IVF children are only going to increase. This is our generations’s fight.

6) During the baby scooping era from 1940s to 1970s, USCanada and Australia forced adoptions of innocent children born to single mothers because it was “socially unacceptable” and gave the children to “deserving infertile couples”. The ONLY FAULT of the innocent child to grow up SEPARATELY from the biological family is they were born to a “single mother”. Governments are apologizing today for this retrogressive behaviour but can NEVER restore what was lost between the innocent child and biological family including siblings. Is the ONLY FAULT of an innocent IVF child to grow up SEPARATELY from his only known biological family and siblings because he is born to a “father” with “NO legal mother”? Imagine how that will sound in the future when single fathers and gay fathers will be getting equal respect as parents.

One thing is certain before this century is over, the changes requested will be a reality. What we need is an environment for families to live truthfully, legally, and happily. Can US become a world leader and show the way to rest of the world for IVF children and families?

Call To Action

“Become the change you want to see in the world” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

It is understood that the US Immigration Laws are an internal matter to the US but US is a world leader and we expect nothing less than strong leadership and support for equal rights from the US. This is about CHILD RIGHTS. This is about HUMAN RIGHTS.

1) US should LEAD international IVF/surrogacy laws (maybe through UN?) to protect and ensure equal HUMAN rights treatment for each participant in an IVF cycle including donors, surrogates and innocent IVF children. US should work with other countries in establishing basic human rights standards and practices for donors, surrogates and IVF children. While IVF is unregulated in several other countries like India, US should encourage countries to pass laws respecting the basic human rights of everyone involved and in the meantime condone violation of human rights of innocent IVF children, donors and surrogates by US citizens or residents albeit inadvertently. Would a US parent want to have a child that came at the cost of violating human rights of others? US government should share a list with US citizens showing the countries where such standards are not being met. Placing innocent IVF children in a LEGAL LIMBO is not the answer. The same bioethical reasons why human cloning is banned, placing innocent IVF children in a LEGAL LIMBO is wrong; they did not ask to be born. Do car manufacturers make cars that cannot be driven on the road safely? Then why does IVF industry “produce” IVF babies that are placed in LEGAL LIMBO? Are IVF child rights included in “Universal Human Rights”?

2) The US Immigration law for IVF parents who are US citizens:
We are asking for two changes in US Immigration Law (7 FAM 1131.4 and 7 FAM 1131.5 and its sub-sections) that deals with IVF :

a) Change the phrase from “biological mother/father” to “parent“.

b) Change the phrase from “child born out of wedlock” to “child born“. If IVF children are “born out of wedlock” during a marriage, then what is the validity of the marriage? It gets very confusing and seems the laws are contradictory. If IVF children are deemed to be “born out of wedlock”, are we implicitly taking away their legal rights of being “born in a marriage”? For example, a sister’s legal right to grow up with a brother or a brother’s legal right to grow up with a sister?

3) The applicable US Immigration law for IVF fathers on US green card: We are asking for a change of one word – from “mother” to “parent” as cited in 9 FAM 42.1 N2.1 and 9 FAM 42.1 N1.1. This would allow an IVF father legally on US green card to bring a child born outside the US though an egg donor and surrogate and thus have “NO LEGAL MOTHER” to meet US law requirements.

4) Family Laws – If a US couple has an ongoing IVF pregnancy, it must be mandatory to declare the IVF pregnancy to the court like a natural pregnancy in the event of a divorce so that the BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD can be ascertained by the court. Suppressing information from the court is a crime. The rights of an innocent IVF child in a foreign country of a US couple are directly placed in a LEGAL LIMBO.

5) Left-behind IVF child law – The needs of an IVF child are NO DIFFERENT than a natural born child. An IVF child also needs love, care, clothes, food, shelter, books, toys, education, and so on. If an intended parent abandons an IVF pregnancy or IVF child in a foreign country, they should be held accountable and responsible because the IVF child’s needs are EQUAL. If female foeticide or female infanticide is a crime, why is abandoning an IVF child NOT a crime or have NO LEGAL repurcusions? Is an IVF child LESS of a child than a natural born child? An IVF child is not an unwanted pregnancy but a deliberate pregnancy to bring an innocent life into this world. Why abandon with NO accountability or responsibility?

6) Legal recourse for lapses – In cases where the fertility clinic lapses like accidentally swapping samples there should be a legal recourse. In this case, a DNA test would be negative but what if the intended parents still want to bring an IVF child born outside the US back to the US and raise them? It is traumatic enough to deal with infertility and the trauma only continues when there are serious lapses like switching samples of the biological parent.

7) Debate on Parentage – Define clearly on parentage of the child including issuance of legal documents like birth certificate. A valid birth certificate is a fundamental right of the CHILD and not the parents. It is a document that the child carries for life including adulthood. As the technology evolves, (Link Is : “Three-Parent IVF” Up For Public Consultation In Britain : http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/250343.php) it is possible to have a “three parent IVF child” where the DNA is from three parents. What will be the legal impact of this?

8) Public Service

a) Just like there are public service announcements through radio advertisements, etc. to educate and spread awareness about adoption and its legalities, there should be similar public service campaigns for IVF families.

b) Just like there are travel advisories for US citizens to risky regions, there should be IVF/surrogacy advisories for US citizens of countries that uphold basic IVF child rights and basic human rights of the IVF industry like donors and surrogates.

Who is Impacted?

Innocent IVF child, anyone having an IVF child like infertile couples, non-biological mothers, gay or lesbian parents, intersex families, single parents.

This is a HUMAN RIGHTS issue and an inclusive issue that affects all parents. Even if you disagree with LGBTI, please support equal rights of IVF children as 1 in 6 (15%) straight couples have fertility issues (as per CDC data) and may use IVF. If gay rights existed today, my children would be united. If gender-neutral parent laws existed, my children would be united. Infertility is traumatic enough, I know I have lived it, let the trauma be not passed to the innocent children of IVF and the IVF fraternity as a whole.

When it comes to law, WORDS do matter and are the cause for separation of innocent IVF siblings. Should there be gender neutral laws in the best interest of the child? I pray and appeal to you as one parent to another, to please sign the petition and support equal rights for children. 

 

Advocacy Brings REAL Change

“We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone” – Former US President Ronald Reagan

There is a proposed surrogacy/IVF bill in Indian Parliament where our suggestions are being heard directly by HelpSomeonethe working committee and ALSO being included. We are also working with other social organizations and individuals who care about equal rights IVF children and families and the entire IVF ecosystem. We are making the world of IVF/surrogacy safer for children and India is No. 1 in the world when it comes to number of IVF/surrogacy pregnancies.

We have also made an impact in raising the awareness at an international level and recently the US Embassy in India updated their IVF/surrogacy guidelines for the benefit of innocent IVF children and IVF families.

Above all, it is my humble request to share with MAXIMUM people and ALL parents you know so we can spread awareness, educate and bring change for equal IVF rights. Will Vedant and Medhavi (IVF children themselves) and other IVF children like them advocate and want equal IVF rights when they are older? 

 

Prayer

We are committed to truth and fighting for IVF children, families and the entire IVF ecosystem. We ask for your support to make the CHANGE happen in our lifetime. Education and spreading awareness comes FIRST, change and laws come next

With your support and help, we can get equal IVF child rights in the US and rest of the world. Change is gradual and generational. We are convinced the proposed changes will happen, we want to accelerate them.

Thank you for investing your time in reading this and for your support. 

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: